How Many Cars Does Cruella Have?

So I was all ready to get up and Be Productive and such and then: car drama.
Lady Thatcher is not operable at the moment allegedly due to an ignition module. I was able to get the coil pack off and then now it’s just replacing the actual module. For some reason- I doubt that is what is wrong but that’s what Rob (Mr. Buick) said so fine.

The Cadillac was not operable due to a dead battery but Friday I replaced the battery. Now it is fine operable except for there is a horrible noise coming from the brakes and the A/C doesn’t work. Also the TV cable needed to be adjusted or it won’t shift. I did not tell y’all about every bit of drama involved with the Cadillac but there was a lot, largely because Mitch got murdered.

Sailor Moon, we discovered, despite having gone to mechanic school sponsored by the Seventh-Day-Adventists, does not know what a T.V. cable (hint: it’s NOT Comcastic) is and is deeply befuddled by the instructions and such I had printed out. What DID you learn in missionary-mechanic school? I asked him.

Not to buy GM cars! he exclaimed, and chortled.

Well the car he had and that ran the longest was a LUMINA so I do not know about the wisdom of his advice, besides, it is a little late.

Today I was like, I’ll get the T.V. cable adjusted, then the emissions done on the Cadillac and then have it tested. This was after Dad’s main car refused to start.
He is considering buying another car, specifically, a Camry- which- a Camry is like the Brain Slug of cars, right? it just sucks up all your joie de vivre. Sandi would say it did not suck up enough of Daniel’s joie de vivre but that is more because Daniel makes (well, used to make) everyone else suffer from his excess of joie-de-vivre.

First I thought, well, the Cutlass is certainly worth fixing- there can’t be THAT much wrong with it. It should last much longer. Just with a few necessary repairs, he doesn’t need a new car, I can get the Cadillac to run and then he can use the minivan more or less permanently. But no, it seems to be heading for the Every Month Something is Going To Expensively Break Paradigm.

So I borrowed his spare car (Ruby) until I can get the Cadillac tagged and emissioned. I take Ruby to ask people “Do you know what a T.V. cable is?”

No one does, and I refuse to drop hints (it’s not a vegetable! Not an animal! Not
Comcastic!) on the theory that if you’ve never heard of it, you won’t know how to fix it.

At any rate, it does get adjusted, and it goes to get emissioned. Everything is fine except for the gas cap, I have to go buy a gas cap. Fine. Then I think, I will go home, drive Ruby, and deal with tagging Cadillac Wednesday. Progress, yes? Is good, yes? I can now go to school and finish the readings I did not finish while (sort of) watching Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People. I am so productive!

Ruby, upon returning home, decides it has had all the excitement it can stand for one day and clicks but will not start. I wiggle the battery cables. No help. I abandon the now-sulking Ruby and now have to move every single thing out of the Buick(s) pack my lunch, go get the Cadillac tagged, and hurry to school. I did not want to drive the Cadillac without a tag. At night, in the dark.
So now I am driving the Cadillac so Dad can keep the minivan for at least the rest of the week.

Were you able to count how many cars I have? The first person with the right answer wins a Prize. (hee!)