Nothing Amusing Happened This Week
Alex quote of the week: I was asking him about Anna, and how was she doing and he said she was upset because she started teaching at some college in CLEVELAND, Georgia- and according to him, “They downed her salary.” This provoked fits of laughter from me, as you may imagine- - - and here I thought he was getting smarter, he even remembered the phrase “ to damn with faint praise,” and used it- this was after a long and predictable discussion about how he had never heard that before (well, of COURSE not) and how he didn’t believe it existed, like he didn’t think “moldering” was a word.
We watched “Downfall” this week, the movie about Hitler’s last days in the bunker. It was very Spielbergian which is to say that it sucked from my point of view. Problem #1- the lead actress had the same perpetually astonished, frozen facial expression exemplified by Shelley Duvall in “The Shining” and the lead actress in the French movie of “The Tree of Hands-“ I think it was called Histoire de Betty or something like that. Jiminy Cricket- How do you get an acting role when you can’t-frickin-act? Even MADONNA has turned in better performances. Don’t they do that thing in acting school where the students have to portray different emotions? Then the movie was mostly lifted from “Saving Private Ryan” Which I admit- had a few good moments before it got treacly. This one- not so much, and if one has read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and Inside the Third Reich one already has a fair picture of Hitler’s last days. Then they tried, rather extraneously, to add a hero, some doctor played by Bruce-Willis-speaks-German. This movie also lifted the battlefield hospital scene from “Gone With the Wind.” I don’t know who Hitler was played by, but he seems to have taken more than a few cues from Faye Dunaway’s portrayal of Joan Crawford- you really expected him to jump up and beat the generals while shrieking about wire hangers in German- (those of you playing the drinking game in which you read my blog and drink when I make the Mommie Dearest reference, there it was). I’m sure he was probably that hysterical and unhinged but it came across as somewhat campy. The truly moving bit was when Frau Goebbels poisoned her children and then played solitaire, and she also said she didn’t want them to go on living in a world without Nazism, for them there was no future without Nazism. That made sense- especially for anyone who has read a little- because these people were low-life street thugs for the most part or dispossessed minor nobility. They had created their own world in which they were powerful and were now going to lose it forever, and be shot anyway- the children no, but then I could see how she wouldn’t want them to be orphans-
I forgot that Trey called me a “twinkle whore” once, which I still think is cute and very funny- I think I could put that on a credit card application, or business cards. My name: Cruella Dearest. Occupation: Twinkle Whore. I don’t really know exactly what a “twinkle whore” is, but it sounds like a good thing to be. And I definitely feel that a Twinkle Whore should drive a GNX.
I’ll wager all Ed’s “sophisticated New York friends” will find this quaint: The governor, strangely, asked that all schools be closed Monday and Tuesday on account of Hurricane Rita to save petrol. It is estimated that 250,000 gallons of diesel fuel would be saved each day by closing the schools. (NPR) This is so weird. I got the announcement via e-mail Friday before leaving- and it came as such a surprise! I am a little happy about it, because I am really tired and I need to recover some more from the flu but at the same time I am a little annoyed, because I don’t mind that much going to school now. It’s those dreary months in winter- November December January February, that you really wish for time off. The teachers are going to have to make it up- heaven forfend we have to make it up with the kids, but also this will cut into our snow days. I wonder what is the real rationale behind this- I was thinking perhaps they were going to use the buses to evacuate Houston, but that’s happened-. The only thing I can come up with is that the school systems buy their fuel at a fixed price futures contract- and that the suppliers want to take advantage of the rising prices and sell it at $3.79 a gallon rather than $1.75 a gallon as contracted to the schools? And maybe there’s a supplier who is a big contributor to the governor? Well, I’ll use the time to catch up on laundry.
