Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Things I Really Need to Work Up The Nerve to Tell Some People

Y'all, it may shock you that I am not always entirely forthright with my opinions, because I generally do not mince my words, but actually sometimes I do keep my views all bottled up inside me! And this is not a good thing because people NEED my advice and opinions. The world is crying out for them.
So here are some of the Things I Really Need to Work Up the Nerve to Tell Some People.

So first of all I would like to tell someone that when you are all that fussy about your appearance and some other things, people never get to take the time to Know the Real You. When you spend apparently every waking minute of your existence ensuring that you have the Right Image from the Right Makeup and Right Clothes and Right Hair and Right Neighbourhood and Right Car at least some people are quite honestly scared to death. And they never get to know the real You because it is so tightly wrapped in this layer of what you have decided is perfection that people are afraid to get close or they think there's nothing worth further investigating. Relax. Be more of a put your shoes up on the couch and eat potato chips kind of person.

Also I would like to tell another person that those people who do not learn to forget the past are doomed to repeat it and to grow up. You are not 4 years old any more. You have control over your emotions and over your reactions. Every time someone says something to you, you do not have to dissect it for subtext like a Foucaultian scholar, ok? You can just say, "yes, dear," and go on about your business, or look at pictures of cats on the internet, or something. You can even roll your eyes inwardly while saying, "yes, dear." Yes, I too enjoy a good summer thunderstorm but there isn't any reason to bring it inside the house.

And I would like to (and am probably going to) tell another person that being roaring, continuously, bed-wetting drunk is excusable to a certain degree and somewhat amusing in one's early twenties, less so in your late twenties, and a reason to call Charter in your early thirties.

And to another person: You seriously do not have to dedicate your life to being a living example of the saying, "There's no fool like an old fool." You are WAY past your sell-by date.

Y'all have to comment on my blog! Or I will put down the unpleasant thing I am thinking about you and then EVERYONE will laugh at you.