Blas-For-Me, Blas-For-You . . .
As previously noted, it has been flooding in Atlanta, to the point where the highways are underwater. This has caused me to be twice accused of blasphemy.
The first occasion was I told "Robin" that I'm waiting for the frogs.
"Frog legs? What frogs?" he asked.
"Those Biblical-plague frogs," I said, "although I don't really think that was much of a plague, that was kind of weak. I rather like frogs. I think it was some other sort of creature."
It's hard to effectively menace someone with a frog, and God knows I thought about it in Austria. Can you imagine being mugged with a frog? The mugger would come up and thrust the frog at you and threaten to- slap you with the frog, I suppose. Even I would not be scared. So I am thinking this is one of those mistranslations. Perhaps there could be a plague of snakes, that I would legitimately be scared of. It at least needs to bite or sting to be menacing. Locusts, sure, they eat everything. But following the water-turning-to-blood with frogs is kinda like God delegated the task that day to his bumbling yet well-meaning assistant.
Or a mistranslation, like when St. Jerome translated something about Moses into him having horns.
"That's blaspheming God," accused "Robin." Please note the redundancy.
This created a lengthy argument, but I discovered a trump card: I bet "Robin" does not know what Zorah means, and I do, so there.
Then I wrote on my Facebook: Dear God; cities are dry clean only. Do not immerse or submerge in water or severe damage may result. And Sandi accused me of blasphemy.
Well, fine, and the only somewhat morally contemptible thing I have been doing is that I have been having fun with such-a-one, and I do not know how exactly to write about this except that everyone should have the opportunity to, um. Well, I'm not going to MARRY him.
Although he still hasn't taken me up on my offer to drive around real fast and thrash on 350/370zs and then go home and lick chocolate mousse off of him. He did not seem enthused about chocolate mousse being put on him.
Well the first time, and you-know-who stuck her head in in the middle of it, and then - just ask me to show you about it in interpretive dance. I did not know my body could bend in those ways and I told him that if I end up in some sort of brace/cast I am going to tell everyone EXACTLY how it happened. It was like the Kama Sutra and Fountains of Wayne and reading Doestoyevsky and Tolstoy in the original Russian all combined. I had to wash my hair. Now he wants us, us being myself and you-know-who, both to get drunk (that can be arranged, I said) and then- I'm not sure about the rest of it, at all, on both hands, I'm like ooooh, this is- making him happy, but then ooooh, I don't think I would like that.
Let me tell you something else which irritated me extremely. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090923/ts_alt_afp/usunpoliticsclintonobama_20090923141706
First of all, is Obama doing any actual, you know, presidential things? He seems to be jetting off to visit Denmark to encourage them to give the Olympics to Chicago and apparently hobnobbing with Democratic Party has-beens rather than what Presidents do. I'm not going to comment on the title because that seems- well, that's the writer's own words, but- really? The CLINTON Global Initiative? You were a lying amoral spineless sleazeball willing to stop at nothing to get to power and derailed your Presidency by letting a fat intern fool with you. And you're somehow entitled to lead the world, despite not having solved a single problem domestically or during your presidency?
"Bill Clinton has helped improve and save the lives of millions." Who? What millions? Where? How dumb do they think we are?
That's just wrong, but even worse is:
"The global initiative reminds us of what we can each do as individuals."
ORLY? Then you wouldn't need a global initiative in the first place, would you? Even Mother Teresa was an individual working to help people etc but she had the backing of the church. There's nothing individual about this, it's - actually kinda sad, and Whatever Happened to Baby Janeish in that the Clintons just. cannot. stop. They just will not concede and get off the stage and go gently into the good golf-playing speech making and consulting tours. They're still on stage yowling hideously and refusing to cede.
They should thank their lucky stars for Texas, because without Perot they would have been sent packing back to well deserved slimy Arkansan obscurity from whence they came and Bush II took all the popularity licks for dealing with the problems Clinton never touched during his presidency, being too busy with fat interns.
I also do not want to hear about how the budget was balanced and we were in surplus. That's because Congress was controlled by Republicans from 1994 on. They write the budget. Not the president. Spending is entirely controlled by the Congress. Clinton put his finger in the political wind and sensed deep doo-doo a comin' if he didn't get on board with their reform proposals, and he ditched all the moldy old liberal ideas in favour of some kind of Bush-y moderation.
And can they really just stop pretending to even like each other? He didn't get to see his favourite member of the Obama administration? His wife? O please.
Also did you know there is a movie in which Joan Crawford appears with the Three Stooges? I did not know that. I think the Three Stooges are extremely tedious. At least for me, I can't watch stupid people hit each other over and over again. It's only interesting when intelligent people argue and then smack each other, like in "Mommie Dearest."
And I saw the Devil Wears Prada. It was excellent.
I have a whole new list of insults from a letter to Inland Revenue, which I will share with you:
pissant gas mongerer
Pauper council
Lombardy pirate banker
lackwit bumpkin
canker-blighted, toppling folly
Bunterish lickspittle
dancing whore procurer
marrow sucker
The first occasion was I told "Robin" that I'm waiting for the frogs.