Ola went and got herself arrested AGAIN- this time because she is going through people’s mailboxes. Sheridan, of all people, felt sorry for her (!), I think this is because Sheridan’s Aunt Flo is visiting her. Also Sheridan is in the process of breaking up with John, which I think is a Good Thing-but it has made her apparently emotionally vulnerable. I don’t know what it would take to feel sympathy for Ola- I haven’t even been personally bothered that much by Ola, but Ola’s poisoned Sheridan’s cat, cut down her trees, set fire to Ola’s yard and tried to frame Sheridan- has accused both of us of criminal trespass and “picking the mortar out of her bricks-“ and is now going through people’s mailboxes in the vicinity and doing God knows what with the mail. Personally, I’m THRILLED she was arrested, because I certainly don’t want anyone going through my mail- ever. Not Anyone. Heaven knows what they could do- run up credit cards in my name, I don’t really want to think about it, but I don’t want Ola, or anyone else, near my mailbox. I wish Ola weren’t crazy- but I don’t feel any sympathy for her. No matter how crazy or miserable you are, NOTHING gives you the right to make other people around you miserable or crazy. I am so sick of living next to the horrible people I live next to, and no one has bought the house, or made an offer, or anything. Ugh. It took us three weeks for Freddy to come and fix the dryer because he can’t bring his work truck because that creature will call his company and get him fired. We haven’t been able to do laundry for THREE WEEKS because of them. They’re flat, plain, evil.
O- Sheridan and John- now you all know they did that whole dom/sub thing, right? Keep in mind it isn’t just the whips and tie-me-up stuff, it also extends into how they handle the relationship. Apparently there’s some sort of three month contract they have in which she’s supposed to do whatever he says for three months, which I have my doubts about. I can see how that could work with the right person- but I don’t think John’s the right person and I think she’s making the right decision, because he wants to crush her pretty little soul, and I object to this. There’s a difference between being Submissive and being a slave, and I think he seems to want a Stepford wife/slave. Not cool. Plus it takes YEARS to work out the dynamics in a regular relationship, you can’t just tell someone now you’re going to be submissive to me. So she boo-hooed, and cried, and went through histrionics for like three days straight, and I had to comfort her, and she cried that she was falling apart, and that she wanted to die and so on and so forth in a rather tiresome way, because how you can get that stupidly attached to someone after 5 months I do not know. And it is not a lot of fun to have to be all sympathetic to someone, even if I do feel it. After a while of saying there, there, honey, you want to smack them in the head. So after all the histrionics, guess what she’s doing this weekend? You guessed it (well, if you means Alex, no, you didn’t, but never mind.) Just see if I do this again.
I need to talk about Alpharetta, too. It’s heaven. O my. It’s been 6 weeks, all the students are learning nicely, none of them are really irritating (well, they got rid of Precious: the Return) none of them are morbidly obese or smelly or dumb as rocks, or really attention needy, like the Ambers. They do their work, and do their homework, and it’s bliss. My Department head is so helpful, and so kind, and generous, and so is the other French teacher, and the administration is really great- like Friday was the last day to order spirit wear and of course I had left my checkbook at home and they only take checks. Linda Holt, the assistant principal, wrote a check for me! Wasn’t that ducky! Awww! My little twinkle whore heart went pitty-pat! And Lynn said she would order a rolling file cabinet for me, and congratulated me on not speaking English- I felt happy. I don’t (usually) feel at the end of the day like I’ve been run over by a truck, the way I often felt at Tri-Cities. The only day that is not so good is Wednesday because I work like 12 hours straight.
Also I would like to thank my devoted readers; Ian, for consistently commenting on my blog; Ed; Jenn, who misspelt dysfunctional- and we’ll graciously limit comment on HER remarking that MY relationship with Trey is dysfunctional by remarking that if so, Trey puts the “fun” in “dysfunctional,” thank you very much; and Rob, whom Trey is STILL talking about occasionally, and also we have a new reader! Someone named Big Daddy.
