Thursday, February 11, 2010

Preparing for Snow In Atlanta

So Y'all, apparently it is going to snow tomorrow in Atlanta, and this sucks sucks sucks because I have class tomorrow, and Saturday, and Sunday- - -

And I really want to know, what is the whole deal with people running out to the grocery stores and clearing them of bread and milk when it snows? Is there some special thing people make with bread and milk when it snows that I don't know about? People who have eaten nothing but frozen pizzas and Slim Jims since leg warmers were fashionable are buying bread and milk.

Y'all this is Atlanta, and while I am thoroughly in favour of your asses staying the heck home when it snows, cos God knows Atlantans cannot drive in any kind of weather whatsoever, we are going to get like a quarter inch and if you try really hard you might scrape up enough to make a clay snowman and it is going to melt in about two hours. You are not going to be trapped in your house for a week.

Also, why don't the liquor stores get emptied out? If I thought i was going to be trapped in my house for a week, it would be much more reasonable to stock up on gin.

I've been waiting for Rush to blame Obama for the blizzards and then for Obama to turn around and blame the Bush administration.

Anyhow, it did snow, and a whole LOT of it, but I did not enjoy it. So I was checking on the weather Friday in class post lunch, and the minute I saw it was coming down, I fled.

My feeling about snow is: White flaky death! I cannot drive in it! Other people cannot drive in (actually, any kind of weather) Aaah aaah aaah!

The Kaplan lady was amazed at this. You're leaving because it's SNOWING? she asked.

Yes, I said. She clearly felt this was cowardly, but I am from Atlanta. I know better.

A large number of people showed up to class the next day, apparently, but I was not among them on account of, you know, white flaky DEATH aaah aaah aaah.

I came up with this analogy:

Snow, you are like Paris Hilton. You may be pretty, but you are also cold, white, useless, unnecessary, cause wrecks, and I don't want to stick my wang in either one of you.

"Robin" had a hard time not complimenting me on this. "I don't want to stroke your ego," he started with.

O really. He is not really aware of the whole bar-syndrome thing, where I have to learn all the priorities for Purchase Money Security interests, and what a holder in due course is and mortgage priorities, and so forth, and really? There's something wrong with this?

Rebecca suggested we make a snow whore. I think that is a great idea, if I could venture out from bar prep land.

I listened to Sarah Palin's tea party speech. How's that hopey-changey thing workin out for ya?

Now I have a question, did you ever notice that when the Democrats start getting scared of a Republican, they mock them as stupid?

I really do not know how smart Sarah Palin is, but if someone broadsided me with the kind of questions she got right out of the box, I wouldn't do well either. Hillary is better prepared, I will give her that, she's been preparing for this her entire life.

But in terms of savvy politicking, the woman's got it down, and is building a pretty impressive brand.

Anyway, I am still stuck in Bar Prep land, B-4 days and counting, and frankly there is no way I am going to be able to cram all this in my head at once.

I am vacillating between hope and despair, and have settled on some kind of acceptance. On the one hand, I have the little voice saying, 94% of ga staters pass on the first try! you'll be ok! no one can know ALL of what's on the bar! You dreaded the LSAT and did fine! There will be people in there who didn't take a class and spent a few weeks with someone else's books, etc! You took both classes! And then there's the other voice that says, yah but what about the 6% who don't pass, and the passage rates for February are lower, and you know you haven't studied as much as some of the other people, (or any of the other people) who have done 75 questions a day and 4 essays and you haven't-

Well, I think I'm going to manage this like - do you remember (no you don't) that CRX C/D built in the '80s which had one engine in front and one engine in the back? I am going to use my Positive attitude to pull me from the front and my, um, areas of opportunity to push me from behind, or vice versa, and keep plugging away.

In the end, I think I've found some kind of acceptance. I'm going to keep plugging away, and making cards, and doing a few questions, and on Tuesday and Wednesday, I'll know what I know, and of course I don't want to fail but if I do, it's not as though they're going to kill you for failing. I'll certainly be better prepared the next round.

