You Is A Bitch

I actually try very hard not to bitch

You don't try hard enough. Do you try not to whine? I think it's more important to avoid whining than bitching.

The above lines were excerpted from an email. I am being accused of bitching all the time! I have to say this in my defense; all instances of bitching are 110% justified. Ok? Get over it.

Let me give you three fairly recent instances of bitching and see what you think.

Tuesday because the LSAT class had a test Saturday, I had no LSAT class, so I came home early to snuggle with Trey. Then he is getting dressed to get ready for work, and his jeans have huge holes right under his ass! Not to mention they're emo jeans. They leave NOTHING to the imagination. Which is- well, it's not really fine- but pick your battles. He definitely cannot wear jeans to work, representing this company, in which he looks like the sleazy man-whore member of the Village People.
I tell him he can't wear those jeans to work. They're not right.
Now instead of saying Yes, dear, and changing, Trey does not want to do this! He complains, and says he has nothing to wear (this is a tiresome lie; he has at least 300 pairs of jeans everywhere). See, I do not want him to get fired, so - - - bitching ensues.

Then yesterday, I come home and Trey offers me some okra he has left over from the chicken wings he had for dinner. I neglect to mention the part about how he ate all the meat and gives me the scraps- see how I justly feel put upon? and say fine. He's - - trying, I suppose. Then he goes to the dresser- where some of his clothes are- and pulls the okra out of THE DRESSER DRAWER.
Why would he put it there? Why would anyone put it there? We already have what I refer to as a "bug problem" the way Bush administration officials refer to as "instability in Iraq". I do not understand this. Bitching ensues.

Or my brother. He wanted to fix his brakes- and since I was nicely dressed that day, I did not want to get dirty so I offered to consult and give useful advice. Alex, it turns out, has bought a BOTTLE JACK to jack up his car with. That is a little tiny thing that will tip over if you jack up your car with it. I've never actually seen anyone use one.
I try to explain that if you use this, the car will fall on your fool head.
Alex is, somewhat unsurprisingly, immune to this line of reasoning. No, he says, and gets more stubborn for some reason. It's will imposition, he claims.
This is a lie. If I were going to impose my will on people, there are a number of people I can think of whom I would impose my will on to HAVE a car fall on their heads, or better yet, something like an aircraft carrier.
I have been working on various awful cars for the last 15 years or so, I should, and do, know better; Alex once insisted that the coolant drained from the radiator from the top, thereby defying all laws of gravity.

I think we know the outcome.

Much bitching ensued.