Worst Hold Music EVER
If you are curious as to what the worst hold music in the world sounds like, call NAPA auto parts in Decatur on Memorial Drive at 404.288.1200. It's like one of those electronic phaser guns kids bought in the '80's only it's supposed to be musical, and it's also off key, so its uniquely excruciating.
The reason I know this is because this week we fixed Trey's transmission (Yay!) Doesn't that sound all manly and complicated and impressive? Betcha didn't think someone who gets really, really excited about making curtains and the Semi-Annual sale at Bath and Body works could do things like that. Now I'll ruin it by telling you what we did: the problem was that the transmission was leaking, and if it had just been a few drops here and there that would have been one thing but it was like a quart a day. It was leaking fluid, by the way, for those of you (Trey) who think the car magically turns petrol into Magic Pixie Dust and that's what makes the car move. So we took the wheels off, and jacked up the car, and looked underneath to see what it was, and lo and behold it looked like the gasket around the pan was leaking. Now the old Cutlass had an oil leak and then I started reading the directions and it said lift the engine out of the cradle- for that car to change the OIL you had to lift the engine out of the cradle, it was a stupid design- but this looked easy to change. Trey complained incessantly about this. He didn't want to do it, it was hot, it wasn't the right day, he didn't want to, it was hot, etc. (I am thinking a very politically incorrect thing here) Then I discovered I didn't have the right socket so I had to go to Sears to buy a socket set. Trey refused to come. When I returned, I handed the socket I thought was correct to Trey. It doesn't fit, he said. It's too small. I handed him another, different size. It doesn't fit, he said. It's too small. I tried again. It doesn't fit, he said, it's too small. So I got under the car to see- and it turned out Super Genius was putting the WRONG END OF THE SOCKET onto the bolts. He was putting the end that is supposed to go in the socket wrench ionto the bolts instead of the nut hole (I wonder if someone will google that) . So I helped him, and then we managed to put the new gasket and filter and pan back on etc. We were going to do the brakes but Super Genius Trey doesn't know how to use a wrench and bobbled it all around the head of the caliper bolt and rounded off the head.
O Trey had another Super Genius moment this weekend on Saturday, he had a flat tyre on the way to work and immediately asserted that there was no spare wheel in the back. Of course there is, I said, it's on the side underneath a plastic cover. Trey couldn't find it (because he is an airhead) and went to work, leaving me with the delights of changing his damn tyre and then going to Sam's and getting another tyre. I had to wear my special grubby outfit, which did not improve matters. Trey noted when I went to get the keys from him that I wasn't dressed very nicely, at which I gave him a Look- - - I, was On a Mission. By the way, if you want to tell if someone Really Loves you, get a flat tyre. If they help you, they love you lots. If they change it for you, they really, really love you lots. If they change it for you, and then spend their Saturday in Sam's getting another tyre put on your car, it does not get any better than that.
Other than Trey's Moments of Brilliance, we have done a few interesting things; the main thing is that I got the job I wanted at Alpharetta High School, which is a beautiful new modern building with beautiful students and I am just delighted and we are going to have to move to Alpharetta because it is like on the other side of the world literally and figuratively. God it is so far away! And I did find houses in my price range in that area on the web. So I will have to see. Trey is not enthused about moving to Alpharetta but tough for him.
We went to court vs. Ola, who showed up in court and claimed several times that Sheridan and I were "playing games with the cats" to harass her, which made me laugh. I had this mental picture of Sheridan and I trying very patiently to teach the cats how to play chess and the cats looking bored and disgusted. Ola continued to allege that we were picking mortar out of her bricks and at night we crept up to her door and bothered her. As if I don't have better things to do, like play with my theremin or play the piano. So the judge continued the restraining orders.
O we also went to the Chattanooga aquarium, which has a new part to it, an ocean part, and it was fantastic. Trey only threw a very small fit when I went to Liz Claiborne outlet store on the way back.
And we went to see the Peking Acrobats, because Saniel didn't want to go for some reason. He had been given complimentary tickets but I think they were fighting, so they didn't go, and it was fabulous.
