What I Did in Florida
Cruella, where have you been? Are you ever coming back, or what?
Yah well I went to Nashville to see "Robin" and then we all of a sudden (well, he all of a sudden) decided to take a week's vacation and go to Florida. So after establishing that this would not cause my personal bankers to call an emergency debit-card-ectomy on me, we went.
But first I had to do this:
And the Lobsters, although quickly both dead and delicious, exacted their revenge by making the water in the pot overflow which broke "Robin"s" oven. Again. So I did not make Lobster Thermidor but just boiled Lobsters and the Clafoutis didn't happen either.
Well he seemed pleased with his birthday/anniversary (?) presents- a cross, another shell necklace and bracelet and a breadmaker. I also got him balloons and candles and a banner, which made him really happy. No one had ever done this for him before.
We went to St. Augustine, and took a hearse tour, which was a RIPOFF! Those ghost tours are not worth it! The worst part was that the guide asked us -
"What have you been doing since you came to St. Augustine? Walking around, right, just- walking around? Well, that's because the ancient Mayans came here from South America thousands of years ago and just walked around because of the laylines."
This I was not prepared to succumb to believing. The ancient Mayans didn't live in South America, didn't have boats that could go hundreds of miles, and wouldn't have ended up in St. Augustine anyway. He also chided us for being too quiet, but my attitude was I paid 25 smacks so YOU are supposed to entertain us. The tour involved walking around with a thing with lights like a stud finder and looking for ghosts. I would have enjoyed it had he told some good stories, but he didn't, it was some cockamamie muck.
Well, and then we went to Orlando to see SeaWorld and then we went to Tampa and then we went back to St. Augustine and then we went through Savannah and ate at Paula Deen's restaurant and then we came home.
Well a Bad Thing that happened was the car got broken into and the GPS ("Robin"'s GPS) got stolen. 16 cars got broken into. Also the thieves stole a bag of, um, TOYS, from the car which they later abandoned; the police lady was very interested in the toys. She almost looked straight, btw.
"We found something that looked like tools, in a zipper case," she said, "what are they for?"
I thought I would let it go at "toys" but she was rather insistent, and so I described how they are (theoretically) used, because we really didn't play much, which disappointed me.
When I described their use, it did not sound erotic at all. I apparently do not have a future in porn writing, which "Robin" can confirm for you.
Now the GPS being stolen. I just- did not like it. I am old fashioned as y'all know, and on a somewhat unrelated note I might be becoming bionic because yesterday I pulled a rather impressive piece of wood/stick/straw out of my arm? I got attacked by a bookcase (at least that's what I'm claiming) several weeks ago and had a large wound on my arm which has been healing but the wound was getting somewhat bumpy and i squeezed it and this piece of stick pops out of my arm. Isn't that disgusting? So I might be becoming bionic, only instead of having mechanically aided superpowers, I'm turning into a tree? That's disturbing.
Anyway so the GPS, I did not like it because I am perfectly used to navigating by maps. I can understand maps; maps are my friends. I can see where I want to go and connect the dots in between.
Buyt the GPS is not my friend. It unnerved me, because I have so recently learnt to IGNORE disembodied voices. (ha). I don't like that it talks! I find that very disturbing, I can handle machines beeping but not talking. Also I found it gave useless instructions, like turn left in 0.4 miles. That is not helpful to me, because I cannot conceive of 0.4 miles; as many people know, I can estimate neither time nor distance.
Well that is not entirely true; I can estimate distance. But I estimate it as:
Distance I would walk in bad weather if I didn't particularly have to.
Distance I would walk in bad weather if I had to.
Distance I would walk in good weather if I didn't particularly have to.
Distance I would walk in good weather if I had to (about from here to Wal-Mart).
Distance I would walk in good weather if I am extremely angry.
From home to Georgia State
From home to Alpharetta
From home to "Robin"'s house
Mexico.
The GPS doesn't give directions like that, which my directions tend to be "Turn left at the checkers and then go to such and such a street."
