My Day Continued
Well, My Day was a hit, apparently, Ed made it into a audio thingy which of course I cannot listen to. 'Cause I'm at work, and stuff? And then Alex actually SAID he liked it.
So we'll continue.
Prayer for Today: Please God, don't ever let me dress like a bus driver.
I have another idea for a remake of a movie. Dominique should be in "The Sound of Music" only the admiral decides to bomb the nunnery after "Maria" "teaches" the children to "sing" Alouette. The song "How do you solve a problem like Maria" now includes the lines "When she sings/flowers wilt/When she sings/milk is spilt"
Diane and Olivier shout at each other about hawking loogies at each other. Olivier claims to have evidence of this on his shirt. "It's sticky!" He says. "Well, you'll have something to remember her by." I tell him.
This week, Rose is "working at the car wash!" This seems to be the only part of the song she knows, so she randomly and repeatedly shrieks this all through class. I decide not to point out to her that A) the song is about whores and B) if she continues on the path she has chosen, "working at the car wash" is an inevitability. Yes, you are, Rose, I tell her. Working at the car wash! We got it! Very nice!
Also Aline comes to detention and forgets why she had to come to detention, but I discover that if I say O! O! O! randomly, she TOTALLY freaks out. I intend to practice this in the remaining two weeks.
In 3rd period, Andre wants a band-aid. No, I say. "I want to go to the clinic!" He says. "I'm bleeding all over the place."
I look. He's NOT bleeding anywhere. He already has a band-aid, which he is pulling off to show me his non-bleeding, non-oozing wound.
"I'm going to get AIDS and HPV everywhere, all over your desk!" he insists.
Luckily some other student says it before I have to. "You have AIDS?" they ask.
"Yes!" Says Andre.
I decide NOT to go there; I was almost going to ask him did he also have genital warts and then realised- - - I so do not want to go there.
Marguerite wants to go to the bathroom, but instead of saying so, she says, "Je voudrais aller au cinema, s'il vous plait?" Now we have a new euphemism for using the toilet, like spend a penny or powder my nose. All of the students make fun of her after this.
Daniel has some thought which he refuses to share with us. All the other students want to know more details. "Is it racist?" "Is it sexual?" This makes me think of 20 questions with Danny's inappropriate thought. "Let's play 20 questions with Daniel's thought!" I tell the class. "Is it an animal? Is it a vegetable? Is it a mineral? Is it a vegetable and an animal?"
The whole class cracks up. "Est-ce que Marguerite veut aller au cinema avec une legume?"
Also Jules gets dragged back into class by another teacher- it was odd because although she wasn't actually dragging him by his ear, that's what I saw- because when he asked to go to the loo, he was making out with his girlfriend in the hall.
I tell Leon to move in 4th period, because he won't shut up, as usual. He tells me to "suck my nuts" so I write him up. The other students all want to know if I wrote that on the referral. I hope they actually do something to him. He is an Angry Persian, which would make a good movie, or a character on SNL. I'm Angry! I'm Persian! (which really is Iranian except I suppose they don't like being called that anymore). Oh, and then the AP sends me back this email-
Mr. Cruella, when I saw the write-up on S. Student, I was shocked. The student has never had a write-up before, tardy referral or anything before. Consequently, I interviewed him and others from the class to verify what he said to you. They said that he said “You’re nuts.” I spoke to the students individually, have no reason to believe that they had conspired before as to give me bad information.
I gave student a SOS school for next weekend.
So now you're believing him over me, great.
We are doing advertisements in the other classes with reflexive verbs. One of the groups in 6th period has come up with an advertisement for a razor which has an emo person cutting himself/herself. This strikes me as something I should probably stop, but then again, I don't really care.
In 6th period, first Marc calls me "Daddy" which I fiercely object to, and then we have a smiling contest.
Also we are watching a video in which a French teenager is showing us the house in which he lives with his family. "Who is that man in the kitchen? Andree asks. Why is he in their kitchen?
He's the father! I tell her. No, he's just some strange man hanging around their house.
He's going to rape the teenager! Says Chantal.
This makes me laugh. No, I tell Chantal, you have to get the director's cut of these videos for that. You want to see the director's cut.
For some reason, this makes Chantal sulk for the rest of the class.
Trey is very concerned because he has heard somewhere, he does not know where, that the world will end in 2012.
"Because the sun might throw off fireballs or get close to the earth and burn us up!" he tells me.
His science seems a little sketchy.
No, that's not how it works, I tell him, the world isn't going to end. Whatever theory this is based on is too insane to actually combat so I pick the worst pieces.
The sun is billions of miles away from us, I tell him, It isn't going to blow up or whatever.
This takes a moment to register. Trey looks extremely cute when thinking hard about things.
Doesn't the sun change? he asks.
