Cruella Suffered an Attack of the Gout

Y'all look at the awesome cake I made for Alex! Isn't that - filthy? He was fairly emotionally distressed by this.

First of all, I was MAJORLY disappointed in the below link. I thought it would be much more interesting. Well, I think it would behttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif more impressive in person.

Also, I feel a little sad when I look at that, because I am like the world's stupidest looking dancer. There are photographs, even more damningly, on Facebook. White folks' bodies just do not do that.

O and y'all, I suffered from an Attack of the Gout, which - shut up, it wasn't funny, your big toes swell up and you can't walk. This was because of an unfortunate combination of Allergies, Alcohol, Aspirin, and Atkins.

First of all, I had/have whatever nastiness is going around now, be it a cold or allergies, I feel rotten. I had had salami and cream cheese for lunch, and then I still felt rotten, so I took my whole handful of pills and then drank some rum.

The next morning, my big toes were hugely swollen! This was TERRIBLE! Shut up, it's not funny. Really. Then I figured out that Salami has a large concentration of purines or whatever and then- that, plus alcohol, plus aspirin, = gout. Ow. And I had to hobble around like a gimp.

And more guy stupidity. So It was Amber's birthday, and my friend met us, and then he got something to eat (Taco Mac was apparently insufficient) and then he came over and I read a little more and finished my beer and went to bed.

Now Friend was in town for a funeral, so the next day he was to attend the funeral, and I was to go to work and then we were supposed to meet afterwards.

Never heard back from him. And this was a dude who made Sandi and Daniel a baby blanket for Isabella and fed-exed it to me. I didn't even have the time or opportunity to offend him.

Yes, I do realise he had other engagements but - you can't take 5 seconds to text and say, sorry, can't make it? or what?

Stupid boys.

Much to my astonishment, Amber LIKED her birthday present, even after repeated assurances by me that she didn't have to, and she didn't have to keep it.

Cruella, what did you do to Amber for her birthday?

It wasn't my doing! It was Girth-I-Tude's!

Your mink?

Yes, she did it. She also made Alex the naked lady cake.

Omg . . . what did Girth-I-Tude do?

She made Amber a piece of "conceptual art" with a mannequin head, feathers, and an empty bottle of gin.

Um. She LIKED this?

As far as I could tell! And we went to something called "FarmBurger" in Decatur which was really good, and not hugely expensive for Decatur. Here it is, so you can see a picture of it. I have been planting them in the yard, too. I have been using bottles of different heights; the intention is that they will appear to be rising out of the ground as they get closer to the street.



huh. That should help the lady across the street sell her house, and - aren't you slightly concerned that you are NEVER going to meet someone this way? It's kinda- you have a dead animal that you named and wear, and then mannequin heads coming out of the ground, now- that's just a little off putting there.

I kinda do not care. Maybe if I tried acting normal, that would work, but how long would that actually pan out?

Well, I have been planting a garden, although no rain= no plants growing, and then "Robin" came to visit for two and a half weeks, he couldn't go home because of the flooding in Nashville-

But he doesn't live in Nashville anymore?

No, he doesn't, he lives in Memphis, but he wanted to go home through Nashville.

O and let me also say, he was going on and on about being in "cheap" mode, and then he spent $180 for a pair of bicycle shorts.

Also, we went shopping, but not too much. He wanted the bicycle shorts, and then I looked around at all the bicycle stuff. They have some kind of gel and I was confused about whether you were supposed to eat it, as it was orange flavoured, or smear it on yourself, but it turned out you are supposed to eat it.

I clearly am not interested in doing anything that could involve eating gel. Yuck. Unless they are like, body shots, but that's different.

And I did finally get the Cadillac back from the Grouchy African, and it looks a right mess, because the paint doesn't match and the bumper isn't straight and he painted over the repeaters and the plastic trim bits on the bumper are primer gray and not silver-

But I have it back. Technically, since it is now visiting with Rick to get the A/C fixed- again-since all the refrigerant leaked out.

And then the last time I visited Rick, I think he was getting paid in, ah, "services" as in I went to go look for him, and he was aroudn the corner with a youngish- scantily dressed bewigged lady adjusting his fly.

Huh, I am thinking, I wonder would that work for me?