Saturday, September 27, 2008

No Petrol and A Corpse


I don't THINK anyone reads this from anywhere else, but if you do, y'all know I live in Atlanta (SavageATL, right?) And so did y'all know we have no petrol?

First of all this is NOT my fault. Ok, some of you may try to blame this on me because I recently resurrected the above car and started driving it, and as you may have noticed, said car is about the size of a NY Studio apartment. But no, this is not my fault.

Frankly, I do not know whose fault this is, but I do NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT. Ok? Not one little bit! I have gotten used to having to pay $4 a gallon for petrol, but I am not used to no petrol at $4 a gallon, and y'all, Marta is NOT in my vocabulary. Right. Like I'm going to schlep my 8 bags on a bus and then a train and get mugged. Of course, wearing my fur, I would fit right in with the crazy bag ladies, but still. Y'all, this is JUST NOT RIGHT. You are going to have to pry my cars out of my COLD DEAD HANDS.

I do not know what the options are, so let's make some up.

I could fix the demand side by not leaving the house, which I will do gladly! But there is this little thing called work, and school, and I do not think it will be very much fun to stay at home without heat or power or running water, and I also do not think Wells Fargo would be very happy with my own personal contribution to the foreclosure crisis. I would have to decorate my shopping cart with mannequin heads, which - have you seen what a Damien Hirsch (sp?) goes for these days? Hmmm. (note to self: find shopping cart, decorate with mannequin heads, take to school, ruin chances of career)

Wait, I am at work. A DERANGED HOMELESS PERSON JUST WANDERED IN HERE, and asked me, are you Columbian? I just smiled and nodded. This is one of the things I have always feared about the Midtown centre. I have yet another reason not to be happy today.

So let's work on the supply side. Other people have oil. What does America have too much of?

Lawyers, we could export lawyers in exchange for oil. Fine, I'll practice law in Uzbekistan or wherever, provided I get to take all my cars and my mannequin heads. But they won't let me do that, so no, and I do not care to learn how to say "Statutory interpretation within the bounds of the Constitution according to legislative intent" in Uzbek.

We DEFINITELY have too many celebrity seeking individuals, people who are willing to go on Fear Factor and daytime talk shows. Now, have you noticed that many oil producing nations have a severe dearth of celebrity seeking individuals? Like, name 10 celebrities from Saudi Arabia. Name one. Wasn't Charo of Love Boat fame from Venezuela? See, this is a Good Idea, we can export Tila Tequila, and in the spirit of bipartisanship, let's export Michael Moore, Rush Limbaugh, and Al Franken.

Now see, there's ANOTHER thing that America has entirely too many of: fat people. Let's export them, and in these oily countries, they could- well, I'm not really sure what fat people are good for. Singing opera, I think, and being Orson Welles, and amusing me on rare occasions, but- my fellow Americans: I am willing to sacrifice some things to maintain my key values. Don't they have sex with, like, goats in some of these oily countries? Wouldn't a nice fat person be better?

Now what about whales? Didn't we used to burn whale oil? So, we could do lipo and convert people blubber into petrol, right? Maybe? I saw somewhere on a display of synthetic transmission fluid that regular transmission fluid was/still is made out of pork fat. So, yes. Or we could just go back to killing whales, which I am all for, because it a) produced a great work of literature that no one has ever read and b) honestly! What has a whale done for you recently? Majestic intelligent blah blah blah my ass. You don't hear anyone raving about giant squids, do you?

Anyway, someone had better fix this petrol thing, and fix it NOW. So with that in mind, I watched the debate last night, chez Saniel.

My mind wasn't changed, I prefer McCain because he seems like more of a known quantity, and I Trust him. That being said, I didn't see much difference between the two candidates. I don't know that I would terribly mind Obama as president; he doesn't appear slimy like the Clintons, or evil like Al Gore, or waffly like Kerry. But I have to ask a couple of questions: Both candidates talked a lot about reining in spending, but Obama also talked about we need $ for alternative energies and several other programs, so- where exactly is he going to rein in spending?
And did y'all notice Obama saying that I'm going to have cross-border attacks into Pakistan? Like bombing raids? Because that worked so well in Cambodia? And then McCain said, well, If I were going to do that, I wouldn't tell anyone, so he'd SECRETLY bomb Pakistan?

I think whomever we get- most likely to be Obama- is going to end up looking a lot like Bush III.

