My Day

What is it you do all day, Cruella? Don't you have a job yet?

No, I do not have a job yet, because there aren't any. At all. I am considering giving up the very small bit of principle I had left and just doing any kind of law but there aren't any jobs anywhere. I can't get hired for anything I used to do because everyone looks at my resume and says, well, you have a law degree, you're overqualified.

I even applied at Autozone. No luck.

So I am trying to find and apply for jobs but there aren't any, so- - - I have to do other things with my day.

This is what I do:

Morning: Wake up to "Don Giovanni;" Try to get up and out of bed in time to A) fix breakfast for self and Black Rook B) fix breakfast before Black Rook can come in the kitchen and see what I am doing and object.

Sometimes I am distracted in this process because there is Black Rook and his feathers are all large and waving around.

Then while I am cooking breakfast, Black Rook goes into the bath and I am entertained by him shrieking at the spiders in the bath.

Then we have breakfast and he goes to work and then I have to look for jobs. Some of my job looking for time is compromised to an extent by the need to see what fat ugly people have most recently worn to Wal Mart. I may not have a job, I think, but I didn't go out in public looking like that.

Then there aren't any jobs to apply for so I look for something that needs doing around the house. . . . it is too hot to go pick bones from the compost heap to glue on mannequin heads and put in the yard so I do laundry instead. While moving the mattress to put a sort of toy in between, I introduce the mattress to the ceiling fan and break a blade on the ceiling fan. The blades on the ceiling fan appear to be composed of something resembling cardboard in cheapness, but extremely thin glass in fragility.

That is enough for me so I see who can I argue with on Facebook/Yahoo Messenger/Gmail. I talk to "Robin" and tell him what I am eating; I am still doing the reduced carb thing. We also talk about politics and religion and I tell him what MTM did most recently to aggravate me.

Then I think about do I want to pickle and can anything? Do I have enough motivation and need to go to the grocery store? I decide against this. I have enough food at home, or if not, then I shall cook something.

Black Rook arrives home and I am promptly distracted by his Magic Wand. Then I try to talk him into studying for the GRE before din-din.

Black Rook and I have a very hard time studying for the GRE. In two 45 minute sessions, we have managed to get through 4 problems.

This is because during the first session, first there was a roach that flew at him and I had to squish it, and then I picked it up by its leg and made airplane-dive-bomber noises and thrust it towards him, and he pulled the covers over his head and shrieked, and threatened to go home, and then he criticised my handwriting, so we didn't get anything done the previous session.

The second session, he didn't like the math and didn't much want to do it.

Then it is time for dinner. I take dishes which just got washed in the dishwasher out and want to put food on them, and he takes the dishes and wants to wash them again because he doesn't think they are clean enough.

Then he puts American Cheese singles and bacon on my Slap-the-Godfather-Eggplant-Lasagna. I am noisily horrified. I think he should spend purgatory deboning chickens a la Julia Child with only black and white photos as instruction.

I congratulate myself on a successful din din.

Then we go to bed. More shrieking at spiders ensues. This makes me giggle uncontrollably.

We decide to watch a movie I purchased (!) at Wal-Mart, "The Players Club," featuring Ice-Cube.

Cruella, you purchased what? I thought you only liked films, that are in French, in black and white, or both.

This is true. Most of the things I watch are films, and most of them are either in French, in black and white, or both, I like to watch well crafted films (meaning no cliches) that make powerful statements about the human condition or character. This is also why I have resisted watching, despite Black Rook's interest, "Legally Blonde." My Dad got that for me and then I was embarassed. Ugh, it's so cliched.

But now, this movie. I purchased THIS movie on recommendation from Black Rook, largely because it featuring a truly awesome scene involving strippers, one who looks trashy like Lucky (whom I hate), arguing and then fighting.

I am accused of being "ghetto" for being absolutely glued to the computer while Black Rook is showing me this.

"Well, what about you?" I ask. "You showed it to me." Besides, I love movies in which people argue, and then they fight, and this had LOTS of that kind of thing. I don't like, for example, "Rocky" type movies because no one is arguing. I need them to argue, and then fight, and the trashier looking, the better. Girls with blonde weave and fake nails and eyelashes and stripper heels fighting? I love it!

At any rate, the plot of this film features a young lady who is pregnant at the beginning of the movie and then wants to go to one college, but her father doesn't want to pay for that college so she moves out and becomes a stripper after being insulted by strippers at the shoe store where she works. The one stripper looks like a warthog- I suppose no one looks at their faces- and the other one is exquisitely trashy. She is just the be-all end all of exquisite trashiness with elaborate blond wig and fake nails and everything.

The young lady appears to be in college for both Bush administrations because her child is seen being dropped off at her mother's house and looks to be about 8. Now my question is that her parents are obviously respectable looking people, and Daddy goes on to wave a gun in a very serious manner around a gentleman caller, but - no one seems to stop her from stripping. Which- she does like a kindergarten teacher would, let it be said a SOBER kindergarten teacher. I am not 100% certain what hetero-sexy is but I sure know it when I don't see it.

There's some various more "plot" involved including a cousin who comes from somewhere and our young lady is told to "take care of her" and cousin starts stripping with young lady, and then Bernie Mac gets amusingly assaulted, and there is a fairly pointless cameo appearance by someone named Luke who Black Rook informs me is from "2 Live Crew," and I question does anyone listen to them anymore, 'cos that I know was so like 1992. This Luke person is apparently at least in part responsible for a ?song? called "Me So Horny."

I do not feel a bit ashamed for putting most of today's society's ills at the feet of this Luke person. And yes, I did watch this entire movie, and yes, it did make me feel cheap and dirty.

I think probably what made me feel cheap and dirty is that while the movie is clearly voyeuristic trash aimed at people who want to see scantily clad women fight and other silliness, the attempt to make the main character into something of a better person than her compatriots seems absurd and forced, and shameful. In the end, the movie's shame for what it itself is made me feel cheap and dirty for watching it.

I am certain there are strippers who are people, and quite possibly good people, but I don't want anyone to serve me trash and call it steak. I like my trash unredeemed and properly trashy, like Pink Flamingos, where Divine is trashy and competes to be even trashier and remains gleefully so throughout the film. I don't think trash should strut around giving itself airs as though it's ashamed of what it is.