And I forgot to point out earlier, we now have a song, or two songs rather; We discovered we both like Van Halen, which is really cool! But "Robin" sang this song which I thought was just the sweetest thing EVER, - (how corny am I?)
and then we both love Elvis' version of Bridge Over Troubled Water. No wussy hippie stuff!
Other highlights: People (not me, because "Robin" doesn't allow anyone around him to drink,) behaving badly.
a three and a half year old girl going round to all the tables in a restaurant and climbing up on the tables, leaning into the candle, and very carefully spitting on the candles to make them go out.
a group of teenagers with an older gentlemen who came from the beach into one of those t-shirt stores and proceeded to wipe the sand/water off of themselves with the store's t-shirts-
And I know I am not supposed to do this but I can't help it.
So the car of a certain person I know needed service so she is concerned that the mechanic will steal the money she has hidden throughout the car. I do not know why she does this. It makes even less sense when you consider she never pays for anything anyway, but makes someone else do it (she always repays them though). So we go to clean out the car, and I want a plastic carrier bag to throw the rubbish away in. She has got piles and piles of old newspapers and garbage in the car.
The first carrier bag she finds is unacceptable because it contains used napkins which she is saving for reuse. That's all I really need to tell you about that.
Then she refused to let me throw away the old newspapers from the car.
Now the other thing was that I bought a lot of food to take up and visit Robin and cook, but I didn't cook all of it. Normally I do two weeks worth of cooking and then he has leftovers for the next week, but we went to Florida. So I bring her the potatoes, which admittedly have probably got frequent-flyer miles by now from going back and forth- if you could get frequent flyer miles by car.
Then I come to help her with the car. The potatoes are all over the ground outside.
O they all went bad, is it? I ask.
No, she says, only some of them went bad, but the rest are "airing out."
eww.
Yah well I went to Nashville to see "Robin" and then we all of a sudden (well, he all of a sudden) decided to take a week's vacation and go to Florida. So after establishing that this would not cause my personal bankers to call an emergency debit-card-ectomy on me, we went.
But first I had to do this:
And the Lobsters, although quickly both dead and delicious, exacted their revenge by making the water in the pot overflow which broke "Robin"s" oven. Again. So I did not make Lobster Thermidor but just boiled Lobsters and the Clafoutis didn't happen either.
Well he seemed pleased with his birthday/anniversary (?) presents- a cross, another shell necklace and bracelet and a breadmaker. I also got him balloons and candles and a banner, which made him really happy. No one had ever done this for him before.
We went to St. Augustine, and took a hearse tour, which was a RIPOFF! Those ghost tours are not worth it! The worst part was that the guide asked us -
"What have you been doing since you came to St. Augustine? Walking around, right, just- walking around? Well, that's because the ancient Mayans came here from South America thousands of years ago and just walked around because of the laylines."
This I was not prepared to succumb to believing. The ancient Mayans didn't live in South America, didn't have boats that could go hundreds of miles, and wouldn't have ended up in St. Augustine anyway. He also chided us for being too quiet, but my attitude was I paid 25 smacks so YOU are supposed to entertain us. The tour involved walking around with a thing with lights like a stud finder and looking for ghosts. I would have enjoyed it had he told some good stories, but he didn't, it was some cockamamie muck.
Well, and then we went to Orlando to see SeaWorld and then we went to Tampa and then we went back to St. Augustine and then we went through Savannah and ate at Paula Deen's restaurant and then we came home.
Well a Bad Thing that happened was the car got broken into and the GPS ("Robin"'s GPS) got stolen. 16 cars got broken into. Also the thieves stole a bag of, um, TOYS, from the car which they later abandoned; the police lady was very interested in the toys. She almost looked straight, btw.
"We found something that looked like tools, in a zipper case," she said, "what are they for?"
I thought I would let it go at "toys" but she was rather insistent, and so I described how they are (theoretically) used, because we really didn't play much, which disappointed me.
