The Plot to Intentionally Inflict Emotional Distress on Alex

Today (Sunday) Alex rang me just as I was getting into the car to go to work.

"Did you start your revenge plot yet?" he asks. This time he was so incensed, he even included punctuation.

"No-o," I said. He couldn't possibly know about what I have done yet, so I said no.

"Because someone took off my tire and left it by the car and stole my lug nuts," he said, "and I was wondering if you had done it."

Now Alex should know that I'm not likely to get involved in any plot for revenge that also involves breaking a nail. Besides, if I'm going to screw with someone's car, it will be Lady Thatcher who is still out of commission.

Anyway, I will now share with you the poem I made up, right on the spot! I think I am headed for Miss Doxie levels of intelligence, which is- good, right?

It's fun to plot
But I will not
Do it anymore
Because I see
That you have tires three
Instead of tires four.

Well, it turns out that someone stole his entire tire and wheel, which I am thinking is -wow. That was unforeseen. I do not know what to tell him to do, other than A) I think he should have a Halloween party, and B) mannequin heads? it works for me.

In entirely random news, we have a memo to do for tax, and there was some discussion about which subject to choose. I thought to not worry about it and just do the first one. (someone else) in the class is picking the third one, which is supposed to be the most difficult. "Because," he tells me, "I have a background in tax and know all about these things." He described his knowledge in sufficient detail (now do you REALLY want a third hand account of tax knowledge?) I thought not.

Well! I said. One of these days- one of these days, we'll have a law class entirely based on French grammar, and - Then! We shall see!

O and I cannot say yet that this semester has Improved in any Marked way. I can say it has gotten cooler, and the work is more headache-inducing, which means that I am Seriously trying to figure out who I can talk into going to Cabo with me right before Eurythmas.

First of all they have to pay their own way, but I have to have one other person to go.

I do not want to go with Dean because he is a really great person but then- he wants to go in a direction I do not want to go with a bearded Pillsbury Doughboy. Ok?! Like, he's great! We have fabulous conversations! But! Much more the D&D type than my type.

I do not want to go anywhere with Trey anymore, because he has little nubs of front teeth and no money and is- difficult.

I do not want to go with Mr. Smurf because- I don't think he has any money either and he is supposed to go home to Indiana.

I could go with (my law school friend) but she claims not to have any money. Pawn your macbook, I tell her. It's Cabo! With sun and umbrella drinks!

I could go with MTM but she already declined.

I do not want to go with Mr. Indecisive, because he cannot make up his mind about anything.

I did ask Robin, whom I would LOVE to go to Cabo with (clothespins and ropes in a foreign country! I offer) but he does not think he will get vacation until January, also I think he is thinking this is a little fast.

That one chap only rings me after, like 11 at night, and he tastes like Formula 409.

Then I remember, i do know someone who lives in one of these countries, he is (or at least WAS a jerk 11 years ago, and I have no reason to believe he has changed) but I am thinking, Umbrella drinks! Beach! Umbrella drinks! I can deal with some jerkiness for a week. So we shall see.

Anyway, I just have to like whomever the lucky chap (most likely, although, hey, I'm open to suggestions) is well enough to go to Cabo for a week with him (which, naturally means- yah. For a WEEK.) Suppose I make That Face for a Week and it Freezes that way? That would make it difficult to get a job, don't you think? I don't have to be like, head over heels or anything. I (hee) probably won't even have to - . I'll stop now.

Today I really wanted to tell (my friend) that her dress was making her, um, chest, look particularly imposing but somehow gathered up the self-restraint not to do this.

But that means I may LACK the self restraint to avoid visiting a bar near my externship this evening after tax, having totally used up all my self restraint. My self restraint was also soaked up by- um. Also I want to let y'all know that I have transferred my unrequited lust from, um, one person to, another, which is in part inspiring my possible visit to this bar.