Senior Superlatives
Y'all, I am just slap out of motivation these days, I do not have one single bit left to study or prepare or do anything. It is so sad.
I understand there are senior superlatives for law school, but what the categories actually are, I do not know. Like I bothered to find out!
But I am going to propose some new categories:
Most likely to have skid marks
Most likely to have a law enacted specifically in response to one of his/her crimes
Most likely to sleep with a senior managing partner
Most likely to sleep with a midlevel associate
Most likely to sleep with the Fed-Ex man
Most likely to sexually harass junior associates
Most likely to run ads on late night tv.
Most likely to start some long incomprehensible political scandal
Most likely to start some comprehensible political scandal involving three hookers (one of them transvestite), the Star-lite motel, gerbils, Orajel, a Black and Decker Power Sander, and a Pentacostal preacher
Most likely to go to rehab
Most likely to hook up in rehab
Most likely to marry Holly Hobbie
Most likely to write a memo for the government endorsing torture
Most likely to be a picture perfect couple whose children end up in therapy for the rest of their lives
Most likely to own vacation homes in the Ozarks
Most likely to develop a survivalist camp with a hemp based economy and guns
Most likely to quit lawyering to write really terrible novels that make piles of money
Most likely to quit lawyering to write really dry academic treatises that make no money at all
Most likely to wake up one day as a law professor and find they have turned into Stephens
Most likely to wake up one day as a law professor and find they have turned into Girth
Most likely to use the phrase, "if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit"
Most likely to use the phrase, "I never had sex with that woman."
Most likely to use the phrase, "I didn't have the required mens rea to stick it ALL the way up there."
Most likely to go on television to yell at stupid people
Most likely to go home and yell at stupid people
Most likely to wander the streets of downtown yelling at stupid people
Most likely to be thrown out of court for not using his inside voice
Most likely to commit barratry
Most likely to commit champetry
Most likely to commit arson
Most likely to replace Raymond Burr in a "Perry Mason" remake
Most likely to replace Calista Flockhart in an "Ally McBeal" remake
Most likely to replace Roy Cohn in a "Sleazy Homosexual Government Lawyers" remake
I understand there are senior superlatives for law school, but what the categories actually are, I do not know. Like I bothered to find out!
But I am going to propose some new categories:
Most likely to have skid marks
Most likely to have a law enacted specifically in response to one of his/her crimes
Most likely to sleep with a senior managing partner
Most likely to sleep with a midlevel associate
Most likely to sleep with the Fed-Ex man
Most likely to sexually harass junior associates
Most likely to run ads on late night tv.
Most likely to start some long incomprehensible political scandal
Most likely to start some comprehensible political scandal involving three hookers (one of them transvestite), the Star-lite motel, gerbils, Orajel, a Black and Decker Power Sander, and a Pentacostal preacher
Most likely to go to rehab
Most likely to hook up in rehab
Most likely to marry Holly Hobbie
Most likely to write a memo for the government endorsing torture
Most likely to be a picture perfect couple whose children end up in therapy for the rest of their lives
Most likely to own vacation homes in the Ozarks
Most likely to develop a survivalist camp with a hemp based economy and guns
Most likely to quit lawyering to write really terrible novels that make piles of money
Most likely to quit lawyering to write really dry academic treatises that make no money at all
Most likely to wake up one day as a law professor and find they have turned into Stephens
Most likely to wake up one day as a law professor and find they have turned into Girth
Most likely to use the phrase, "if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit"
Most likely to use the phrase, "I never had sex with that woman."
Most likely to use the phrase, "I didn't have the required mens rea to stick it ALL the way up there."
Most likely to go on television to yell at stupid people
Most likely to go home and yell at stupid people
Most likely to wander the streets of downtown yelling at stupid people
Most likely to be thrown out of court for not using his inside voice
Most likely to commit barratry
Most likely to commit champetry
Most likely to commit arson
Most likely to replace Raymond Burr in a "Perry Mason" remake
Most likely to replace Calista Flockhart in an "Ally McBeal" remake
Most likely to replace Roy Cohn in a "Sleazy Homosexual Government Lawyers" remake
posted by SavageATL at 1:07 PM
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