Avoiding Lesson Plans
Right now I'm avoiding making lesson plans- I should be doing that now but I don't feel like it. Also I have a lot to talk about.
The first thing I would like to mention is that you know how you have one friend who is sort of manipulative and demanding and needy at the same time and par consequent you really don't care for this person all that much- like you've known this person for a long time, but you don't really KNOW them all that well. You're not really open and sharing with them. But out of the goodness of your wizened little heart, or the need to rack up karma points in case you really MIGHT go to hell for all those things the Bible thumpers are carrying on about- you accompany this person to the same boring stuffy Decatur bar that they like to go to for no perceptible reason when they ask- and then when you invite them to your dinner party, they don't come. And you are mildly miffed about this, even though you don't particularly like this person. And your partner absolutely hates them. . I suppose the point is that even though we don't like someone, if we invite them, we are unhappy when they do not come.
Oooo, I have to talk about Alex. He is in need of an intervention AGAIN. What happened was Sandy hooked him up with this chick she works with, Sara. Now those of you who know Sandy know that Sandy doesn't really like other people, particularly women, and so she is very picky about whom she approves of. Sometimes she'll point to people she doesn't know (this is NOT an exaggeration) in the mall and say I don't like those people, they look boring. So for Sandy to have approved of her is - well, nothing short of amazing. Also keep in mind that women are not exactly throwing themselves at Alex's feet on account of he is a shaved ape robot. Alex and Sara went on one date, and he required extreme intervention to call her again, and then they went on half a date, because she took him to a friend's wedding- and then- apparently alcohol was involved- she "kept telling me that she had made some mistakes in the past." Alex did not realise this was an obvious cue- "since she kept saying it, finally I asked, what kind of mistakes." Brilliant prediction: Alex is not ever going to open a salon to rival Mme de Stael's. Alex was horrified to discover that she had had SEX! Previously! With GUYS! He was so horrified he was playing his leg like a harp- if you would like, ask me and I can demonstrate this in person for you. Apparently, she had had sex in college, and with MORE THAN ONE PERSON- but not in the same night. Julio and I decided, in the summer of my singlehood, that I would be a ho if I had sex with more than one guy in the same night. Sshe apparently mentioned something about she was going with one guy, and then cheated on him with another guy, and you would all have paid good money to witness Alex's utter astonishment that she seemed to be BRAGGING about it. He was at least as shocked as you would have been to find out, a la Funky Cold Medina, that she was a man. Keep in mind Alex is 24.
Now my response was the usual, which is to say derisive, and I tried to explain to Alex that people commonly call sowing their wild oats "mistakes" even though that isn't what they really mean by them. A Mistake was, for example, the time I tore up the door on the Calais, because I would NOT want to do it again. Driving around with Julie in February in the convertible and sleeping with different guys was not a Mistake because I thoroughly enjoyed it although I might not necessarily need to do it again at this stage in my life. I know why she was bragging about it because as far as I can tell women are just as liberated (read: horndogs) as men are; gay men can't be buying ALL those dildoes, they have boyfriends for that. So why shouldn't she be happy she got some in college? From what I can tell she was telling Alex that she had fun in college and is now ready to settle down with a nice guy (it would seem him, because otherwise she wouldn't be telling him that).
Alex conferred with Jen on this subject, which is like asking me for advice on sports betting or how to be more butch. Jen is the last person to ask for advice on dating, having narrowly escaped getting involved in some Laci Peterson style fiasco. Seriously, you could ask the Dallases for fashion/beauty tips or Freomi for financial advice first, or Trey for career advice first. Jen told him that girls don't like guys with less experience - -she must have run down the batteries I bought her for her birthday- and then do you know what Alex did? HE CALLED SARA UP AND TOLD HER THIS! Which is basically saying, in fancier language, that she is a ho.
Oooo! I was MAD, because it would be nice to see someone carry on the genes in our family, even if their children will probably be twitchy and strange. I want to babysit the children so I can teach them things like No more Wire Hangers EVER! and how to appreciate Eurythmics, and drink tea, and all the lines in Baby Jane, since Alejandro has gotten somewhat old for those things.
And I don't think, as Freomi were hypothesising, that this is because he doesn't like her. As far as I can tell, he does; I just think that where normal guys stash the porn, he has a stack of now-obscure Victorian novels in which women are ruined by holding hands with their uncle in public or something. All of us roundly criticised him, so we made him apologise, which he did not want to do because according to him, "you have to treat girls mean." That may work for someone who can more convincingly cut a bad-boy figure but Alex has a hard time working himself up to mild-mannered. He's an ACCOUNTANT, for God's sake. Where did he get this idea, I wanted to know. From Brandon, he said. So he's taking relationship advice from Jen, directly, and Brandon, by example - - - we should shut the curtain on this sordid little perversion of morals.
But not before we point out that he steadfastly declined to follow my example. You and Trey fight all the time, he said, about stupid stuff. Actually, I don't think we fight very much, and we don't fight about stupid things, as he claims; we fight about things like why doesn't Trey come home some nights. Well, that's what married couples DO for the most part. They can be blissfully happy and still bicker; if we weren't blissfully happy, Trey would have been out on his shapely rump ages ago. Perhaps deep down inside Alex's little moralising heart, he believes we CANNOT possibly be happy.
At any rate, he went with Sara and Saniel - I think he should have supervised dates with her until he learns how to do it- to the baseball match today and I told him to take her flowers and be nice. I hope he does.
