Things I'd like to tell my students - - -
Ian said that I should update my blog; the problem is that the main thing I would like to put on my blog I have decided against for various reasons, one of which is that- - - well, let's just say I'm not.
Trey GOT A JOB, he is working at Front Page News in Little 5 so hopefully he will make lots of $$ and can save up and get a car before too long, and then go back to school. I think he rather enjoyed being in college and I'm sure he would enjoy it again, besides, everyone knows waitering is not really a good permanent Career. He'd be better off doing something he enjoyed more and could make money at.
O and I read on the internet that there was one teacher who had a bunch of things that he Wanted to say to his students But Couldn't, and I had to think about it. There isn't that much to say to these students as sometimes, but still: Here's my list.
1st period: Boy who sits over by the wall; You look like a three star clown when you come to school. The boy whom everyone says looks like a gorilla does, and he acts like one too. Boy who wore the hat and mirrored sunglasses: Looking like Michael Jackson is NOT a good thing. 3rd Period: Young man: You look like a Big Flaming Mop. You need to do something with your hair and turn down the FLAMES, dammit. Mr. I wanna be Outcast: you need to stop, and you need to come to terms with your sexuality too. You are not nearly as cool as you think you are. Mr. boy who sits behind I wanna be Outkast. If you talk constantly, girls don't like that. Stop it. You don't have that much to say. Cheer Chick: You make an awful whistling noise when you breathe. What's up with that?
4th period: Young lady in the front row pulling out your weave: When you write essays, I take them home and show them to my friends when we drink and we laugh at them.
Dude with the two different colour eyes: That is so cool! Can we get together and make a movie? Round Boy: You are not Fat Albert. Get over it.
Last term:
1st period: Violinist: You aren't as smart as you look.
3rd period: French-speaking girl: Your imitation of Joan Crawford with the Wire Hangers was very, well, VERY. You should have gotten kicked out of school, because you are SERIOUSLY insane. Li'l Reyna: Your Bette Davis impression was spot on, (If I weren't in this wheelchair, Blanche- - - ) but why is your hair shoe-polish black this term? Who the hell gave you that fashion advice? Kim Jong-Il? Grill-Boy: If you can fill your mouth with ugly pieces of metal, you can afford a damn pencil. Boy with the Porn Name: You are NOT a thug. Get over it.
4th period. La Choriste: You are not all that. Boy who sat in the corner: Your reality check has seriously bounced. You might believe in yourself but you have to produce to give other people a reason to believe in you.
Boy who had issues with me: You are not going to be Cedric the Entertainer. In a few years, I think you are going to wear a really ugly dress at that new drag club at Underground.
Noisy Girl: The universe does not revolve around you! And volume does not make up for the lack of interest in your stories. Just because you are LOUD doesn't make you Interesting. You are like a big giant black hole that sucks up attention. It's kinda tragic.
Trey GOT A JOB, he is working at Front Page News in Little 5 so hopefully he will make lots of $$ and can save up and get a car before too long, and then go back to school. I think he rather enjoyed being in college and I'm sure he would enjoy it again, besides, everyone knows waitering is not really a good permanent Career. He'd be better off doing something he enjoyed more and could make money at.
O and I read on the internet that there was one teacher who had a bunch of things that he Wanted to say to his students But Couldn't, and I had to think about it. There isn't that much to say to these students as sometimes, but still: Here's my list.
1st period: Boy who sits over by the wall; You look like a three star clown when you come to school. The boy whom everyone says looks like a gorilla does, and he acts like one too. Boy who wore the hat and mirrored sunglasses: Looking like Michael Jackson is NOT a good thing. 3rd Period: Young man: You look like a Big Flaming Mop. You need to do something with your hair and turn down the FLAMES, dammit. Mr. I wanna be Outcast: you need to stop, and you need to come to terms with your sexuality too. You are not nearly as cool as you think you are. Mr. boy who sits behind I wanna be Outkast. If you talk constantly, girls don't like that. Stop it. You don't have that much to say. Cheer Chick: You make an awful whistling noise when you breathe. What's up with that?
4th period: Young lady in the front row pulling out your weave: When you write essays, I take them home and show them to my friends when we drink and we laugh at them.
Dude with the two different colour eyes: That is so cool! Can we get together and make a movie? Round Boy: You are not Fat Albert. Get over it.
Last term:
1st period: Violinist: You aren't as smart as you look.
3rd period: French-speaking girl: Your imitation of Joan Crawford with the Wire Hangers was very, well, VERY. You should have gotten kicked out of school, because you are SERIOUSLY insane. Li'l Reyna: Your Bette Davis impression was spot on, (If I weren't in this wheelchair, Blanche- - - ) but why is your hair shoe-polish black this term? Who the hell gave you that fashion advice? Kim Jong-Il? Grill-Boy: If you can fill your mouth with ugly pieces of metal, you can afford a damn pencil. Boy with the Porn Name: You are NOT a thug. Get over it.
4th period. La Choriste: You are not all that. Boy who sat in the corner: Your reality check has seriously bounced. You might believe in yourself but you have to produce to give other people a reason to believe in you.
Boy who had issues with me: You are not going to be Cedric the Entertainer. In a few years, I think you are going to wear a really ugly dress at that new drag club at Underground.
Noisy Girl: The universe does not revolve around you! And volume does not make up for the lack of interest in your stories. Just because you are LOUD doesn't make you Interesting. You are like a big giant black hole that sucks up attention. It's kinda tragic.
posted by SavageATL at 9:52 AM
2 Comments:
This was incredible...maybe you should give your co-workers evaluations too! I loved it!
"If I weren't in this wheelchair, [Jane]...." Um, that was Joan Crawford's character. Bette Davis had the reply: "Butcha ARE in that chair, Blance, ya ARE...."
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