In Which Trey's Friend Steve Shall NOT be Tempted to Visit Again.
Ed may appreciate this, it is a long story about Sheridan and I behaving badly.
But first the boring things: I have been fighting with Trey because he is irresponsible (quelle surprise!) and mainly because I cannot stand his one friend, this Jamie girl. I met her once and she was most reminiscent of a lamprey, which if you do not know what it is I will tell you, or you can look it up. It's a really horrid sort of fish which doesn't have jaws and instead has a round mouth with horrible circles of pointy teeth and what it does is latch onto other fish and suck their blood until they die. This girl has borrowed the lawnmower for several weeks now and also ran over the cord and has not replaced the cord, nor has she returned the lawnmower. Of course she hasn't- she doesn't have a car either, so not only does she borrow the lawnmower, but it has to be brought to her. O wait, I have an update on the lawnmower situation. The update is that now the lawnmower has "exploded' and I just had it repaired, which was not cheap- - - Jamie is going to have to pay for its replacement. Well, Trey does not know this, but I let "someone at work borrow" his digital camera until the lawnmower either returns or is paid for. Trey seems to think this is unfair. "You don't need the lawnmower all the time to have fun," is his argument. You can imagine how well that goes over with me. Oooh, I do not like Jamie. One useless screw up is more than enough without having to drag around a whole bunch of useless screw ups.
And here's another unexciting bit- I really shouldn't post this here because I don't think it's a good idea for other teachers to read this bit, and then read the next- (that's what you call a teaser, Alex) but I came up with a really good game for the students to talk about family members. The way it works is I have a form on the overhead with blanks the students are supposed to fill in, like My mother's name is ________ and My cousin's name is _____________ . Now the way this works is each student gets a card with a name written on it, like Rebecca Valette, and on the back of the card are two clues, like You are Marc Valette's mother and You are the Daughter of Francois Du Bois and they are supposed to figure out all the people they are related to from this. They enjoyed it and want to do it tomorrow.
Well, here's the bit about Sheridan- - - Sheridan was all upset because Guty (Julio's brother) was in a car accident this weekend and had to be helicoptered to Grady, although we did not know until later that he really wasn't that badly hurt- I suppose - but the driver of the car is brain dead and is waiting, more or less, to be taken off of life support. So Sheridan solved this in the usual way- which is to get stupid drunk with me- on Sunday night. She was also upset because her new boyfriend, who is a Dom and they get into the whole whips and chains thing- except he does it ALL the time - did not want her to come down and drink because he said she's a lush. Well, we all KNEW that, and really, it doesn't seem to have hurt her very much- but he got mad and beat her and left. Then she came down, and we drank a little gin and then started on the beer and I think because he had been around she was feeling, um, excited, so she thought she would show me some of the things that she had learnt. So this was like non-sexual sex- she sucked on my fingers, and then thought it would be a good idea if I played with her breasts. Why not? I thought. So I did, and discovered, I don't really know what to do with breasts, so I thought, let me do what I usually do with parts that I am interested in, and I started licking her breasts. This had gone on for a few minutes when Trey walked in the door with some friend Steve which he said he worked with. Trey was, to put it mildly, somewhat surprised. Rather than being ashamed or embarrassed, I thought it was hysterically funny- I still do- and laughed about it. Trey pretended to be amused but he had that look on his face that your mother got when you ran through the house with the baseball bat- put those things AWAY already. Both of us sat on the floor and shrieked with laughter, and Sheridan wanted EVERYONE to play with her breasts, so Trey did so somewhat gingerly, because she insisted, in the way you would touch a dead thing to see if it were still alive or not. "We're respectable people in real life!" I insisted to Steve, whom I don't think will be coming to visit us again, and if he does, I shan't allow it. I've never before walked into anyone's house for the first time and been forced to witness a middle aged drunk woman and a youngish gay schoolteacher messing with each other on the floor., and if he isn't disturbed by that, well, he ought to be.
A couple of days after this (Tuesday) Trey asked me if I liked Steve. What do you mean, do I like him, I asked. In what way? Well, says Trey, I was lying when I said that he worked with me, because he's really homeless. Good, I said, then he shan't want to come live here, and if he does, I'll buy some vodka and bring Sheridan down again. He's a Hare Krishna, said Trey- not in the way I would have said it- which would have been in the way you make reference to something revolting- but proudly, as though this were some sort of accomplishment. O no, I said. Absolutely not, I am not having any homeless Hare Krishnas living over here. Trey was oblivious to this. They chant, he said. That's what I need in my life. I said. I need you to find someone dumber and more useless than yourself and keep them as a pet. And I do not want anyone chanting any Hare Krishna, or chanting anything, unless it is How Great Is Alan, we shall Obey his Every Command.
Perhaps I should start a cult and brainwash people but that hasn't worked out very well with Trey, and believe me, there isn't a whole lot to wash. And those kinds of things always seem to end up as suicides, and that's not what I really want, I want to live to a ripe old age and hit people with my walker and get away with it and have minions. Hmm.