Well, it changes, I say, and yes, it can flare up, but - do you know how the sun works? I ask
And cutest of all is when Trey's trains of thought hit a dead end. It works by- the sun works by- and then he realises he doesn' t know.
Well, it's two gases, I tell him, and it works by nuclear fusion, Hydrogen fuses to make helium.
Oh! Says Trey. He looks unbelievably adorable. But can't you separate the gases?
No, because of gravity, I tell him.
Why is the sun made of gas, he asks me.
That's what the universe is made of, I tell him. There are planets also made out of gas.
Trey never knew this; well, it is fairly esoteric information. Jupiter Neptune Uranus and Saturn are all made out of gas. Especially Uranus (ha, I could not help it.)
Alex, as we discover, is not as dismissive of the idea that the world might end in 2012 as one might hope. He even knows the date that (crackpots) have predicted this.
December 12, 2012, he says. The Mayans said this.
O really, I said and how do we know this? We can't read their writings or anything.
Alex seems to think we can. They have a Rosetta stone, they can read it, he says.
I laugh derisively. You don't know what the Rosetta Stone is, do you?
Champollion discovered it in the 19th century, and it had the same text in hieroglyphics and ancient Greek and Hebrew so they could interpret the hieroglyphics. Why I can remember things like this, but not remember what I did yesterday, I don't know.
Also he bought a light fixture for his carport which takes some very bizarre bulb and do you think he bought the bulbs for it? No he did not. Even though the box says in big letters, bulbs not included, and it explains exactly what sort of bulb it needs.
So kiddies, that is what happens to people who don't have a television. They learn things.
Anyway, in other subjects:
I am so done with school. I am handing out packets and they are watching movies while doing the review packets for the remaining two weeks, I think. I just do not want to do anything anymore.
No, that is a lie. There are plenty of things that I want to do, none of them involve shrieking at teenagers though. So I am trying to end the term without having an aneurysm. The things I want to do are: Make beer; it is that time again! This year I'm going to try more hybrid beers; last year the gooseberry beer was very tasty, so I think I will do some beers with a fruit wine base, honey, 5-8 lbs of light malt extract, light hops, champagne yeast, and some seasonings. Then of course I'm going to make the Grand National flavoured beer again. It tastes just like the car!
Then I like the one Buick so much I would really love another and have my eye on a Turbo Riviera in Ohio. It's much less expensive than the GN but I'm sure it will be a lot of fun also.
Also I would like to go to Boston and visit the Mavis and Jerome. That would be fun.
So we'll continue.
Prayer for Today: Please God, don't ever let me dress like a bus driver.
I have another idea for a remake of a movie. Dominique should be in "The Sound of Music" only the admiral decides to bomb the nunnery after "Maria" "teaches" the children to "sing" Alouette. The song "How do you solve a problem like Maria" now includes the lines "When she sings/flowers wilt/When she sings/milk is spilt"
Diane and Olivier shout at each other about hawking loogies at each other. Olivier claims to have evidence of this on his shirt. "It's sticky!" He says. "Well, you'll have something to remember her by." I tell him.
This week, Rose is "working at the car wash!" This seems to be the only part of the song she knows, so she randomly and repeatedly shrieks this all through class. I decide not to point out to her that A) the song is about whores and B) if she continues on the path she has chosen, "working at the car wash" is an inevitability. Yes, you are, Rose, I tell her. Working at the car wash! We got it! Very nice!
Also Aline comes to detention and forgets why she had to come to detention, but I discover that if I say O! O! O! randomly, she TOTALLY freaks out. I intend to practice this in the remaining two weeks.
In 3rd period, Andre wants a band-aid. No, I say. "I want to go to the clinic!" He says. "I'm bleeding all over the place."
I look. He's NOT bleeding anywhere. He already has a band-aid, which he is pulling off to show me his non-bleeding, non-oozing wound.
"I'm going to get AIDS and HPV everywhere, all over your desk!" he insists.
Luckily some other student says it before I have to. "You have AIDS?" they ask.
"Yes!" Says Andre.
I decide NOT to go there; I was almost going to ask him did he also have genital warts and then realised- - - I so do not want to go there.
Marguerite wants to go to the bathroom, but instead of saying so, she says, "Je voudrais aller au cinema, s'il vous plait?" Now we have a new euphemism for using the toilet, like spend a penny or powder my nose. All of the students make fun of her after this.
Daniel has some thought which he refuses to share with us. All the other students want to know more details. "Is it racist?" "Is it sexual?" This makes me think of 20 questions with Danny's inappropriate thought. "Let's play 20 questions with Daniel's thought!" I tell the class. "Is it an animal? Is it a vegetable? Is it a mineral? Is it a vegetable and an animal?"
The whole class cracks up. "Est-ce que Marguerite veut aller au cinema avec une legume?"