The first thing I would like to mention is that you know how you have one friend who is sort of manipulative and demanding and needy at the same time and par consequent you really don't care for this person all that much- like you've known this person for a long time, but you don't really KNOW them all that well. You're not really open and sharing with them. But out of the goodness of your wizened little heart, or the need to rack up karma points in case you really MIGHT go to hell for all those things the Bible thumpers are carrying on about- you accompany this person to the same boring stuffy Decatur bar that they like to go to for no perceptible reason when they ask- and then when you invite them to your dinner party, they don't come. And you are mildly miffed about this, even though you don't particularly like this person. And your partner absolutely hates them. . I suppose the point is that even though we don't like someone, if we invite them, we are unhappy when they do not come.
Oooo, I have to talk about Alex. He is in need of an intervention AGAIN. What happened was Sandy hooked him up with this chick she works with, Sara. Now those of you who know Sandy know that Sandy doesn't really like other people, particularly women, and so she is very picky about whom she approves of. Sometimes she'll point to people she doesn't know (this is NOT an exaggeration) in the mall and say I don't like those people, they look boring. So for Sandy to have approved of her is - well, nothing short of amazing. Also keep in mind that women are not exactly throwing themselves at Alex's feet on account of he is a shaved ape robot. Alex and Sara went on one date, and he required extreme intervention to call her again, and then they went on half a date, because she took him to a friend's wedding- and then- apparently alcohol was involved- she "kept telling me that she had made some mistakes in the past." Alex did not realise this was an obvious cue- "since she kept saying it, finally I asked, what kind of mistakes." Brilliant prediction: Alex is not ever going to open a salon to rival Mme de Stael's. Alex was horrified to discover that she had had SEX! Previously! With GUYS! He was so horrified he was playing his leg like a harp- if you would like, ask me and I can demonstrate this in person for you. Apparently, she had had sex in college, and with MORE THAN ONE PERSON- but not in the same night. Julio and I decided, in the summer of my singlehood, that I would be a ho if I had sex with more than one guy in the same night. Sshe apparently mentioned something about she was going with one guy, and then cheated on him with another guy, and you would all have paid good money to witness Alex's utter astonishment that she seemed to be BRAGGING about it. He was at least as shocked as you would have been to find out, a la Funky Cold Medina, that she was a man. Keep in mind Alex is 24.
Now my response was the usual, which is to say derisive, and I tried to explain to Alex that people commonly call sowing their wild oats "mistakes" even though that isn't what they really mean by them. A Mistake was, for example, the time I tore up the door on the Calais, because I would NOT want to do it again. Driving around with Julie in February in the convertible and sleeping with different guys was not a Mistake because I thoroughly enjoyed it although I might not necessarily need to do it again at this stage in my life. I know why she was bragging about it because as far as I can tell women are just as liberated (read: horndogs) as men are; gay men can't be buying ALL those dildoes, they have boyfriends for that. So why shouldn't she be happy she got some in college? From what I can tell she was telling Alex that she had fun in college and is now ready to settle down with a nice guy (it would seem him, because otherwise she wouldn't be telling him that).
Alex conferred with Jen on this subject, which is like asking me for advice on sports betting or how to be more butch. Jen is the last person to ask for advice on dating, having narrowly escaped getting involved in some Laci Peterson style fiasco. Seriously, you could ask the Dallases for fashion/beauty tips or Freomi for financial advice first, or Trey for career advice first. Jen told him that girls don't like guys with less experience - -she must have run down the batteries I bought her for her birthday- and then do you know what Alex did? HE CALLED SARA UP AND TOLD HER THIS! Which is basically saying, in fancier language, that she is a ho.
Oooo! I was MAD, because it would be nice to see someone carry on the genes in our family, even if their children will probably be twitchy and strange. I want to babysit the children so I can teach them things like No more Wire Hangers EVER! and how to appreciate Eurythmics, and drink tea, and all the lines in Baby Jane, since Alejandro has gotten somewhat old for those things.
And I don't think, as Freomi were hypothesising, that this is because he doesn't like her. As far as I can tell, he does; I just think that where normal guys stash the porn, he has a stack of now-obscure Victorian novels in which women are ruined by holding hands with their uncle in public or something. All of us roundly criticised him, so we made him apologise, which he did not want to do because according to him, "you have to treat girls mean." That may work for someone who can more convincingly cut a bad-boy figure but Alex has a hard time working himself up to mild-mannered. He's an ACCOUNTANT, for God's sake. Where did he get this idea, I wanted to know. From Brandon, he said. So he's taking relationship advice from Jen, directly, and Brandon, by example - - - we should shut the curtain on this sordid little perversion of morals.
But not before we point out that he steadfastly declined to follow my example. You and Trey fight all the time, he said, about stupid stuff. Actually, I don't think we fight very much, and we don't fight about stupid things, as he claims; we fight about things like why doesn't Trey come home some nights. Well, that's what married couples DO for the most part. They can be blissfully happy and still bicker; if we weren't blissfully happy, Trey would have been out on his shapely rump ages ago. Perhaps deep down inside Alex's little moralising heart, he believes we CANNOT possibly be happy.
At any rate, he went with Sara and Saniel - I think he should have supervised dates with her until he learns how to do it- to the baseball match today and I told him to take her flowers and be nice. I hope he does.
posted by SavageATL at 7:16 PM
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