Anyway, completely randomly- this morning on the way to work, there were a whole bunch of police cars outside one house on Memorial, and after I noticed that the 500/Taurus can now be purchased as a police car- I was thinking, this isn't an accident- and then I noticed crime scene tape, and then I noticed someone lying flat on their face in someone's yard, and I realised someone had apparently been killed.

Ooo and I have this feeling that American football season is upon us, so what I have to do is arm myself with a compendium of stupendously boring law facts which I can retaliate with if anyone tries to tell me about American football. I have been working on a memo for my externship involving the constitutionality of state regulations and some of those cases are really, really awful. They contain pages and pages of language like this. "statute granting statutory immunity to counties for non-contractual acts and omissions relating to flood protection was not impliedly repealed by statutes abrogating common-law statutory immunity."

And yesterday I had a blowout on the freeway and my brother and Dad came and helped me, which if you really want to know about I can describe in great detail, but muchos thank yous to everyone involved. I am almost so thankful as to abandon my plan to Intentionally Inflict Emotional Distress on Alex and reveal all, but I am thinking, at least one of the ideas is too good to entirely abandon, so what I will do is just reveal part of it now, and part of it in a later post. Vaseline.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Plot to Intentionally Inflict Emotional Distress on Alex

Today (Sunday) Alex rang me just as I was getting into the car to go to work.

"Did you start your revenge plot yet?" he asks. This time he was so incensed, he even included punctuation.

"No-o," I said. He couldn't possibly know about what I have done yet, so I said no.

"Because someone took off my tire and left it by the car and stole my lug nuts," he said, "and I was wondering if you had done it."

Now Alex should know that I'm not likely to get involved in any plot for revenge that also involves breaking a nail. Besides, if I'm going to screw with someone's car, it will be Lady Thatcher who is still out of commission.

Anyway, I will now share with you the poem I made up, right on the spot! I think I am headed for Miss Doxie levels of intelligence, which is- good, right?

It's fun to plot
But I will not
Do it anymore
Because I see
That you have tires three
Instead of tires four.

Well, it turns out that someone stole his entire tire and wheel, which I am thinking is -wow. That was unforeseen. I do not know what to tell him to do, other than A) I think he should have a Halloween party, and B) mannequin heads? it works for me.

In entirely random news, we have a memo to do for tax, and there was some discussion about which subject to choose. I thought to not worry about it and just do the first one. (someone else) in the class is picking the third one, which is supposed to be the most difficult. "Because," he tells me, "I have a background in tax and know all about these things." He described his knowledge in sufficient detail (now do you REALLY want a third hand account of tax knowledge?) I thought not.

Well! I said. One of these days- one of these days, we'll have a law class entirely based on French grammar, and - Then! We shall see!

O and I cannot say yet that this semester has Improved in any Marked way. I can say it has gotten cooler, and the work is more headache-inducing, which means that I am Seriously trying to figure out who I can talk into going to Cabo with me right before Eurythmas.

First of all they have to pay their own way, but I have to have one other person to go.

I do not want to go with Dean because he is a really great person but then- he wants to go in a direction I do not want to go with a bearded Pillsbury Doughboy. Ok?! Like, he's great! We have fabulous conversations! But! Much more the D&D type than my type.

I do not want to go anywhere with Trey anymore, because he has little nubs of front teeth and no money and is- difficult.

I do not want to go with Mr. Smurf because- I don't think he has any money either and he is supposed to go home to Indiana.

I could go with (my law school friend) but she claims not to have any money. Pawn your macbook, I tell her. It's Cabo! With sun and umbrella drinks!

I could go with MTM but she already declined.

I do not want to go with Mr. Indecisive, because he cannot make up his mind about anything.

I did ask Robin, whom I would LOVE to go to Cabo with (clothespins and ropes in a foreign country! I offer) but he does not think he will get vacation until January, also I think he is thinking this is a little fast.

That one chap only rings me after, like 11 at night, and he tastes like Formula 409.

Then I remember, i do know someone who lives in one of these countries, he is (or at least WAS a jerk 11 years ago, and I have no reason to believe he has changed) but I am thinking, Umbrella drinks! Beach! Umbrella drinks! I can deal with some jerkiness for a week. So we shall see.

