Cruella Is Trapped In Bar Prep Land

So Yah, and I am all trapped in Bar Prep Land, and I wish I had some fun things to tell you about but I have forgotten most of them.

Oh, oh, Well I went to spend Christmas with "Robin" in Nashville.

"What do you want for Christmas?" asked "Robin."

"A Fur coat," I say. I begin to imagine how much better life would be if "Robin" gave me a Fur Coat. A lot, I conclude. A LOT. I would go around thrusting it in people's faces and say, see, look what "Robin" gave me! I TOLD you I was good at "that!" And I would name it after him and remember him forever.

This fails to convince "Robin."

Well, If I'm going to buy you a fur coat, you have to buy me a diamond ring, he says. Apparently he is trying to think of something equally expensive and luxurious.

But you don't wear jewelry, I point out, you have frequently discoursed on not liking jewelry. I gave you a silver crucifix and you don't wear that!

That's because I don't want it to get lost, he says.

I can give this some credence, but not much. He had lost The Charlie Brown Christmas special by sticking it in the back of a dresser under some socks.

"I don't think men should wear fur," he then says.

I have a long argument against this which is too graphic even for me to discuss here.

O and we went to see the Nutcracker and we went to see Christmas lights. Robin lost 6 lbs, which I think is nice for him but I liked him anyway. He does look better, you can tell. But I am rather taken by his inner beauty. Also his outer beauty was not off putting so there.

Then we went to see the "Nutcracker" which was beautiful, and "Robin" announced his intent to give $1,000 to the Nashville Ballet. "O is that right," I say, "well then you can certainly buy me a fur coat."

"But that is doing good, to give money to the ballet," says "Robin."

"But it is doing MORE good, to buy me a fur coat," I say, "and also I would be ETERNALLY grateful. I would remember this FOREVER. Unlike the ballet people, who would be only moderately grateful and to them it's just another check."

This argument fails to convince "Robin." He is also somewhat off put when I tell him that I hope when I move, I can find a funeral home that is going out of business and buy all their furniture.

"I think you are going to have to get used to being single for a long time." he says.

"I LIKE that style of furniture, the conservative cherry-wood type things, and YOU have pieces like that." I point out.

"But they weren't around dead people," he observes.

I am not squicked out by dead things. I prefer used furniture, they are like, pre-antiques.

O and then Gerardo came to visit from Mexico and promptly decamped.

Anyhow and then I had a birthday and MTM and Rebecca got in a fight, and almost came to blows, which I felt was unnecessary.

Cruella, what else is going on? I heard you did something really bizarre for a "date."

Um. Yes. I actually did, this was somewhat inadvertent, but. What happened was he wanted to come over and I was in the process of making and canning soup, meaning chopping vegetables by the bucket and boiling turkey necks (that's Dee's fault for teaching me that turkey necks are edible and not just props for John Waters films) and such and then I enlisted his help in the chopping of the vegetables. . .

So for y'all's first encounter, you made him chop vegetables? Like a kitchen slave? That's weird.

Yes. I am rather aware of this. But it seems to have worked.

Also, isn't he considerably (somewhat) older than you are?

Yes, well. I think he's nice.

Nice meaning - - -

Well, in at least two ways is he nice: for one thing, instead of coming over and complaining about how awful my house looks, he actually cleaned the kitchen and the dining room, and then in the other way.

Other way meaning?

Red Bull Can. Literally.

O.

But I am a little concerned, because the other day I asked him what he was doing and he said he had just finished watching a good movie.

This rang alarm bells for me. My concept of what would be a "good" movie diverges wildly and widely from what most people think is a "good" movie.

"What movie?" I asked.

"Anaconda," he said, "it was a really good movie."

"But it's about a foam rubber snake that eats people!" I say.

"I really liked the plot!" he said.

"The plot is - - - wait, there's a foam rubber snake. And it eats people."

"Yes," he says.

I am very alarmed. "!" I am thinking, because suppose this chap is, well, Trey had many good qualities, but you know what I mean. And this chap is not as cute as Trey was when he was thinking hard. So I am not sure.

But who cares. This could be one of those MTM moments, where I need to stop being picky and weird. He's here, he's queer, he cleaned my kitchen, etc., and I'm complaining? Exactly.

Also, plenty of people have odd couple relationships without being gross or creepy like Pam and her husband who was old enough to have come over on the Mayflower. I get so disgusted when I see two gay guys and they are all a happy couple and high-powered and successful, and they have brunch mimosas with their adopted/surrogate babies and are all clean cut and such with their polo by Ralph Lauren duds, I just want to spit.