Why Don't You Go Date Some Nice White Guy, Part II?

Well Cruellaland is pretty much flat out of fun. If Cruellaland were a theme park, it would feature 12 hour waits to do 30 page papers about business tax, so, yah. And something somewhere around here smells bad, which is- is that a surprise? No.

(I didn't publish this when I should have but here y'all go)

So how was Halloween?

It was - well, I would have liked a little more excitement, I can honestly say. I didn't end up dressing up, because I didn't have time; the "yarny law student" was cumbersome and - no, did not work. Everyone came, had a couple of drinks, and left. I think next year I'll do it the week before so as to have less competition. Also- That Girl didn't come, so there were some advantages. "Robin" also didn't come. We have been having some discussions about that.

Yah and what else is going on with all that?

Well, I made some Big Decisions I think after I realised that - I don't think I really want to get married to any of the guys in my phone. So I tried the whole get it by putting out and that didn't work, and I think if I'm not going to get what I want, at least let me not get it by doing it my way. I end up with the same nothing, but still some integrity.

And your date Friday night?

I'm not dating a 40 year old pizza delivery man with a beard/stache and a potbelly. Apparently- and we need to put this up- "athletic build" now extends to "I can still see my feet."

Also I am so stressed I think I am losing interest in sex. But I'm not really getting what I want or need, so it's time to reevaluate.

I want a date, where some nice (and reasonably good looking!) man takes me somewhere and we look at art or eat dinner or some such.

I want to snuggle.

I want to build a real life with someone.

It's time for me to stop compromising on those things, and I tried and this isn't working so there.

I dunno, maybe I'll meet someone later at work. I rather wish that my supervisor at my externship had sexually harassed me, it would have been quite welcome. But- I'm trying to learn to be happy with what I have. I dunno what you have to do, because I can cook and am fun to be around and not hideous, so. Maybe people are attracted to those who treat them badly. It's a mystery to me.

So I am thinking, I am going to be doing some things a little bit differently. We shall see. I'm rather at the point where I don't care whether it works or not.

Yah, I'm a little bitter, but things are looking up! See next post.