You Are "Endearing!"

Said the lady who I am currently doing an internship in Wills and Trusts for.

This was the result of an exchange in which she commented that the low income housing near where she lives is being turned down and she was concerned about where they were going to go.

"Snellville," I said, "My friend lives out there and it is getting really bad!"

She then told me I was endearing.

Well Hell Yes, is what I say to that, as long as by "endearing" she means "cute and a little quirky" sort of like, Parker Posey? Maybe? I'm saying, that's a good thing to be, because although unprompted I don't think anyone would come up with "endearing" as a top quality they want to have in a coworker/subordinate, if given a list of things, then I think they would put that at the top.
Or close to it, as opposed to, say, "aggressive asshole," "anal-retentive shrew," "intimidatingly brilliant," "passive aggressive whiner," "control freak," "dithery idiot," (oo, I really hate the last one), you know the people you hate working with.

And I'm nice to look at, and smell good, and have a chirpy personality and am full of Good Cheer.

She remarked upon this also.

"You seem like," she said, "if someone traveled with you, you would find the good in every situation."

This is true, and that is because, after one teaches at McNair, nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of your life.

So I am thinking, sooner or later, I HAVE to get a job out of this. I keep plugging away, and this morning someone told me that job is out there looking for me.

Well, she was running for office, but so why can't it find me already? Like I go anywhere, except for Autozone and Wal-Mart. Which- the other day, everyone-EVERYONE in the Autozone recognised me and the manager gave me a 10% discount.

I was thrilled, I would much rather be recognised by the manager of the autozone than the Detox supply store or- I dunno that it would be THAT bad to be recognised by the manager of the sex toy store, because that could mean that I am having lots and lots of interesting sex. By the way, which I am Not, because as previously mentioned, Men Are Stupid.

It would help had I met some but I haven't anyway so. Despite going to the Autozone a lot. Perhaps I should frequent a gay Autozone, if there is such a thing. And I don't go out to bars because that always seems to end in disaster.

I'm getting kinda ok with that. I am not happy, but I'm also not being desperate enough to make bad choices like chase after someone who doesn't care or just be with anyone to be with someone. So, if that has passed me by, I am not going to be happy about it, but I'm going to make the best of it.

Speaking of people who are NOT making the best of it, so A Certain Person rings me and is all whiny about how people are treating her badly, and yelling at her and such.

I am of two minds about this, which I try to meld. This is complicated, because I am trying to be Sympathetic yet Firm, because- Hi! People are being mean to you because you are being an Ass!

As in, how about you moved back in with your parents in your Thirties, aren't looking for a job, aren't helping out at home, and are being an alcoholic slut all over town and then getting into trouble, where your mom had to hire a lawyer to the tune of -many thousands of dollars, and then you aren't doing what the lawyer told you to do to get this off your record, so, yah, of course people aren't happy with you.

So I told her she needed to take some ownership, and she got mad, and I told her a good friend is there to help you walk tall.

Now this same girl- came over a couple of ? months ago? and brought some friend she met at a party, then we - you know- then she - after two days- claimed she had "fallen in love" and "mixed babies were so cute". (!) Really (!) Then in another two days she wasn't returning his phone calls, although he called her like 13 times in a row, because "he was too immature."

A) WTF?
B)WTF?
C)WTF?
Etc., etc.

Ima say, at least could you get to know someone, for more than a day, while you were moderately sober, before you make the conclusion to fall in love? And you're about as well equipped to take care of the baby as- Lindsey Lohan? or some other tramp. That baby gonna come out with three eyes from you drink so much. And you're living in your parents' house, no income, not looking for a job, and you want a baby from a man you don't know. Ok then.

So fine, don't have a baby, get married, you could get to know him, date, etc, and you have NO grounds to criticise someone because "he's too immature" for smoking weed every day when you are beet-red-drunk every day. You aren't any better.

And - return calls, people, it's just rude. If you can't be decently honest enough to say, "I think you are very nice but I just didn't feel the sparks," you can totally make up an excuse like, "My Sister's Cat is getting Married and I have to be Best Man/Bridesmaid at the Wedding."
Now I have been telling the guys who- yah, I am not that desperate dude- you are fugly and in your forties delivering pizzas- which, if you were off the charts in a good way on one or the other characteristics, like, you were a little fugly, but stupendously successful, or super hot, but a forty year old pizza delivery boy, that could work, but the combination, plus an asshole personality? No, I done told you! My boyfriend moved down here from Nashville. So stop.

But I told her, tell him you're trying to get your life together and you aren't really in the right place in your life for a relationship, that's a good way to solve that problem, right?

Not according to her. She's choosing the really mature (sarcasm here) means of - ignore him a good deal of the time.

Now I am not some shining example of how to live one's life and I make mistakes (lots of them) and bad choices and etc but I do try to stop and pick myself back up and work towards a goal in the future instead of just denying reality. I'm wondering if this alcoholism comes from being so self-centred that you deny reality and then get into these kinds of fixes. And the job thing, I told her, why don't you be an executive assistant? You're smart, and pretty, and - yah, that characteristic- and capable.

No, she says, I don't want to take orders from people.

Well then. You don't want a job, you won't treat anyone around you decently, it's me me me all the time, and I don't know what she lives off of, I imagine her parents, so- it's not going to get any better, unless you work towards it.

Damn all these people who are "waiting on their ship to come in." It AIN'T COMIN' IN! YOU GOTTA GET OUT THERE AND BUILD THE DAMN THING!