"Frog legs? What frogs?" he asked.
"Those Biblical-plague frogs," I said, "although I don't really think that was much of a plague, that was kind of weak. I rather like frogs. I think it was some other sort of creature."
It's hard to effectively menace someone with a frog, and God knows I thought about it in Austria. Can you imagine being mugged with a frog? The mugger would come up and thrust the frog at you and threaten to- slap you with the frog, I suppose. Even I would not be scared. So I am thinking this is one of those mistranslations. Perhaps there could be a plague of snakes, that I would legitimately be scared of. It at least needs to bite or sting to be menacing. Locusts, sure, they eat everything. But following the water-turning-to-blood with frogs is kinda like God delegated the task that day to his bumbling yet well-meaning assistant.
Or a mistranslation, like when St. Jerome translated something about Moses into him having horns.
"That's blaspheming God," accused "Robin." Please note the redundancy.
This created a lengthy argument, but I discovered a trump card: I bet "Robin" does not know what Zorah means, and I do, so there.
Then I wrote on my Facebook: Dear God; cities are dry clean only. Do not immerse or submerge in water or severe damage may result. And Sandi accused me of blasphemy.
Well, fine, and the only somewhat morally contemptible thing I have been doing is that I have been having fun with such-a-one, and I do not know how exactly to write about this except that everyone should have the opportunity to, um. Well, I'm not going to MARRY him.
Although he still hasn't taken me up on my offer to drive around real fast and thrash on 350/370zs and then go home and lick chocolate mousse off of him. He did not seem enthused about chocolate mousse being put on him.
Well the first time, and you-know-who stuck her head in in the middle of it, and then - just ask me to show you about it in interpretive dance. I did not know my body could bend in those ways and I told him that if I end up in some sort of brace/cast I am going to tell everyone EXACTLY how it happened. It was like the Kama Sutra and Fountains of Wayne and reading Doestoyevsky and Tolstoy in the original Russian all combined. I had to wash my hair. Now he wants us, us being myself and you-know-who, both to get drunk (that can be arranged, I said) and then- I'm not sure about the rest of it, at all, on both hands, I'm like ooooh, this is- making him happy, but then ooooh, I don't think I would like that.
Let me tell you something else which irritated me extremely. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090923/ts_alt_afp/usunpoliticsclintonobama_20090923141706
First of all, is Obama doing any actual, you know, presidential things? He seems to be jetting off to visit Denmark to encourage them to give the Olympics to Chicago and apparently hobnobbing with Democratic Party has-beens rather than what Presidents do. I'm not going to comment on the title because that seems- well, that's the writer's own words, but- really? The CLINTON Global Initiative? You were a lying amoral spineless sleazeball willing to stop at nothing to get to power and derailed your Presidency by letting a fat intern fool with you. And you're somehow entitled to lead the world, despite not having solved a single problem domestically or during your presidency?
"Bill Clinton has helped improve and save the lives of millions." Who? What millions? Where? How dumb do they think we are?
That's just wrong, but even worse is:
"The global initiative reminds us of what we can each do as individuals."
ORLY? Then you wouldn't need a global initiative in the first place, would you? Even Mother Teresa was an individual working to help people etc but she had the backing of the church. There's nothing individual about this, it's - actually kinda sad, and Whatever Happened to Baby Janeish in that the Clintons just. cannot. stop. They just will not concede and get off the stage and go gently into the good golf-playing speech making and consulting tours. They're still on stage yowling hideously and refusing to cede.
They should thank their lucky stars for Texas, because without Perot they would have been sent packing back to well deserved slimy Arkansan obscurity from whence they came and Bush II took all the popularity licks for dealing with the problems Clinton never touched during his presidency, being too busy with fat interns.
I also do not want to hear about how the budget was balanced and we were in surplus. That's because Congress was controlled by Republicans from 1994 on. They write the budget. Not the president. Spending is entirely controlled by the Congress. Clinton put his finger in the political wind and sensed deep doo-doo a comin' if he didn't get on board with their reform proposals, and he ditched all the moldy old liberal ideas in favour of some kind of Bush-y moderation.
And can they really just stop pretending to even like each other? He didn't get to see his favourite member of the Obama administration? His wife? O please.
Also did you know there is a movie in which Joan Crawford appears with the Three Stooges? I did not know that. I think the Three Stooges are extremely tedious. At least for me, I can't watch stupid people hit each other over and over again. It's only interesting when intelligent people argue and then smack each other, like in "Mommie Dearest."
And I saw the Devil Wears Prada. It was excellent.
I have a whole new list of insults from a letter to Inland Revenue, which I will share with you:
pissant gas mongerer
Pauper council
Lombardy pirate banker
lackwit bumpkin
canker-blighted, toppling folly
Bunterish lickspittle
dancing whore procurer
marrow sucker
posted by SavageATL at 2:25 PM
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