Anyway, I just have to like whomever the lucky chap (most likely, although, hey, I'm open to suggestions) is well enough to go to Cabo for a week with him (which, naturally means- yah. For a WEEK.) Suppose I make That Face for a Week and it Freezes that way? That would make it difficult to get a job, don't you think? I don't have to be like, head over heels or anything. I (hee) probably won't even have to - . I'll stop now.

Today I really wanted to tell (my friend) that her dress was making her, um, chest, look particularly imposing but somehow gathered up the self-restraint not to do this.

But that means I may LACK the self restraint to avoid visiting a bar near my externship this evening after tax, having totally used up all my self restraint. My self restraint was also soaked up by- um. Also I want to let y'all know that I have transferred my unrequited lust from, um, one person to, another, which is in part inspiring my possible visit to this bar.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Tax

9/18

Chapters 9- Discharge of Indebtedness.

Is forgiven debt income?

$61 (a) (12) specifically includes in gross income, discharge of indebtedness.

Sometimes, discharge of indebtedness can be treated as a gift,

108(a) describes insolvency exclusion- not gross income if
a) in a Title 11 case
b) while taxpayer is insolvent
c) qualified farm indebtedness
d) in the case of a taxpayer other than a C corporation, the indebtedness discharged is qualified real property business indebtedness.

108 covers all discharge of indebtedness income.

108 (e) (5) is retroactive purchase price reduction

108 (e) (2) is exception for deductible items

108 9e) (4) is related party rules

Bowers, sup ct considered whether a taxpayer who borrowed $ repayable in marks received income when it repaid the loan with devalued marks. No, that was $ lost in a business venture, the mere diminution of loss is not gain, profit, or income.

Kirby, repayment of corporate debt at less than its face amount constitutes income.

There was a clear gain, increased net worth, how are these things distinguished?

There's a freeing of assets theory, taxpayer realises gain when a debt is discharged. Bowers- borrowed funds lost in unsuccessful enterprise. Loans aren't income because there's an obligation to repay, when the obligation isn't there anymore, then it's income.

A leases a building from B and can't pay b/c of insolvency. A agrees to pay some of what's in arrears and then B agrees to cancel balance and reduce future rent. Is this income if A remains insolvent?

Dallas Transfer, There was no income, 'cos discharge of debt did not result in payer having something of exchangeable value in addition to what he had before.
,

9/25, IRAs or fringe benefits.

He was saying that this is an interesting time for those of us who have invested all of our money in gold, well, I invested all my money in horrible old GM rwd cars.

Something about deductible, you have an exclusion for contribution amount to IRA.
Deductible: Above the line deduction,
Caps and income phase outs (there's a limit to deductions, and above a certain income line, you don't get to deduct anymore)
As you accumulate earnings across all three, they aren't taxable in the year in which they are realised. (not additions to capital)
Distributions, however, are taxable under the annuity rules
Mandatory withdrawal
Early distribution penalty.

Nondeductible IRAs
No immediate tax advantage
Deferral rule, built in increases not taxable until withdrawal
Distributions taxable under annuity rules
Mandatory withdrawal
Early distribution penalty. (when would you use this? When beyond cap or have exceeded income requirements)
Roth: Qualifying distributions are nondeductible. (on the others the distributions were always taxed) Qualifying distributions are excludable for gross income, essense of Roth IRA. There's an age requirement and also a 5 year holding requirement. Problem, see Chapter 8 p 157.
To solve this, start with 219 g 1. Ron does not get to use deductible IRA, he apparently makes too much money. Start with 219 b 5 a. In general, deductible amount is 5K for 2008 and thereafter. He's also attained age of 50 so has catch up provision of 1K, so he can contribute up to 6K and get an above the line deduction, an exclusion from income up to 6K. But Ron's going to be phased out 'cos of 219B5B , and then 219 g something and 219 3 g, something. He makes too much $ and is already covered by a pension plan. Mary won't bust the cap on income, 219G7 but she does have a reduction in the amount she could otherwise contribute. She gets about a 2K deduction. Her income exceeds cap by 5K so she gets half of that.

B for Problem 1, non deductible, Ron can contribute 6, Mary can contribute 5, she doesn't get catch up provision.

408 a and 408 c for Roth, Ron can contribute up to 3K and Mary up to 2500. Their roth contributions are cut by 50% because they exceed income cap. (wouldn't you want to fool with gross income to adjust it downwards? yes, that's a planning issue, you could defer a lot of different things) 408 d 2 defines something important.