But first the boring things: I have been fighting with Trey because he is irresponsible (quelle surprise!) and mainly because I cannot stand his one friend, this Jamie girl. I met her once and she was most reminiscent of a lamprey, which if you do not know what it is I will tell you, or you can look it up. It's a really horrid sort of fish which doesn't have jaws and instead has a round mouth with horrible circles of pointy teeth and what it does is latch onto other fish and suck their blood until they die. This girl has borrowed the lawnmower for several weeks now and also ran over the cord and has not replaced the cord, nor has she returned the lawnmower. Of course she hasn't- she doesn't have a car either, so not only does she borrow the lawnmower, but it has to be brought to her. O wait, I have an update on the lawnmower situation. The update is that now the lawnmower has "exploded' and I just had it repaired, which was not cheap- - - Jamie is going to have to pay for its replacement. Well, Trey does not know this, but I let "someone at work borrow" his digital camera until the lawnmower either returns or is paid for. Trey seems to think this is unfair. "You don't need the lawnmower all the time to have fun," is his argument. You can imagine how well that goes over with me. Oooh, I do not like Jamie. One useless screw up is more than enough without having to drag around a whole bunch of useless screw ups.
And here's another unexciting bit- I really shouldn't post this here because I don't think it's a good idea for other teachers to read this bit, and then read the next- (that's what you call a teaser, Alex) but I came up with a really good game for the students to talk about family members. The way it works is I have a form on the overhead with blanks the students are supposed to fill in, like My mother's name is ________ and My cousin's name is _____________ . Now the way this works is each student gets a card with a name written on it, like Rebecca Valette, and on the back of the card are two clues, like You are Marc Valette's mother and You are the Daughter of Francois Du Bois and they are supposed to figure out all the people they are related to from this. They enjoyed it and want to do it tomorrow.
Well, here's the bit about Sheridan- - - Sheridan was all upset because Guty (Julio's brother) was in a car accident this weekend and had to be helicoptered to Grady, although we did not know until later that he really wasn't that badly hurt- I suppose - but the driver of the car is brain dead and is waiting, more or less, to be taken off of life support. So Sheridan solved this in the usual way- which is to get stupid drunk with me- on Sunday night. She was also upset because her new boyfriend, who is a Dom and they get into the whole whips and chains thing- except he does it ALL the time - did not want her to come down and drink because he said she's a lush. Well, we all KNEW that, and really, it doesn't seem to have hurt her very much- but he got mad and beat her and left. Then she came down, and we drank a little gin and then started on the beer and I think because he had been around she was feeling, um, excited, so she thought she would show me some of the things that she had learnt. So this was like non-sexual sex- she sucked on my fingers, and then thought it would be a good idea if I played with her breasts. Why not? I thought. So I did, and discovered, I don't really know what to do with breasts, so I thought, let me do what I usually do with parts that I am interested in, and I started licking her breasts. This had gone on for a few minutes when Trey walked in the door with some friend Steve which he said he worked with. Trey was, to put it mildly, somewhat surprised. Rather than being ashamed or embarrassed, I thought it was hysterically funny- I still do- and laughed about it. Trey pretended to be amused but he had that look on his face that your mother got when you ran through the house with the baseball bat- put those things AWAY already. Both of us sat on the floor and shrieked with laughter, and Sheridan wanted EVERYONE to play with her breasts, so Trey did so somewhat gingerly, because she insisted, in the way you would touch a dead thing to see if it were still alive or not. "We're respectable people in real life!" I insisted to Steve, whom I don't think will be coming to visit us again, and if he does, I shan't allow it. I've never before walked into anyone's house for the first time and been forced to witness a middle aged drunk woman and a youngish gay schoolteacher messing with each other on the floor., and if he isn't disturbed by that, well, he ought to be.
A couple of days after this (Tuesday) Trey asked me if I liked Steve. What do you mean, do I like him, I asked. In what way? Well, says Trey, I was lying when I said that he worked with me, because he's really homeless. Good, I said, then he shan't want to come live here, and if he does, I'll buy some vodka and bring Sheridan down again. He's a Hare Krishna, said Trey- not in the way I would have said it- which would have been in the way you make reference to something revolting- but proudly, as though this were some sort of accomplishment. O no, I said. Absolutely not, I am not having any homeless Hare Krishnas living over here. Trey was oblivious to this. They chant, he said. That's what I need in my life. I said. I need you to find someone dumber and more useless than yourself and keep them as a pet. And I do not want anyone chanting any Hare Krishna, or chanting anything, unless it is How Great Is Alan, we shall Obey his Every Command.
Perhaps I should start a cult and brainwash people but that hasn't worked out very well with Trey, and believe me, there isn't a whole lot to wash. And those kinds of things always seem to end up as suicides, and that's not what I really want, I want to live to a ripe old age and hit people with my walker and get away with it and have minions. Hmm.
posted by SavageATL at 12:15 PM
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