We watched “Downfall” this week, the movie about Hitler’s last days in the bunker. It was very Spielbergian which is to say that it sucked from my point of view. Problem #1- the lead actress had the same perpetually astonished, frozen facial expression exemplified by Shelley Duvall in “The Shining” and the lead actress in the French movie of “The Tree of Hands-“ I think it was called Histoire de Betty or something like that. Jiminy Cricket- How do you get an acting role when you can’t-frickin-act? Even MADONNA has turned in better performances. Don’t they do that thing in acting school where the students have to portray different emotions? Then the movie was mostly lifted from “Saving Private Ryan” Which I admit- had a few good moments before it got treacly. This one- not so much, and if one has read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and Inside the Third Reich one already has a fair picture of Hitler’s last days. Then they tried, rather extraneously, to add a hero, some doctor played by Bruce-Willis-speaks-German. This movie also lifted the battlefield hospital scene from “Gone With the Wind.” I don’t know who Hitler was played by, but he seems to have taken more than a few cues from Faye Dunaway’s portrayal of Joan Crawford- you really expected him to jump up and beat the generals while shrieking about wire hangers in German- (those of you playing the drinking game in which you read my blog and drink when I make the Mommie Dearest reference, there it was). I’m sure he was probably that hysterical and unhinged but it came across as somewhat campy. The truly moving bit was when Frau Goebbels poisoned her children and then played solitaire, and she also said she didn’t want them to go on living in a world without Nazism, for them there was no future without Nazism. That made sense- especially for anyone who has read a little- because these people were low-life street thugs for the most part or dispossessed minor nobility. They had created their own world in which they were powerful and were now going to lose it forever, and be shot anyway- the children no, but then I could see how she wouldn’t want them to be orphans-
I forgot that Trey called me a “twinkle whore” once, which I still think is cute and very funny- I think I could put that on a credit card application, or business cards. My name: Cruella Dearest. Occupation: Twinkle Whore. I don’t really know exactly what a “twinkle whore” is, but it sounds like a good thing to be. And I definitely feel that a Twinkle Whore should drive a GNX.
I’ll wager all Ed’s “sophisticated New York friends” will find this quaint: The governor, strangely, asked that all schools be closed Monday and Tuesday on account of Hurricane Rita to save petrol. It is estimated that 250,000 gallons of diesel fuel would be saved each day by closing the schools. (NPR) This is so weird. I got the announcement via e-mail Friday before leaving- and it came as such a surprise! I am a little happy about it, because I am really tired and I need to recover some more from the flu but at the same time I am a little annoyed, because I don’t mind that much going to school now. It’s those dreary months in winter- November December January February, that you really wish for time off. The teachers are going to have to make it up- heaven forfend we have to make it up with the kids, but also this will cut into our snow days. I wonder what is the real rationale behind this- I was thinking perhaps they were going to use the buses to evacuate Houston, but that’s happened-. The only thing I can come up with is that the school systems buy their fuel at a fixed price futures contract- and that the suppliers want to take advantage of the rising prices and sell it at $3.79 a gallon rather than $1.75 a gallon as contracted to the schools? And maybe there’s a supplier who is a big contributor to the governor? Well, I’ll use the time to catch up on laundry.
Ola went and got herself arrested AGAIN- this time because she is going through people’s mailboxes. Sheridan, of all people, felt sorry for her (!), I think this is because Sheridan’s Aunt Flo is visiting her. Also Sheridan is in the process of breaking up with John, which I think is a Good Thing-but it has made her apparently emotionally vulnerable. I don’t know what it would take to feel sympathy for Ola- I haven’t even been personally bothered that much by Ola, but Ola’s poisoned Sheridan’s cat, cut down her trees, set fire to Ola’s yard and tried to frame Sheridan- has accused both of us of criminal trespass and “picking the mortar out of her bricks-“ and is now going through people’s mailboxes in the vicinity and doing God knows what with the mail. Personally, I’m THRILLED she was arrested, because I certainly don’t want anyone going through my mail- ever. Not Anyone. Heaven knows what they could do- run up credit cards in my name, I don’t really want to think about it, but I don’t want Ola, or anyone else, near my mailbox. I wish Ola weren’t crazy- but I don’t feel any sympathy for her. No matter how crazy or miserable you are, NOTHING gives you the right to make other people around you miserable or crazy. I am so sick of living next to the horrible people I live next to, and no one has bought the house, or made an offer, or anything. Ugh. It took us three weeks for Freddy to come and fix the dryer because he can’t bring his work truck because that creature will call his company and get him fired. We haven’t been able to do laundry for THREE WEEKS because of them. They’re flat, plain, evil.