A contribution that is tied to a qualifying distribution.

COD- discharge of indebtedness? We know this from some section of 61, we know this from Kirby lumber, freeing up of assets. Loan equals cash and then debt on the other side. 61 a 12, the discharge of indebtedness leads to freeing up of asset. There's also a tax benefit rule theory. We can't go back and amend to correct if in year three, the debt goes away.

Now he's talking about insolvency, that's a tax logic rule. Hmm, it's 7, we've had an hour of this, that means an hour and three quarters. Tax benefit rule is the better approach, but In year 1, you borrow 100$, then in year 3, you can't pay it back, you don't have any $, but when creditor files it as a bad loan, then you have to file it as income. It's as though you had undeniable accession to wealth, and it's not a gift.

Reduction or forgiveness of student loans is accession, Unless it's for public interest work, teaching and now law.

Discharge of indebtedness is income to debtor, $61 a 12,
Certain exceptsions $108 a 1, Gross income does NOT include any amount which would be includible in gross income by reason of the discharge of indebtedness of the taxpayer if a) the discharge occurs in a title 11 case, or b) the discharge occurs when taxpayer is insolvent (is this because of that whole debtor's prison thing?)

If Cancellation of Debt income is excluded from gross income, then- reduction in debtor's tax attributes- any remaining Cancellation of debt income, i.e. after exhausting all tax attributes) is not included in gross income, but instead disappears- (what are tax attributes? Deductions that end up getting zeroed out)

Exclusions: gift exception, I've "lent" $ to Julio, and cancel debt. Detached and disinterested generosity means that it's a gift and no income. Buyer seller, I sell Alex Moby Dick for $2000, and then have to adjust purchase price downward, as long as taxpayer is solvent, then basis changes and doesn't give rise to cancellation of indebtedness income.

student loans, as long as qualified student loans.

Lost deduction,

Chap ? 10? Compensation for Injury and Sickness. There's an undeniable accession to wealth in punitive damages. 5 rules in slides. Income is an undeniable accession to wealth per Glenshaw glass which was in fact a punitive damages case.
Rule 1: Damages awarded on account of lost profits are Gross Income (in lieu of taxable income, profit)
Rule 2: Recovery for property damage is measured against the basis of property to determine gain or lsos
Rule 3: Damages to recover portion of goodwill are a return of capital and are excluded from Gross Income
Rule 4: Conversion of property to cash, however, may result in the recognition of gain (We'll buy your home, buy income producing property, generally in commercial context, both pl and def have some sort of commercial relationship or the damage is directed at property.)
Rule 5: Damages received on account of personal physical injuries are excluded from gross income.

Rule of exclusion: sickness damages etc, not taxed, but an economist would
Rule 5: Damages received on account of personal physical injuries or sickness is excluded from Gross Income.

Raytheon : gives us the in lieu of test. That's what we use to deal with Prob 1 of chapter 10.

Rule 104 a 2, excludes from gross income any damages received, whether by suit or agreement, as a lump-sum or periodic payment, on account of personal physical injuries or sickness (that is, tort or tort type rights) Typical cases: Battery, Title 7, Typical exceptions to exclusion: Emotional distress, punitive damages.

GR: key is to show origin of claim lies in a physical injury and the claim is no otherwise grouped under emotional distress. Thus, law excludes all the damages intended to compensate a taxpayer for a physical injury and the consequences, including economic consequences, flowing from that injury.

Accident and health insurance, 104 (a)(3) not includable if it's not financed through/by taxpayer's employer.

methodology: Key: Allocation:
Payments for pain and suffering!
Is there a personal injury?
Are there damages?

See problem P 181, he gets 900K, 500K for pain and suffering, 100K in reimbursed medical expenses, 50K in future med expenses, 80K in lost income, 150K in punitive damages, and 20K in damages to truck. He paid 10K already and got a deduction for 6K of it, the remaining 90K was paid by HIS health ins co. Ah! And we see the tax consequences of the way a lawsuit is pled, what's excludable and what isn't.

some things are excludable under 104 a 2- then you go back to section 61, undeniable accession to wealth = gross income, now 104 a 2, and see, amount of damages other than punitive, so punitive will be gross income. Personal physical injury and sickness. So for pain and suffering, do we have a physical injury/sickness? Yes. Are there any damages? Start by looking at text of settlement. -1-c regs. Can you infer there are damages from future medical expenses? Yes, so this is excludable.