"Robin" also pointed out that I had failed to note he had flowers sent to me for Valentine's Day. This is true. I am an unappreciative so and so, because I failed to note this and they are truly lovely flowers.
So I shall now publicly thank him.
Now he says he's in cheap mode, so I daresay that puts paid to the future of flowers and now I'll be getting sticks from the side of the road artistically arranged.

bar bar bar bar Bar bar prep
bar bar bar bar Bar bar prep

Bar bar prep, i'll wish for death
over Bar bar prep

You got me hatin' and a-waitin'
waitin' and a-stressin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

Went to law school, 'cos it seemed cool
now graduated so bar prep is the rule
Bar bar prep Bar bar prep
one last step
You got me hatin' and a-waitin'
(Oh! Oh!)
stressin' and a-guessin'
Bar bar prep ba ba

Ba ba ba ba Bar bar prep
Ba ba ba ba Bar bar prep

Bar bar prep, wish for death
over bar bar prep
You got me stressin' and a-guessin'
hatin' and a-waitin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

con law, contracts, holder in due course,
Civ pro, miki pao, I don't really know,

bar bar prep ba ba
ba bar bar prep,
bar bar prep.

Learnt the UCC
Learnt the RAP
Learnt the MBE
I only need two Seventy-ee
Bar bar prep
wish for death
Bar bar prep
one last step
You got me stressin' and a-waitin'
guessin' and a-hatin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

Ba ba ba ba Bar bar prep
Ba ba ba ba Bar bar prep
Bar bar prep
one last step
Bar bar prep
You got me learnin' and a-burnin'
tossin' and a-turnin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

Bar bar prep, Bar bar prep
Oh, Bar bar prep, Bar bar prep
Yeah, Bar bar prep, Bar bar prep
Bar bar prep, Bar bar prep
You got me learnin' and a-yearnin'
stressin' and a-burnin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

(Let's never try that again. No more.)

You got me guessin' and a-stressin'
learnin' and a-burnin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

(Ha ha. Let's never do this again.)

fourteenth amendment rights,
long sleepless nights,
due process, and I'll try to do my best,
Bar bar prep, ba ba, ba bar bar prep
ba bar prep.

Holder in due course, no use of deadly force,
Dormant commerce clause, can I take a little pause?
First Amendment speech, non material breach,
promissory estoppel, on test day rings a bell,
acceptance and 4th amendment rights

You got me stressin' and a-guessin'
strainin' my poor brainin'
Bar bar prep ba ba
Ba Bar bar prep

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Flat Out of Perky

Y'all I am flat out of Perky, all drained from Bar Prep, which has been going on Forever. It is like purgatory. It would be Hellish if it were taught by Hillary Clinton, speaking of whom, it has been frigid, blustery, gray, and damp. This weather brought to you by Hillary Clinton's c*nt.

Hee. Anyway yesterday, first we had a man who was bright orange, like George Hamilton, and I envisioned him going around on the beach asking students about the rules of evidence and the exceptions to the character evidence rule and then kicking sand in the faces of law students who answered correctly.

His orangeness was explained by some of the other students as "He's Hispanic."

No. Hispanics are brown, or yellowish brown, not orange. This dude was- it was not good, and then we had a chap with orange spectacles and an orange wig explain con law to us and I was so sorry.

Frankly at this point, I am very Over It. I'm rather thinking, 94% of Ga Staters pass on the first try or whatever and I've been going to class and I did some practice problems and such so I should pass and to hell with, like, studying hard. All I care about is PASSING. 271 baby! I do not need to get one single point over that. I do not care.

Then I am also low on perky because my new friend that I was writing about? Things were going well with him? Then he got a job in Jacksonville and moved. So I am very disappointed. I am trying to be Positive and say things like, well, at least you had fun, or God is just saving someone really special up for you!

God had better be saving Vin Diesel up for me. That's what I am thinking. And "Robin" is making noises about going back to Memphis instead and is not realistically coming to Atlanta so.

Now I have to try again, and then last night I went to a party and there was a lawyer there I recognised from the Ga State Alumni Happy Hour and I thought, this is MTM as a gay man. He seemed so stereotypically gay, and queeny and demanding and bitchy, there was just something about him that made me think, ew.

Cruella, what about your one friend that came to your birthday?

Well, I just don't think we are- do you remember how Daniel was trying to make fun of me for being the catcher? Yah. I will explain this further if you really want to know.

And speaking of MTM, I think our DD did me a favour because I have not heard from her sinc ethe party, and it was - I am lacking in the courage to tell someone, I am done with you, but DD certainly did.

Cruella, what is DD?

Designated Drunk.

O.

Anyhow, it was just time for that to end, I was getting jack squat out of it, really, and although she has many good qualities, it's just- when you don't ask someone how are you, how are things going, but just demand their presence, it's like, you're my dog and must come running when I call. No, I think people get over that.