How is Cruella's Dating?

That picture kinda says it all, I go on a date and then they look in person like that.

Well, this marks - a bit over a year since Life Without Trey . It has been difficult, but let me tell you-

Oh, you know how you go to a foreign country and you see some word in their language that means something nasty/funny in our language? I finally figured out one for German, Mist, you know how your car has a "mist" setting on the wipers? In German that means manure.

Ha! Ha! Ha.

Well, Cruella, if you tell jokes like this, no wonder you have trouble.

Too bad, I have another one for you. Today for Bar/Bri I noticed we had candy, and some of the candy had Hello Kitty wrappers.

This made me happy. Ooh! Hello Kitty Candy! I said, it's Hello Kitty Flavoured!

Mechelle asked, "What does Hello Kitty taste like?'

LisaMarie objected loudly- you know you cannot go there with Cruella! she said! Do not even try it!

I coulda said, I love cats, but can't stand the fishy taste.

No, I only try to open my mouth at- let us say, opportune moments?

Anyway, I mean, I have been all busy with law school and what not, so I haven't really been Dating as much as I should have, besides, I think I want to see how this Robin thing goes, I am not as much of a trick as some people would like to think!

Yah, like they sit around and invent my bad reputation, no, I think my bad reputation is entirely of my own making.

But this is my problem. For one thing, I don't really go anywhere to meet people. As y'all know, my life consists of school, family activities, Sam's and Autozone.

No there are no cute gay guys at the Autozone I go to, so perhaps I should reconsider and go far afield. I will give you reports from each and every autozone. O! And in terms of Autozone, I made an IMPORTANT DISCOVERY.

Did you know that DIFFERENT Autozones have DIFFERENT prices for the SAME items?

Really! I discovered this because I decided to go and retrieve Moby Dick from Memorial Auto. It has been there for something like 6 weeks? I do not know why. I just wanted the A/C charged.

When I got there, it was smoking. Rick claimed this was because the heater control valve was broken.

Fine, I said, I will go fetch one. I went to Autozone on Columbia.

They did not have one but called round until they found one on Covington highway. Since I have a pathetically low threshold of boredom, I wandered around and looked at things, like what to clean the seats in Moby Dick with, and some kind of oil to put in the Park Avenue so we can sell it and it will not leak out of the valve covers. Said oil was 9.99 at Columbia Autozone.

I go to Covington highway to retrieve part.

"That's not a heater control valve," I said. And it wasn't, it didn't have the- words escaped me at the time and still do- mechanisms on top!

The man looked at it and said he didn't think it was either, but that's what the computer insisted so it was. Anyway, I discovered that the same oil at this Autozone cost $10.99! So the Autozone lady said, different Autozones charged different prices, which- I had no idea.

Anyway, I do not go to bars because I have recently been reminded that for the rest of my life I can either a) drink or b) drive but not both and y'all know how I feel about MARTA. Chittam regularly sends me reports of what smells bad on Marta. Also, there are poor people on Marta.

Not drinking and driving would seem to be a fairly obvious conclusion but you always think, o, I'll just have one, or two, and - no, this is one of those impossibilities. And let me tell you, bars are not a lot of fun, even if you are drinking, and to sit around a bar and not drink? I might as well go to the gym.

Then sometimes I might go somewhere or I might go online. In these instances, the guys that hit on me- y'all I am not looking for supermodel, 'cos I had that, although that would be nice! But they tell you they're 35- and they put up a picture- and they look fine in the picture! Then in person, see above, and you think, was that picture taken with- what, a steam-powered giant camera with the hoods and flash powder? Did they even make colour film then? Because if you are 35- you must be calculating your age in metric. Or perhaps you have been drinking embalming fluid with Keith Richards 'cos y'all both have that nasty leathery look.

Then there are the morbidly obese, which y'all know I am fascinated by fat people. I think it's some kind of asian thing. Unfortunately, they are also fascinated by me, and in a different way than I am fascinated by them, and I somehow have failed to appreciate the appeal of large amounts of pasty white sweaty blubber. No. Lolruses do not equal hot.

And then I went on this one date with one dude - like, a LONG time ago, even before Rick at Memorial auto got his hands on Moby Dick, and I liked the chap and all but he had three smelly dogs (all dogs are smelly, if you ask me) and I thought, if I sleep with him, then the dogs are likely to want to sleep with us too and that would be gross. And I thought, if this progresses, I am likely to have to put up with dogs, and he was not THAT cute. Now I have a passion for cars the way some people have a passion for dogs, but only Alex's car manages to smell bad.

So yah! The whole dating thing. I am liking Robin very much, and will tell you in great detail, and hopefully interpretive dance, about the kinds of things that we did/do, like last time he shot rubber bands at me - which hurt more than you would expect, and he put ice on me, and I made mustard.

That is the kind of excitement Cruella has on Spring Break. other people went to Puerto Vallarta and got married, or went to the Bahamas, and I went to Nashville and made and canned mustard. Also listen to what else I made:

Tacos
Pork tenderloin stuffed with blue cheese and olive tapenade
Shrimp scampi
pasta with creamy pesto sauce, green beans and potatoes
that stir-fry thing I make
two chocolate cheesecakes
Chex mix
pork with camembert sauce
French potato salad (meaning, mustard and no mayonnaise, and it shoulda had capers in it)

And I went to his thrift store and got a pair of trousers Alex is just going to HATE.
HATE. SO. MUCH.

But he lives in Nashville, which is full of - actually, not a whole lot. It's apparently wonderful if you like country music, and I should like country music, because it's like, opera themes, you know! I lost my wife, she went off and married some dude, I'm going to drink whisky- no, whisky drinking is not much part of opera. And country music has pickup trucks, which I hate, and dogs, which I strongly dislike, and not so much in the way of good singing and outfits. Except for Dolly Parton.

We are trying to figure out when we can see each other again. He was supposed to come down, but then something has come up, and now I am in the stressful part of the semester, so it may wait until finals are done and before I go to Rio.

But we had a discussion the last time I was there and it is kinda looking like - we are a committed couple- see above for the reminder of why I had to go to Nashville- and then he said perhaps this time next year he will leave (where he works) and come here. So then.

I still do miss Trey, but then I talk to him every so often and I am reminded of why I do NOT miss him. He is too much work to deal with and will never really be able to help me out. But I miss my mans.

O and I met missdoxie AND Cookie, of "Cookie and the Geese" which TOTALLY distracted me from paying attention to what they were telling us about labour and employment law. I was all like, omg! I know her! That's Miss Doxie! And she hasn't updated her website and given me anything funny to read in ages!