Even if it's IIED damages that manifest themselves in a physical way, still included in gross income.
Do I go there or does I goes home?

Now he's talking about structured settlement brokers, and annuities, and a bunch of them go under and if you are the plaintiff and win the $, and then you are SOL. You have signed release of liability.

Step 1- do you have physical injury, 2- damages 3- damages received on account of personal physical injury.

Under this analysis, the 500K entirely excluded. Reimbursed med expenses of 100K, generally excluded, but then there's qualification under 104, referring to 213. He can't get the 10K he's paid and deducted, this has to be taken into income. No, deduction of 94K, or wait, reduce by amount already deducted. Future med expenses are clearly excluded, lost income is excluded, not the source or category of award, but this is the result of personal physical injury. It's irrelevant that it replaces wages because it results from personal physical injury. Must meet three part test, physical personal injury, damages, and then damages result from physical/personal injury. The pickup truck does not meet requirements of damage to you.

Fringe Benefits. We're most concerned with disguised income. We don't want employers to move into the category of moving compensation and calling it fringe benefits. So there are three ways, one which is not valid, a fringe benefit is a gift, and we know no such thing. Other is they are includable in gross income 'cos undeniable accession to wealth, or they're excluded b/c of policy.

What's a fringe benefit: An economic benefit, other than a cash salary or wages, that is provided to (see slide)

Presumably accession to wealth.

Exceptions to general rule to include fringe benefits in Gross income:

Qualified fringe benefits: meals and lodging
no additional cost services (free Kaplan class for employee)
qualified employee discounts
working condition fringe
de minimis fringe (unlimited office supplies)
Qualified transportation fringe (public transit pass)
On premises athletic facilities
Qualified tuition reductions (6)
Qualified moving expense reimbursements (19)

119, exclusion for employee for meals and lodging provided on the employer's premises, does not include cash allowance, must be meals, can include employee, spouse, and dependents. Lodging must be furnished on the employer's business premises at the convenience of employer and as a condition of employment, housekeeper,etc.

Section 132 all the others, no additional cost service, qualified employee discount, working condition fringe, etc.

Elements of no additional cost, like - if you reserve something, then that's not a no additional cost services, once they've reserved the seat, it's compensation. There's an additional step. Delta and American can cut a deal to allow reciprocal agreements for employees all in the same industries. If it's not qualified, it's gross income. Lady in example works for holding company, so all the subs as well.

Whenever payer buys goods or services for less than FMV as form of compensation, then the difference is included in income unless the difference qualifies as a recognised employee discount.

If the difference btw the FMV of the property/services and that what the taxpayer paid is a qualified employee discount, then a taxpayer does not take the difference into income, basis in property = fmv.

Then there's a slide about qualified employee discount, and you can't sell it for less than what you paid for it.

10: Compensation for injury/Sickness
$62 (a) 20, e, 104 (a,c) 105 9-c, 106 a.

Sections 104/5 exclude from gross income certain amounts received on account of personal physical injury or sickness.
106 a excludes from income of employer provided coverage under health and accident plans.

Raytheon defines what is deductible and what is not. lost profit damages are taxable, property damage loss is measured against basis of property to determine taxpayer's realised gain or loss. Antitrust suit damages are taxable, because for ordinary income and loss of profits. If the suit is NOT for lost proftis but for injury to good will, then it's return of capital and not taxable.

(Certain kinds of loss events equate to realisation events)

104(a) (2) Except for (ya ya ya) gross income does not include 1) amounts received under worker's comp as compensation for personal injuries or sickness, damages, other than punitive, on account of personal physical injuries or sickness, or amounts received through accident or health insurance for personal injuries or sickness,

This distinguishes between personal physical injuries and all other injuries, including non-physical injuries and injuries to one's business or property.

If you allow someone to do something otherwise tortious, then you can't get damages, ex, if taxpayer gets paid for giving blood, she can't claim that payments constituted damages for personal injuries she incurred in giving blood.

Burke, see if it's a tort-type personal injury. Then these damages for tort are not damages received on account of personal injuries.

commissioner v. Schleier.

