A Safer Post

This time I'm going to gossip about people who don't read my blog, because sometimes when the people who read my blog are mentioned in it, they are not really happy about this. Go figure. (just kidding) So next time, we are going to have to change the names of the people we are gossiping about. Let's see how that works.

First I want to note a couple of work related things. One is that on Friday, as a warm up to the current lesson in first year which is about Things I Like to Do, one girl said as we were going around the room, "I like to pierce myself!" This I found very disturbing. You mean you do it YOURSELF? I asked. Yes! she replied, I have 16 piercings! O dear, I thought, Doesn't it hurt? I asked? No, not really, she replied. I was disturbed, of course; I thought self-piercing was one of those drunken redneck guy things to do- and she seems awfully sweet to be a drunken redneck guy. Then they wanted to know did I have any piercings. NO! I said; I have enough holes in my body standard equipment, and I don't have any tattoos, either. I don't think most piercings are tremendously attractive, beyond a couple of holes in the ear. I think that facial piercings always look like you had a tragic accident in a hardware store. You could make it a Reader's Digest Very Special Story. "It was an ordinary Wednesday morning when Cindy arrived at work at JoLeen's Small Pointy Metal Objects Boutique. Great, she thought as she walked in, the night shift didn't restock. Little did she know the horrifying course that day would take. . . Get down! yelled Herman Perez, who had just realised that the propane tank a customer brought in had a faulty valve. He lunged forward, saving Cindy's life, but pushing her face directly into a bin of Small Pointy Metal Objects JoLeen had marked down . . . The piercings, the paramedics said, were the worst case in the tri-county area they had ever seen. Although this brave young lady still bears the scars of her tragedy, she thanks God and Herman for saving her life that day. I may not look exactly like I used to, she says, pointing to the bits of metal protruding from her eyebrow, nostrils, tongue, lip, nipples, and web between her right thumb and forefinger, but God gives me the courage to go on."
Also let me point out that this same girl came in today with this FABULOUS hair cut. She looks much older, which is making me suspicious- she must be trying to get into 21 and up clubs, and probably succeding, based on the sophistication of her haircut. I don't know that that is a Good Thing, though, but if she were wearing a suit someone would probably nominate her to the Supreme Court.
What exactly is the appeal of a tattoo nowadays? I thought that it was supposed to make the statement that you are Cool and a Rebel or whatever but even dorky people get them now, and a lot of them get sort of dorky tattoos, like a yin/yang symbol. EVERYONE has that. Get something different, at least. Probably the worst is the people who get their names tattooed on their body, as though they're going to forget- O, geez, what's my name again? Thank goodness I have it tattooed on my arm! That's right, I'm Quindavious. The second worst is when people get their significant other's name tattooed on their body. That has some rationale behind it but if you can't remember your significant other's name, you should be having better sex and screaming it. And if you want to do something nice for them, use the money to buy them something nice.
The other work-related thing is that we have a new innovation. You may not realise this from reading my blog, but I do not suffer fools gladly- I have much experience in the field, but I still can't bring myself to gladly yet. So now when the kids ask a stupid question, which means like if I haven't announced a quiz and don't plan on one, they ask them when I hand them worksheets, Is this a quiz? And I say yes, and then they say, No it's not, and then I say, well, I lied." But now when they ask stupid questions, I have the Spoon of Stupidity. (it was what I had on hand at the time) and I point it at the offender and I say, beep beep beep. Next I think we will be equipped with the Tape Dispenser of Making Obnoxious Noise.

I was going to write about these two people that also have one of those um, 13 letter adjective starting with "dys" relationships but it is late. I will do it tomorrow.