The Unibrow Whore

I could tell y'all about my first week of law school? But although it's personally thrilling for me, I don't think I can make it interesting for y'all, except for two things:

I did a good deed, which was that one of my classes was changing, and the book of the girl who was sitting next to me vanished, and I FOUND IT. YES. I tracked it down by asking the chap who had just vacated the seat. He had - - DA DUH DUHHH! Taken the book and put it in his locker. So, I'm like Superman and singlehandedly stop crimes.

Bet you'd never thought I'd liken myself to Superman.

Ha! Perhaps once Alex gets his C.P.A. then we can be like superheroes, only actually, I don't have to be boring like I had previously thought. Alex can be boring. Perhaps, even better, I can be an Action-Transvestite-Superhero Tax Lawyer. I can defeat crime with pointy heels and a murse and well reasoned legal arguments. Does that thought not excite you? Do you not want to see me poke holes in opposing counsel with my brilliant legal mind and stiletto boots?

Of course you do.

Anyway, we were going somewhere last night- which I will tell you about later but y'all are more interested in hearing about Unibrow Whore- and Trey is inventorying the contents of his murse, which is an adorable little lunchbox-type thing. But smaller. So think lunchbox crossed with Evening bag.

What does Trey have in his murse?

I have cigarettes, he says proudly, I have my wallet= = = have some change - - - I have Altoids - - I have a frog (he did indeed have a plastic toy frog in his murse) - - - and a golf ball.

Now what I want to know is how can you not just adore a man who carries a toy frog and a golf ball in his murse. It is hard to stay angry at someone like that.

So about Unibrow Whore- There's this whore, in the neighbourhood, and her distinguishing feature is this- UNIBROW, which as far as I have heard is not a common enough fetish to warrant a magazine.

Assignment for the week: Research "Unibrow Fetish" and get back to me.

She has of course bleach blonde hair, which is not bad for a whore, and then these huge beetly black eyebrows that meet in the middle, so the effect is quite strange. And her face is Edward G. Robinsonesque, not to speak ill of the dead though. And I saw her leaving the neighbourhood at 8 in the morning and I'm like, she must be putting in some serious overtime! Could it be on account of her unibrow? Is there such a fetish?

There was Frida Kahlo, so - - - .

I suppose it's like her trademark, like Tammy Faye's eyelashes, and not to speak ill of the dead but when you start drawing parallels there you just can't stop. "Ill-considered and horrifying" are just two of the words that come to mind.

At any rate, I have composed some SONGS! Really! That you can- no y'all. You Must. It is incumbent upon you to sing along to in honour of Unibrow Whore. (wouldn't that make a good name of a band? We're going to see The Unibrow Whore at the Tabernacle)

There was a whore who had a unibrow.
E-I-E-I-O
With a blow job here and a crack pipe there
Unibrow, unibrow, everywhere
There was a whore who had a unibrow.
E-I-E-I-O

'Twas morning, and the Unibrow Whore
Did ply her trade on Alston Drive
All cracked out, was the one-browed whore,
But how she could fellate.

Do you know the unibrow whore, the unibrow whore, the Unibrow whore
Do you know the unibrow whore, who works on Alston Drive?

Twinkle Twinkle little whore,
How I wonder what's your score
Working on the streets all night
Flaunting your unibrow in daylight
Twinkle twinkle little whore
How I wonder what's your score.