, 11: Fringe benefits

Chapters 12: Business and profit seeking expenses $162 is the primary business deduction in the code, and states: (a) In general, There shall be allowed as a deduction all the ordinary and necessary expenses paid or incurred during the taxable year in carrying on any trade or business, including
1) a reasonable allowance or other compensation for personal services actually rendered
2) traveling expenses including amounts for meals and lodging other than amounts which are lavish or extravagant under the circumstances) while away from home in the pursuit of a trade or business.
3) rentals or other payments required to be made as a condition to the continued use or possession, for purposes of the trade or business, of property to which the tzxpayer has not taken or is not taking title or in which he has no equity.
b) no deduction allowed for gifts or charitable contributions which exceed restrictions,
c1) can't deduct bribes, or other illegal payments. Or medicare/medicaid bribes.

Can't deduct for lobbying expenses.

Business deductions provide that net, rather than gross income, should be taxed. "personal" expenses not deductible.

What's a business expense- generally anything incurred in producing income. Reg 1.61-3(a) says, gross income = total sales - cost of goods sold.

Review $162a, 1) cost must be an "expense", 2) expense must be "ordinary" 3) it must be "necessary" 4) it must be paid or incurred during the taxable year, and 5) it must be paid or incurred in "carrying on" a "trade or business"

"ordinary" Welch v. Helvering, customary or expected in the life of a business. (payments made by a taxpayer to creditors of bankrupt employer NOT deductible)

Jenkins v. Commissioner, Conway twitty allowed to deduct as business expense amounts he repaid to investors in his defunct fast food venture, Twitty Burger. Can one person, Conway Twitty, deduct the expenses of another person, Twitty burger? we must (1) ascertain the purpose or motive of the taxpayer in making the payments and (2) determine whether there is a sufficient connection between the expenditures and the taxpayer's trade or business.
Respondent said no, there wasn't any business purpose in his reimbursing these people and also he had no involvement. Twitty/Jenkins sez; I wanted to protect my rep as a country music singer. Just 'cos he didn't HAVE to make the payments doesn't mean that it isn't deductible.
"ordinary" to be distinguished from capital expenditures such as reputation (goodwill) or learning.

Anyway, you can't pay insurance on the president and expect to deduct it.

Gilliam, taxpayer has fit on airplane and then has to pay $$, wants to deduct legal costs etc. Commission says, you shouldna had a fit. Not ordinary.

Dancer, taxpayer wanted to deduct costs incurred in negligence action from car accident while traveling on business. Yah this didn't further business in any economic sense, but there's a direct relationship between the expenditure and the business.

Is it necessary? Palo Alto Town and Countr Village, Inc. v. Commissioner, maintaining airplane on standby basis was necessary cost. Although not used with sufficient frequency, saved a pile of $ on a couple of occasions, and it was appropriate and helpful to the business. But in Henry, ct decided that Yacht with "1040" pennant was not a good deduction.


I really want to tell (my friend) that her dress makes her chest look, ah, particularly imposing, but I do not think she will like this.
$162 a/m
Ordinary and necessary
Trade or business
$195
$212.
-13, 9/25

How is School?

So let me tell you about what all has been happening with me recently (meaning: today), since some of the major car drama has passed.

Well, today I went to the GAWL breakfast and the ever-lovely and successful, per Trey, and I have every reason to concur, Jessica, asks me How's School?

And I make an unhappy Meh kind of noise.

I should let the both of y'all that actually read this and care know what school is like this term.

I am taking four classes, an externship at a non-profit, which I will decline to name, and because this is the busy season at (where I work) I am working like 25 hours a week. Plus going to the Autozone.

Let's discuss classes. I have con law (required), Evidence, (required), Tax (elective) and Corporations (elective).

I really, really hate con law because I have NO idea what is going on in that class. We go through one or two cases every day and all we ever seem to talk about is the separation of powers. I miss the Socratic method- this lecture thing is not working for me because the material is- to say it is dry and difficult? It's like eating an entire Ikea particleboard bookcase. I also miss (My first term contracts' professor and Property professor and Torts professor's) method of here's the rule, here are the elements, here's how you apply it.

I like Evidence because our professor is very engaging and clear. Same thing with tax, and the Corporations professor -let's rephrase what I was originally going to say- manages to make material that would otherwise be dull engaging.

But I am having a hard time keeping up with the work, partially because of everything else that has happened, partially because I am out of brain power time I return home. I've already started stressing about finals but I think after this week, I should be settled into the new term. I have to keep forcing myself to eat as well, because when I get stressed, I don't eat. And I haven't had time to cook.