The reason I know this is because this week we fixed Trey's transmission (Yay!) Doesn't that sound all manly and complicated and impressive? Betcha didn't think someone who gets really, really excited about making curtains and the Semi-Annual sale at Bath and Body works could do things like that. Now I'll ruin it by telling you what we did: the problem was that the transmission was leaking, and if it had just been a few drops here and there that would have been one thing but it was like a quart a day. It was leaking fluid, by the way, for those of you (Trey) who think the car magically turns petrol into Magic Pixie Dust and that's what makes the car move. So we took the wheels off, and jacked up the car, and looked underneath to see what it was, and lo and behold it looked like the gasket around the pan was leaking. Now the old Cutlass had an oil leak and then I started reading the directions and it said lift the engine out of the cradle- for that car to change the OIL you had to lift the engine out of the cradle, it was a stupid design- but this looked easy to change. Trey complained incessantly about this. He didn't want to do it, it was hot, it wasn't the right day, he didn't want to, it was hot, etc. (I am thinking a very politically incorrect thing here) Then I discovered I didn't have the right socket so I had to go to Sears to buy a socket set. Trey refused to come. When I returned, I handed the socket I thought was correct to Trey. It doesn't fit, he said. It's too small. I handed him another, different size. It doesn't fit, he said. It's too small. I tried again. It doesn't fit, he said, it's too small. So I got under the car to see- and it turned out Super Genius was putting the WRONG END OF THE SOCKET onto the bolts. He was putting the end that is supposed to go in the socket wrench ionto the bolts instead of the nut hole (I wonder if someone will google that) . So I helped him, and then we managed to put the new gasket and filter and pan back on etc. We were going to do the brakes but Super Genius Trey doesn't know how to use a wrench and bobbled it all around the head of the caliper bolt and rounded off the head.
O Trey had another Super Genius moment this weekend on Saturday, he had a flat tyre on the way to work and immediately asserted that there was no spare wheel in the back. Of course there is, I said, it's on the side underneath a plastic cover. Trey couldn't find it (because he is an airhead) and went to work, leaving me with the delights of changing his damn tyre and then going to Sam's and getting another tyre. I had to wear my special grubby outfit, which did not improve matters. Trey noted when I went to get the keys from him that I wasn't dressed very nicely, at which I gave him a Look- - - I, was On a Mission. By the way, if you want to tell if someone Really Loves you, get a flat tyre. If they help you, they love you lots. If they change it for you, they really, really love you lots. If they change it for you, and then spend their Saturday in Sam's getting another tyre put on your car, it does not get any better than that.
Other than Trey's Moments of Brilliance, we have done a few interesting things; the main thing is that I got the job I wanted at Alpharetta High School, which is a beautiful new modern building with beautiful students and I am just delighted and we are going to have to move to Alpharetta because it is like on the other side of the world literally and figuratively. God it is so far away! And I did find houses in my price range in that area on the web. So I will have to see. Trey is not enthused about moving to Alpharetta but tough for him.
We went to court vs. Ola, who showed up in court and claimed several times that Sheridan and I were "playing games with the cats" to harass her, which made me laugh. I had this mental picture of Sheridan and I trying very patiently to teach the cats how to play chess and the cats looking bored and disgusted. Ola continued to allege that we were picking mortar out of her bricks and at night we crept up to her door and bothered her. As if I don't have better things to do, like play with my theremin or play the piano. So the judge continued the restraining orders.
O we also went to the Chattanooga aquarium, which has a new part to it, an ocean part, and it was fantastic. Trey only threw a very small fit when I went to Liz Claiborne outlet store on the way back.
And we went to see the Peking Acrobats, because Saniel didn't want to go for some reason. He had been given complimentary tickets but I think they were fighting, so they didn't go, and it was fabulous.
posted by SavageATL at 5:44 PM
2 Comments:
Alpharetta! That word alone makes me think that you're going to be in such a better neighborhood (but I guess seeing is believing). Congrats!
And BTW, in America we spell it tire. ...Oh, that's right--you were born and raised here, so you already know.
Ahem, I just heard that hold music, and it's the BEST ever! It's like midi!
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