Monday, May 25, 2009

Where Are You From? Why Didn't You Stay There?





Cruella, how is Rio?

Well. See those pictures of me having fun? Not in Rio. They were taken somewhere called Buzios which was basically that place in Florida? Seagrove or Seacrest or whatever? But in Brazil, so it was cute and quaint and probably frightfully expensive for Brazil but it was really nice. I cannot wait to go to some place called Paraty (pronounced Parachi, 'cos Portuguese letters? Are not pronounced like they look. This is not fun.)

But how is Rio? Meaning: Are the Brazilians really hot? And does the water go the other way down the loo, 'cos you're south of the equator?

Ok; frankly, basically most people who are not Americans I think are pretty hot because being non-Americans they are not pasty tubs of lard. I guess, I really haven't noticed? Because Rio is full of beggars etc. so you really develop that thing where you look through people, and they also have people handing out little flyers or something on the pavements. I'm like, it's pre-internet spam! great. Anyway I suppose the Brazilians are better looking. Perhaps if it didn't get DARK at BLOODY 6 O'CLOCK 'cos it's winter, I could go see the beach more. I would like to return to Atlanta with both my ears and all the other body parts I came with attached to me so I'm not going out after dark, like- I Am Legend or something.

This gives me LOTS of time to do my homework, a lot of which I actually do, but I also think I have a new drinking buddy (buddette), who was with us in Austria, and we like to sit around and drink a lot and watch movies and say really filthy things to each other. We have had I think some of the flat out most, um, honest and open dialogues I think I have ever had, so that is a good thing, and said buddette is conservative. Had I known Rio would be like this and I would be in my room a lot, I would have brought more movies. I have: Mildred Pierce, both Eurythmics videos, two Eddie Izzard movies, Madame Bovary, and two things from Netflix, L'Enfer and Betty. I was trying to pack light, and did. O well.

I don't know whether the water goes around the other way, I really haven't noticed much. It doesn't really flush the toilet what you would call effectively- I'll spare you the details- but I haven't honestly noticed.

We're like two blocks from Copacabana beach, which- sounds all exciting and glamorous? But it's actually- like post-apocalyptic Panama City- or the parts of New Jersey that make New Jersey New Jersey on the Florida Panhandle, it's just a huge city stuck right smack on the ocean so although the beach itself is nice, you walk a couple of blocks and everything smells of pee and is grimy and full of beggars, etc. The downtown, where the university is, I like better because it is more dynamic and all but we haven't been to see anything there. Part of the problem- or a lot of the problem- is that we're all in separate buildings so it's very difficult to meet up with and find people and it's also rather difficult to develop a community like we had in Austria where- everyone was in the same place, so there were a lot of doors open and people in and out and so forth. Apparently last year everyone was in the same building, so that would have been MUCH better.

How is your apartment?

Some people (KAREN AND LORNE) have a nice apartment which is attractively furnished, updated, etc, and I do not, mine is definitely furnished in Early Garbage Pickup and just a little grim. Seriously, $10 worth of paint and some fabrics and better lighting and this could be really nice and comforting, but it's-not. Buddette's apartment is worse, it's entirely dingy white, and she has a FLUORESCENT light in her bathroom. At least everything works, and post-meltdown, I have internet. I wouldn't mind it- everything works, like I said, which is nto true for everyone's apartment- but I think because this is the off season, for the price we are paying they could have gotten a good package deal on a nicer hotel somewhere and put us all up in one place and had the classes there. I had to buy an alarm clock, with the whole-waking up for school thing and- that was a challenge- because I don't know how to say alarm clock in Portuguese, so I tried spanish, and that did not work so much to the amusement of my accompanying friend I went up to the employee and said tick tick tick tick beep beep beep beep. This sort of worked. So I have an alarm clock, and because I have to get up and go to class all early in the morning, I bought a coffeemaker. I have a kitchen but it is the size of a hall closet and there aren't real utensils in there. For example. I have no actual teaspoons? But a funnel. And I'm just not feeling the whole cooking thing, which is really bizarre, because I love to cook! When someone else is there to appreciate it. Also groceries here are rather expensive.

Anyway, I do have a fridge in my room, and I have air conditioning, which both work. And most importantly I have internet, so I can talk to y'all and also watch documentaries on youtube about people who have sex with their cars.

I am not making this up.