Also Jules gets dragged back into class by another teacher- it was odd because although she wasn't actually dragging him by his ear, that's what I saw- because when he asked to go to the loo, he was making out with his girlfriend in the hall.
I tell Leon to move in 4th period, because he won't shut up, as usual. He tells me to "suck my nuts" so I write him up. The other students all want to know if I wrote that on the referral. I hope they actually do something to him. He is an Angry Persian, which would make a good movie, or a character on SNL. I'm Angry! I'm Persian! (which really is Iranian except I suppose they don't like being called that anymore). Oh, and then the AP sends me back this email-
Mr. Cruella, when I saw the write-up on S. Student, I was shocked. The student has never had a write-up before, tardy referral or anything before. Consequently, I interviewed him and others from the class to verify what he said to you. They said that he said “You’re nuts.” I spoke to the students individually, have no reason to believe that they had conspired before as to give me bad information.
I gave student a SOS school for next weekend.
So now you're believing him over me, great.
We are doing advertisements in the other classes with reflexive verbs. One of the groups in 6th period has come up with an advertisement for a razor which has an emo person cutting himself/herself. This strikes me as something I should probably stop, but then again, I don't really care.
In 6th period, first Marc calls me "Daddy" which I fiercely object to, and then we have a smiling contest.
Also we are watching a video in which a French teenager is showing us the house in which he lives with his family. "Who is that man in the kitchen? Andree asks. Why is he in their kitchen?
He's the father! I tell her. No, he's just some strange man hanging around their house.
He's going to rape the teenager! Says Chantal.
This makes me laugh. No, I tell Chantal, you have to get the director's cut of these videos for that. You want to see the director's cut.
For some reason, this makes Chantal sulk for the rest of the class.
Trey is very concerned because he has heard somewhere, he does not know where, that the world will end in 2012.
"Because the sun might throw off fireballs or get close to the earth and burn us up!" he tells me.
His science seems a little sketchy.
No, that's not how it works, I tell him, the world isn't going to end. Whatever theory this is based on is too insane to actually combat so I pick the worst pieces.
The sun is billions of miles away from us, I tell him, It isn't going to blow up or whatever.
This takes a moment to register. Trey looks extremely cute when thinking hard about things.
Doesn't the sun change? he asks.
Well, it changes, I say, and yes, it can flare up, but - do you know how the sun works? I ask
And cutest of all is when Trey's trains of thought hit a dead end. It works by- the sun works by- and then he realises he doesn' t know.
Well, it's two gases, I tell him, and it works by nuclear fusion, Hydrogen fuses to make helium.
Oh! Says Trey. He looks unbelievably adorable. But can't you separate the gases?
No, because of gravity, I tell him.
Why is the sun made of gas, he asks me.
That's what the universe is made of, I tell him. There are planets also made out of gas.
Trey never knew this; well, it is fairly esoteric information. Jupiter Neptune Uranus and Saturn are all made out of gas. Especially Uranus (ha, I could not help it.)
Alex, as we discover, is not as dismissive of the idea that the world might end in 2012 as one might hope. He even knows the date that (crackpots) have predicted this.
December 12, 2012, he says. The Mayans said this.
O really, I said and how do we know this? We can't read their writings or anything.
Alex seems to think we can. They have a Rosetta stone, they can read it, he says.
I laugh derisively. You don't know what the Rosetta Stone is, do you?
Champollion discovered it in the 19th century, and it had the same text in hieroglyphics and ancient Greek and Hebrew so they could interpret the hieroglyphics. Why I can remember things like this, but not remember what I did yesterday, I don't know.
Also he bought a light fixture for his carport which takes some very bizarre bulb and do you think he bought the bulbs for it? No he did not. Even though the box says in big letters, bulbs not included, and it explains exactly what sort of bulb it needs.
So kiddies, that is what happens to people who don't have a television. They learn things.
Anyway, in other subjects:
I am so done with school. I am handing out packets and they are watching movies while doing the review packets for the remaining two weeks, I think. I just do not want to do anything anymore.
No, that is a lie. There are plenty of things that I want to do, none of them involve shrieking at teenagers though. So I am trying to end the term without having an aneurysm. The things I want to do are: Make beer; it is that time again! This year I'm going to try more hybrid beers; last year the gooseberry beer was very tasty, so I think I will do some beers with a fruit wine base, honey, 5-8 lbs of light malt extract, light hops, champagne yeast, and some seasonings. Then of course I'm going to make the Grand National flavoured beer again. It tastes just like the car!
Then I like the one Buick so much I would really love another and have my eye on a Turbo Riviera in Ohio. It's much less expensive than the GN but I'm sure it will be a lot of fun also.
Also I would like to go to Boston and visit the Mavis and Jerome. That would be fun.
posted by SavageATL at 2:04 PM
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