Olga asked me, rather surprised, was I still going to the GAWL breakfasts?

Well, yes, the people are wonderful and excellent contacts, and if I can just go to sleep before 2, life would be good! And it wouldn't be so bad that I was staying up until 2 except that- I am not exactly being as productive as I should be during that time, but I am- well, let's say I'm preparing for my next trip to Nashville. And today I went to the Dekalb Bar Association luncheon, which was very nice, and best of all FREE because I was a guest, and someone who was the executive assistant to the CEO summed up Vernon Jones' administration, casting a positive light on it. It was certainly more interesting than con law, despite what you doubters may say.

Let me point out early that Alex ADMIRES Vernon Jones because he "has a posse" and is "smooth."

Anyway, so school is- well, I think I may finish December '09 instead of May '10, because with the externship plus the two Austria courses, I have almost an entire semester extra! Yay! If I take one more externship (and hopefully something- more along the corporate/immigration/SEC/Fed reserve lines this time) or one extra course, I'll have piles of credits. A fair amount of it is in fact like eating an entire Ikea particleboard bookcase.

O and let's just not discuss the parking situation. The deck I like best because it has a lift and as y'all know I have to drag half of my house with me everywhere I go fills up by 10. The second deck, which I do not like, has much smaller spaces - although, oddly, this is not a problem, despite the fact that Moby Dick is larger than most NY studio apartments, it fits easily into the spaces- was also full today, and then my third resort, Grady, was also full, so I ended up having to park, like, on the moon! Do not want!

So what about your externship?

Well, the first day I got all dressed up and went, and then I discovered, much to my dismay, that they wanted me to do actual WORK. I was like, ! but look! I'm wearing a suit! I'm the only person wearing a suit! Look how decorative I am and- can't I just make coffee or something? I won't make it chewy unless you want me to!

No, they wanted me to do an actual memo, which- was one of those traumatising experiences the details of which I have done my best to forget. I- um. Let's say I was not proud of what I first came up with, and with good reason, but I did improve on it.

Anyway, I have had a variety of interesting experiences and projects. It is valuable work experience because, as our faculty advisor reminded us, YOU are paying to do this, and I am, not just in tuition but also in - $8 parking each time I go. So I can make mistakes (that I can learn from, mind you!) and they don't have to actually count because- the office seems fairly laid back. The whole deadline thing is- not really happening and that disturbs me. I work BETTER under pressure. I don't have to be completely stressed about the work being perfect the first time.

But there is one lady (out of the 7 people who work there) who has loud speakerphone conversations with her door open, and that annoys me to no end(you have to remember I haven't had to work WITH others in over 8 years). Lady! I do not need to hear about where exactly the person you are ringing went on vacation! Either shut the door or don't bloody speakerphone!

And I was a little miffed because I had expected them to be - well- friendlier- and I thought they would invite me to lunch, and then they didn't.

Then last Friday they DID invite me to lunch, and I was immediately sorry, to the point that I had to get up from the table and pick up everyone's trash and I should have just pretended I had a call and left. But I am too polite, or something.

Why did I object to this? Well, one lady started a sentence with "I'm a socialist because. . . " and I thought, I just can't combat stupidity on such a grand scale- it's like swinging a bat at an aircraft carrier. Christen it, perhaps, with champagne, but not combat it, or even discuss it. And then one gentlemen said he was watching the Republican convention and one lady gave him chills, so I thought, I'd best find out who this is - she is most likely admirable- because she said, "There are people who think Government should be a philanthropic organisation," and he said, "What's wrong with that?" and LAUGHED.

Again, I can't combat imbecility on such a grand scale; that has much to do with why I quit teaching. But remember if Government were responsible for philanthropy, your organisation wouldn't exist because I don't see that a government is going to fund an organisation dedicated to overturning its laws.

There was quite a bit of discussion about self-loathing Log Cabin Republicans.

I shall beg off should they invite me again, it was nice but thanks but no thanks.

In unrelated news, I have a triumph to report! Y'all know I hate-detest-abhor- going to the petrol station because it is boring and full of useless creepy people, not like the elves who may be sort of creepy but are also useful.

Yesterday on the way home from dinner Alex tries to Intentionally Inflict Emotional Distress on me and chortles as he pulls into the petrol station. Backwards, because I also do not like going backwards. Ha ha, he said, now you have to go to the petrol station. But his plan tragically failed in the face of Cruella's indomitability!

