I. Am. Too. Young. For. All. Of. My. Landmarks. To. Disappear

I know y'all want to hear all about the Dominican Republic but I will just sum it up by saying A) it was exquisite B) Delta SUCKS, next time we're driving to Charlotte or Birmingham to fly some other airline- they made me take my luggage in BOXES and I am really- do you know how I said I have no sense of shame? Well, I ALMOST did. C) Do you know how, in the Atlanta airport, there are museum type displays of what you cannot bring back into the country? Like python skins, and turtles? So I was showing Trey the display of Traditional Chinese Medical Articles you cannot bring back into the country? And there were several bottles with a cobra and scorpion inside, pickled in alcohol? And what do you think Trey asks? Three guesses and I'll tell you at the end of the less interesting story.

O and cheers to Sara for commenting on my blog, because that is the only way that I know people are reading it and like it. You REALLY don't want me to write about what I'm learning in law school. So comment, because I have some Totally Inappropriate Questions for y'all that y'all will like.

So- I am feeling all at sixes and sevens, because all of the landmarks of my youth are disappearing-

Let me explain what this means. In your youth, in your childhood, there are certain things, objects, people, that you mean to achieve or that you set as sort of guiding lights, right? Think about it. There are things that become embedded for you that you set your compass by-

Part of it is a little bit of me; I always wanted to be either a French teacher or Lee Iacocca, and Lee Iacocca having become out of reach, I decided to be a French teacher, which didn't work out. I suppose there's an inherent failure in that vision itself- but we didn't have a vast panoply of role models growing up to choose from. Honestly, the most powerful people I had in my field of vision were: teachers and Lee Iacocca, and the most beautiful thing I could imagine was French, and then as far as I could tell Lee Iacocca didn't (doesn't) speak French so - - -

And now I'm having to move away from that to something I'm - trying to be sure of, and doing well with being sure of, but it's still a drastic change. I didn't know any lawyers growing up so this is a completely new field of reference, and as I say, all the landmarks have changed.

Now the other thing: I am absolutely obsessed with automobiles; you may have noticed, hence the whole Lee Iacocca thing. Hence the Grand National, hence the fact that I'm somewhat knowledgeable about cars that most people haven't ever heard of.

But those landmarks are disappearing, rapidly.

Let me be the first to say that the cars of the '80's, the 600s and Cutlasses and Centurys and Custom Cruiser wagons and Cadillac Broughams- - - were not in Consumer Reports kind of ways better than the cars of today. A Camry today is much more reliable, less rattly, larger, more powerful, etc. than the Camry of my youth.

But I didn't care for the Camry of my youth, (who really did) and I don't care for the Camry of today.

And that's all that we have today.

Automobiles have become soulless transportation appliances tricked up with incomprehensible technology no one understands, and less benefits from.

20 years ago, BMWs were famous for athletic ability; today, BMWs are famous for iDrive, a system nobody wants and doesn't enhance the driving process.

Buicks then were great cars, comfortable, luxurious in the boudoir-on-wheels paradigm. Oldsmobiles were like that, hugely powerful with whore's drawers pillow tufted interiors, beautifully finished. Find the Camry today with that personality, find the Camry today without the hard, cheap, scuffable plastic interior. My Buick has SOUL. Name for me the affordable car for today, and the future, with that kind of SOUL- itself an indefinable quality- but with the quality of materials and design that went into that Buick.

Those cars were works of art in a way that cars are no longer. There WAS a "special feel in an Oldsmobile." You would "really rather have a Buick."

I don't want keyless ignition in a car, I can start a car with a key.

I understand what Bluetooth is, and I can't understand why that's considered a desirable feature.

I can open a door myself; I don't need power sliding doors, I don't want television in my car; I don't WANT a fancy computer interface to change my radio station or change the climate control from "Hi" to "Lo", I can slide a switch.

I want a Riviera with the padded landau roof and the pillow tufted colour coded interior and the opera lamps with the R in script in the middle and a cushy ride and immense power.

I want a big, formal roofed, black Cadillac which projected power and stateliness in a way that no other car does anymore.

And all those things are gone.

Who is Lindsey Lohan? What has she DONE to warrant the gigabytes of data (I'm struggling here to be contemporary) devoted to her? What has she ever produced of note?

We did have - then- some celebrities who were distinctive for one reason or another. Name three celebrities of today- say, this current decade- who have really done something no one else has done before, in a way no one else has done before. Name one.

The fashions of this decade are- well, what are they? Crocs? Gardening Clogs under a different name? Back then we had Jellies, and Leg warmers, and fluorescent clothing and checks and big hair and what do we have now?

The last of the great trio- Thatcher, John Paul II ( correct me in the comments if I got the number wrong) and Reagan- is about to step off the stage- following the two others. Who do we have to compare to that?

Hell, we don't even have Sam Walton anymore.

So this loss of my landmarks- and from what I can tell, there's no one and nothing to replace them- remember, in 1986 the Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme was the best selling car in America. You could buy it in innumerable variations, from secretary special to Total Luxury Sport Automobile (it shall not be denigrated by calling it a vehicle) and today we have the - - Camcord- is deeply disturbing.

Y'all, there's a Brave New World out there, and it is soulless and definitely frightening. Is this the sun setting on the Anglo American Empire? I don't think I want to be the architect of it, but rather the architect of what Was.

I want to return a sense of Grandeur to American Industry. I want to return a sense of Grandeur to the American People.

I want Americans to understand that they have created something distinct and valuable in Opera Lamps and Formal Rooflines and the Pillow-Tufted Interior rather than slavishly following something Japanese, and don't get me started on how Bling currently expresses itself, in the form of Big Dumb Trucks.

No.

There is a particularly American form of Grace and Elegance that is allowed to expand Here, and only here, that needs to be taken hold of. The Swabians understand it, largely because the Swabians comprise so much of American Culture.

We're not a Bauhaus, Berliner Kultur. We're a Swabian, Gemutlichkeit Kultur, and we need to Embrace that.

Before all of my Landmarks, all that was worthy and Distinctly Anglo-Swabisch-American- disappears.

O! Now you have read to the end of the diatribe! So Trey asks; Is it alive?