So my days are basically: Get up early, go to class on the subway, ignore the people passing out little bits of paper, I stop at a place in the street and get a grilled ham and cheese sandwich and a tiny drink for 1,50 R which is like 75 cents. Then I have a snack at break which- is made out of dried meat and is sort of like- breaded and deep-fried meatloaf? Then sometimes I have lunch at the kilo restaurant- which is a place which is like a buffet, but you pay for what you eat. Then I usually come back and have a nap, then it is time to study and then late late time for bed.

Yah, sounds great, right? And there has been a LOT of homework, which- I suppose is unsurprising because we have 14 weeks of class packed into two. But I think part of the problem is that my first class was largely a review of Corporate Finance and Corporations and so I am really angling for an A. And a bunch of the people are pass/fail so they gave no effort. Anyway I still have a paper due in that class.

But Cruella, you used to be all adventurous! You've been to Mexico City and all by yourself!

This is true. I think though that nowadays since a great vacation for me is go to Nashville and cook large quantities of gourmet food and visit with Robin, which is very RELAXING although about as adventurous as new pillows, adventurousness in Rio is not my thing anymore. I think I have enough excitement in my life nowadays what with law school and all. I suppose I've turned the corner from wanting exciting things to happen to me to just putting out a lot of fires. I can't remember how much spanish I spoke the first time I went to Mexico city but it wasn't much. Also Mexico City has a much more easily navigable subway and I was staying with people- actually, I didn't know them at all. It used to be thrilling to go and see new things and all but I am also thinking when I see the crafts, etc, in the markets, been there, done that, don't wear/use it, so I don't get excited about shopping anymore. I just want to go somewhere more relaxing. If that makes me non-adventurous, bof! is what I say.

Bof?

Yah, as in Bof! Like anyone's going to make an Indiana Jones type movie about my life.

What are the other people like, Cruella?

Well. A lot of the people are from Seattle, and I have been busy thinking of something vaguely mean to say to them if necessary, as in the title of this piece. Just in case I need to say it, I have it all at hand. You can't go round unarmed, right? That's my attitude. Most of them are nice but there are a couple of jerks, I think like:

One chap who hit on a friend of mine by asking her, "Can I sleep in your bed?" when he is sort of toady-froggy looking and she is hot:

One chap who borrowed money from a girl in my class and refused to return it. He also distinguished himself by telling various young ladies that they had a lot of nice music on their computers and could he put some on his flash drive, then when they plugged in the flash drive, it contained pictures of his wang.

Y'all that pickup strategy wouldn't even work on ME and y'all know- o never mind. I would be revolted. I don't get it.

I spend a fair amount of class speculating on who is hooking up. If y'all have any juicy gossip let me know, I need some.

O and I have no juicy gossip to relate about me, I have been stunningly Boring. I have been endeavouring not to be That Student on this trip, meaning I don't want to be the person about whom people say, "Did you hear about That Student last year who. . . ?" Well, I have "Mildred Pierce" to help keep me from that.

Cruella, how freaked out are you about that plane vanishing?

A LOT! It particularly spooks me that the plane just vanished, at least of this writing, and I was discussing this with Robin recently and he did not seem at all concerned. And yes, I know statistically that airplanes are safe etc etc, but A) you have to do a lot to get killed in a car nowadays and B) you can survive a car crash, but a plane crash? Unless the plane crashes in like a 15 minute take off and landing window? You are deader than dead. There is honestly no point in paying attention to any pre-flight safety thing, if you fall through seven miles of sky, you are squish. And like a car- I get in the car every day and successfully avoid accidents and so forth, but airplane travel is rather rare, and in response to the statistically safer argument, Yes, I know, but none of those 228 people thought they were going to die when they got on that plane. I do not ordinarily mind flying- at least not for the danger aspects of it, but now I do.

Cruella, did you buy one of those skimpy bathing suits?

Yes, I did, for Robin. We now have matching bathing suits so, um, I feel this will be widely construed as a Bad Thing. I also feel this is one of those Pictures That Will Come Back to Haunt Me in the Future but hey, here you are. Note: I even figured out how to make it not sideways! Are you not impressed?!

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Cruella Holds Three Babies At Once!




Cruella, is it smart for you to put pictures of yourself on your blog? Because- you write things that might get you in trouble.

I just don't know, I figured this was ok. Everyone in law school already knows so.

Cruella, why are you holding those babies all floppy? I do not think I want you to hold my baby if you are going to hold them all floppy like that.

Well, Julio's baby, Nolan, is quite large and floppy. Nasir is also floppy. - They are- about 6 months old? So they are just two big bundles of flop. Jaden, the three year old, is less floppy, but she wanted to participate in the snuggle fest. Olivia also wanted to participate. She is not floppy. Babies love Cruella and Cruella loves babies!