When I described their use, it did not sound erotic at all. I apparently do not have a future in porn writing, which "Robin" can confirm for you.
Now the GPS being stolen. I just- did not like it. I am old fashioned as y'all know, and on a somewhat unrelated note I might be becoming bionic because yesterday I pulled a rather impressive piece of wood/stick/straw out of my arm? I got attacked by a bookcase (at least that's what I'm claiming) several weeks ago and had a large wound on my arm which has been healing but the wound was getting somewhat bumpy and i squeezed it and this piece of stick pops out of my arm. Isn't that disgusting? So I might be becoming bionic, only instead of having mechanically aided superpowers, I'm turning into a tree? That's disturbing.
Anyway so the GPS, I did not like it because I am perfectly used to navigating by maps. I can understand maps; maps are my friends. I can see where I want to go and connect the dots in between.
Buyt the GPS is not my friend. It unnerved me, because I have so recently learnt to IGNORE disembodied voices. (ha). I don't like that it talks! I find that very disturbing, I can handle machines beeping but not talking. Also I found it gave useless instructions, like turn left in 0.4 miles. That is not helpful to me, because I cannot conceive of 0.4 miles; as many people know, I can estimate neither time nor distance.
Well that is not entirely true; I can estimate distance. But I estimate it as:
Distance I would walk in bad weather if I didn't particularly have to.
Distance I would walk in bad weather if I had to.
Distance I would walk in good weather if I didn't particularly have to.
Distance I would walk in good weather if I had to (about from here to Wal-Mart).
Distance I would walk in good weather if I am extremely angry.
From home to Georgia State
From home to Alpharetta
From home to "Robin"'s house
Mexico.
The GPS doesn't give directions like that, which my directions tend to be "Turn left at the checkers and then go to such and such a street."
And I forgot to point out earlier, we now have a song, or two songs rather; We discovered we both like Van Halen, which is really cool! But "Robin" sang this song which I thought was just the sweetest thing EVER, - (how corny am I?)
and then we both love Elvis' version of Bridge Over Troubled Water. No wussy hippie stuff!
Other highlights: People (not me, because "Robin" doesn't allow anyone around him to drink,) behaving badly.
a three and a half year old girl going round to all the tables in a restaurant and climbing up on the tables, leaning into the candle, and very carefully spitting on the candles to make them go out.
a group of teenagers with an older gentlemen who came from the beach into one of those t-shirt stores and proceeded to wipe the sand/water off of themselves with the store's t-shirts-
And I know I am not supposed to do this but I can't help it.
So the car of a certain person I know needed service so she is concerned that the mechanic will steal the money she has hidden throughout the car. I do not know why she does this. It makes even less sense when you consider she never pays for anything anyway, but makes someone else do it (she always repays them though). So we go to clean out the car, and I want a plastic carrier bag to throw the rubbish away in. She has got piles and piles of old newspapers and garbage in the car.
The first carrier bag she finds is unacceptable because it contains used napkins which she is saving for reuse. That's all I really need to tell you about that.
Then she refused to let me throw away the old newspapers from the car.
Now the other thing was that I bought a lot of food to take up and visit Robin and cook, but I didn't cook all of it. Normally I do two weeks worth of cooking and then he has leftovers for the next week, but we went to Florida. So I bring her the potatoes, which admittedly have probably got frequent-flyer miles by now from going back and forth- if you could get frequent flyer miles by car.
Then I come to help her with the car. The potatoes are all over the ground outside.
O they all went bad, is it? I ask.
No, she says, only some of them went bad, but the rest are "airing out."
eww.
posted by SavageATL at 9:33 PM
2 Comments:
I never said I don't allow people not to drink around me. I don't like for you to drink around because you say nasty things when you drunk!
Your point of view would be correct. You DO allow people to drink around you; I am not sure what nasty things I said when I was drunk but that is quite likely. I did say, or rather, sing, "blah blah blah bloo blooo blooooo," the last time.
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