How, you ask?

First of all, I had something to read in the back seat, a programme for some play that Alex had seen (in French for some reason) that I had never heard of about airplanes and the displaced. I do not know if it had Dick Cheney pretending to be an airplane, but it should have. Something called Voir un ami pleurer, I think. And I had Ulysses, which I quoted from to prove its incomprehensibility.

Then as he was filling the car up, some man (I hesitate to use the word gentleman) suddenly roars up in a Protege and starts haranguing Alex about what his political views are and asks him a whole bunch of questions. This is not a pollster. This is some random nutjob. Perhaps he was hitting on Alex; that would induce much squirming in Alex.

"He doesn't have any political views!" I shout from the back seat. "you're milking a dry cow!"

This does not deter him. He asks Alex a long series of rapid fire questions, claiming that it is because he has just had a long discussion with his friends and doesn't understand what is going on so had to get someone else's point of view.

Alex does not like this at all; and I gleefully point out to him that that is what he deserves for inflicting the petrol station on me- some random nutjob came and harassed HIM. Ha, ha!

O and I have an additional plan to inflict Emotional distress on Alex, which if I told you about, he would know, but it is a good one. It is like a Beach Ball.

Monday, September 08, 2008

How Many Cars Does Cruella Have?

So I was all ready to get up and Be Productive and such and then: car drama.
Lady Thatcher is not operable at the moment allegedly due to an ignition module. I was able to get the coil pack off and then now it’s just replacing the actual module. For some reason- I doubt that is what is wrong but that’s what Rob (Mr. Buick) said so fine.

The Cadillac was not operable due to a dead battery but Friday I replaced the battery. Now it is fine operable except for there is a horrible noise coming from the brakes and the A/C doesn’t work. Also the TV cable needed to be adjusted or it won’t shift. I did not tell y’all about every bit of drama involved with the Cadillac but there was a lot, largely because Mitch got murdered.

Sailor Moon, we discovered, despite having gone to mechanic school sponsored by the Seventh-Day-Adventists, does not know what a T.V. cable (hint: it’s NOT Comcastic) is and is deeply befuddled by the instructions and such I had printed out. What DID you learn in missionary-mechanic school? I asked him.

Not to buy GM cars! he exclaimed, and chortled.

Well the car he had and that ran the longest was a LUMINA so I do not know about the wisdom of his advice, besides, it is a little late.

Today I was like, I’ll get the T.V. cable adjusted, then the emissions done on the Cadillac and then have it tested. This was after Dad’s main car refused to start.
He is considering buying another car, specifically, a Camry- which- a Camry is like the Brain Slug of cars, right? it just sucks up all your joie de vivre. Sandi would say it did not suck up enough of Daniel’s joie de vivre but that is more because Daniel makes (well, used to make) everyone else suffer from his excess of joie-de-vivre.

First I thought, well, the Cutlass is certainly worth fixing- there can’t be THAT much wrong with it. It should last much longer. Just with a few necessary repairs, he doesn’t need a new car, I can get the Cadillac to run and then he can use the minivan more or less permanently. But no, it seems to be heading for the Every Month Something is Going To Expensively Break Paradigm.

So I borrowed his spare car (Ruby) until I can get the Cadillac tagged and emissioned. I take Ruby to ask people “Do you know what a T.V. cable is?”

No one does, and I refuse to drop hints (it’s not a vegetable! Not an animal! Not
Comcastic!) on the theory that if you’ve never heard of it, you won’t know how to fix it.

At any rate, it does get adjusted, and it goes to get emissioned. Everything is fine except for the gas cap, I have to go buy a gas cap. Fine. Then I think, I will go home, drive Ruby, and deal with tagging Cadillac Wednesday. Progress, yes? Is good, yes? I can now go to school and finish the readings I did not finish while (sort of) watching Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People. I am so productive!

Ruby, upon returning home, decides it has had all the excitement it can stand for one day and clicks but will not start. I wiggle the battery cables. No help. I abandon the now-sulking Ruby and now have to move every single thing out of the Buick(s) pack my lunch, go get the Cadillac tagged, and hurry to school. I did not want to drive the Cadillac without a tag. At night, in the dark.
So now I am driving the Cadillac so Dad can keep the minivan for at least the rest of the week.

Were you able to count how many cars I have? The first person with the right answer wins a Prize. (hee!)