O- Sheridan and John- now you all know they did that whole dom/sub thing, right? Keep in mind it isn’t just the whips and tie-me-up stuff, it also extends into how they handle the relationship. Apparently there’s some sort of three month contract they have in which she’s supposed to do whatever he says for three months, which I have my doubts about. I can see how that could work with the right person- but I don’t think John’s the right person and I think she’s making the right decision, because he wants to crush her pretty little soul, and I object to this. There’s a difference between being Submissive and being a slave, and I think he seems to want a Stepford wife/slave. Not cool. Plus it takes YEARS to work out the dynamics in a regular relationship, you can’t just tell someone now you’re going to be submissive to me. So she boo-hooed, and cried, and went through histrionics for like three days straight, and I had to comfort her, and she cried that she was falling apart, and that she wanted to die and so on and so forth in a rather tiresome way, because how you can get that stupidly attached to someone after 5 months I do not know. And it is not a lot of fun to have to be all sympathetic to someone, even if I do feel it. After a while of saying there, there, honey, you want to smack them in the head. So after all the histrionics, guess what she’s doing this weekend? You guessed it (well, if you means Alex, no, you didn’t, but never mind.) Just see if I do this again.
I need to talk about Alpharetta, too. It’s heaven. O my. It’s been 6 weeks, all the students are learning nicely, none of them are really irritating (well, they got rid of Precious: the Return) none of them are morbidly obese or smelly or dumb as rocks, or really attention needy, like the Ambers. They do their work, and do their homework, and it’s bliss. My Department head is so helpful, and so kind, and generous, and so is the other French teacher, and the administration is really great- like Friday was the last day to order spirit wear and of course I had left my checkbook at home and they only take checks. Linda Holt, the assistant principal, wrote a check for me! Wasn’t that ducky! Awww! My little twinkle whore heart went pitty-pat! And Lynn said she would order a rolling file cabinet for me, and congratulated me on not speaking English- I felt happy. I don’t (usually) feel at the end of the day like I’ve been run over by a truck, the way I often felt at Tri-Cities. The only day that is not so good is Wednesday because I work like 12 hours straight.
Also I would like to thank my devoted readers; Ian, for consistently commenting on my blog; Ed; Jenn, who misspelt dysfunctional- and we’ll graciously limit comment on HER remarking that MY relationship with Trey is dysfunctional by remarking that if so, Trey puts the “fun” in “dysfunctional,” thank you very much; and Rob, whom Trey is STILL talking about occasionally, and also we have a new reader! Someone named Big Daddy.
posted by SavageATL at 10:18 AM
2 Comments:
First: delete the spam comments that people have left on your blog. It must be done out of principle.
Second: I emailed my sophisicated, cosmopolitan friends, but I limited it to employees of the New Yorker and Chloe Sevigny. We'll see if any of them reply.
Third: Aunt Flo still visits Sheridan? Although I shouldn't be, now that it occurs to me, I'm surprised. And from what I can tell about SM from peeps I know who are into that, the difference between a slave and a submissive is not one of quality but of degree. That probably didn't make any sense. Or maybe it did, and I'm the only one sophisticated enough to ungastan it. Yeah, that's probably it. Whahappah?
Oh, and "twinkle whore": that's someone who's entire life revolves around glitter. Occasionally with scrapbooking. There are benign twinkle whores, who spend all their free time shopping for glitter and reading publications from the glitter industry; and then there are more pathological twinkle whores, who shoplift glitter, spend all their money and everyone elses traveling the world in search of rare/precious glitters, and put people in danger with their risky methods of producing glitters. There was a case, in fact, in Japan of a guy who tried to cover his village with glitter. He set up some machine made of several machetes taped to a fan and tried to create glitter from foil and shower it over the village. It wasn't working to his satisfaction, so he got the bright idea of turning the entire village INTO glitter. He took his machine and tried to grind up everything in his path. It took several elephant tranquilizers to stop him. His is a really famous case, as a matter of fact. You can read about it in the Journal of Twinkle Whoresy. I think they did a big profile on new insights into the case in 1995, but you can search the journal online for that.
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