New Joke
I have a new joke that I thought I would share. Note: This is still a work in progress.
Don't you hate it when, in reminiscing of high school days, your apparently successful, attractive, and responsible friends tell you things like, "O, I don't really remember senior year, I was drunk and skipped school with the cool kids" And your memories of high school center around, say, Algebra 3 homework, because you were a total geek and BELIEVED what patently unsuccessful people, like your guidance counselor, told you about the value of working hard in high school? You wasted your best opportunities to be completely idiotic without major consequences, unlike, for example, adulthood, when stories in which projectile vomiting features highly are no longer really entertaining, and instead of laughter, provoke sympathy.
Yes, I was a total geek in high school; except for one really unfortunate incident when I made a desperate and pathetic attempt to fit in-
I had seen some movie in which the Thing to Do was to go through your parents' medicine cabinet and share their prescription drugs with your friends. The problem with this was that at my house, my mother had read enough Nietzsche to believe that What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and as a result, we didn't have any prescription drugs. We didn't even have Tylenol. The only way I could think of to get some would be to have my wisdom teeth removed, but that seemed worse. But I thought about this, and thought about this, and being the resourceful person I was, decided to make my own prescription drugs.
No, I wasn't going to set up a lab in the kitchen; the internet, you remember, had not been invented yet, so I wouldn't have had any way of getting recipes. I would take Tylenol and pretend it was prescription drugs. So I went to Phar-Mor, and bought some generic tylenol. The problem with this is that the caplets were imprinted with exactly what they were, so I took a razor blade and shaved off the imprints.
You have to give me credit for trying, right? I was all excited the next day when I went to school, and I showed them to my friends, claiming they were codeine.
My friends refused to touch them, because after they had been altered, they "looked funny."
I was not about to let all that work go to waste. What I needed was: stupider friends.
Don't you hate it when, in reminiscing of high school days, your apparently successful, attractive, and responsible friends tell you things like, "O, I don't really remember senior year, I was drunk and skipped school with the cool kids" And your memories of high school center around, say, Algebra 3 homework, because you were a total geek and BELIEVED what patently unsuccessful people, like your guidance counselor, told you about the value of working hard in high school? You wasted your best opportunities to be completely idiotic without major consequences, unlike, for example, adulthood, when stories in which projectile vomiting features highly are no longer really entertaining, and instead of laughter, provoke sympathy.
Yes, I was a total geek in high school; except for one really unfortunate incident when I made a desperate and pathetic attempt to fit in-
I had seen some movie in which the Thing to Do was to go through your parents' medicine cabinet and share their prescription drugs with your friends. The problem with this was that at my house, my mother had read enough Nietzsche to believe that What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and as a result, we didn't have any prescription drugs. We didn't even have Tylenol. The only way I could think of to get some would be to have my wisdom teeth removed, but that seemed worse. But I thought about this, and thought about this, and being the resourceful person I was, decided to make my own prescription drugs.
No, I wasn't going to set up a lab in the kitchen; the internet, you remember, had not been invented yet, so I wouldn't have had any way of getting recipes. I would take Tylenol and pretend it was prescription drugs. So I went to Phar-Mor, and bought some generic tylenol. The problem with this is that the caplets were imprinted with exactly what they were, so I took a razor blade and shaved off the imprints.
You have to give me credit for trying, right? I was all excited the next day when I went to school, and I showed them to my friends, claiming they were codeine.
My friends refused to touch them, because after they had been altered, they "looked funny."
I was not about to let all that work go to waste. What I needed was: stupider friends.
posted by SavageATL at 9:19 AM
1 Comments:
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