I PASSED THE BAR! ! !

So that was some serious awesomeness right there. Thank you God for making it possible and thank you to everyone around me who put up with this crap through this long! It has not been fun for most of the people around me, because I complained more than ever, but I had a lot to complain about.

Yes. I cried a little. It was that kind of crazy emotional moment, because, I had spent like weeks and weeks, and weeks, going through that Hell, and yes, I do believe taking both the Kaplan class and Bar/Bri made the difference.

Like I would have sat down and read about commercial paper on my own. I didn't do every single question in the books, nor did I do the majority of the questions, and I didn't spend a huge amount of time on the essays.

Lest you say, hey, Cruella slacked! Therefore I can too! But I did not, in fact, slack. I did spend a lot of time with the multiple choice questions, I did spend some time- 2-3 days with the essays, and did the sample Bar/Bri essay and sent it in and so forth.

Mainly, I made flash cards. Meaning that, for the main points of law, especially the ones that I missed from the multiple choice questions, I looked up the explanations and then wrote out a card for the point of law. It looks like this:

It has the broad subject material on the left, so this one says, Contracts on the left vertically, across the top, it has the narrow subject material, in this case, Statute of frauds- Land. Then on the front, in one colour ink, (brown) it has the point of law written in sentences with blanks, so it says, Contract for sale of land must be ________________ and ______________ by the party to be ________________.
Exception is doctrine of _______________ performance.
1) ____________ payment accepted by seller or 2) _______________ in possession of the land and has made ____________ payment 3)________________ is in _________________ of land and has made _____________ _____________ thereon.

Then on the back, it has all that written in orange, and the blanks filled in in red, so I will do this with italics here.

Contract for sale of land must be in writing and signed by the party to be charged .
Exception is doctrine of part performance.
1) full payment accepted by seller or 2) buyer in possession of the land and has made partial payment 3) buyer is in possession of land and has made valuable improvements thereon.

OMG! I can't believe I knew all that stuff at one time! Insane!

I made hundreds and hundreds of these things, largely because my eyes glaze over when I try to read outlines. I don't think I have any helpful tips to offer anyone about bar study, but that did seem to work for me.

So then Trey came down to celebrate with me- (yes, shut up.) And then was fine for a couple of days- we really had a good time, and then threw an ENORMOUS conniption very early in the morning, like before 5 on the day of his scheduled return and told me he had stolen my money and my car and gone to Eastside lounge and wanted to go home RIGHT THEN. Which - I was still asleep, and not in any shape to drive anyone, so that did not happen, and he stormed off and then apparently took the shuttle back, leaving his keys in the minivan. Then he is mad at me for not driving them back there.

Well that is his fault. As it turned out, he hadn't taken the car, or my wallet- there was a huge drama about that, but he didn't have to throw a huge conniption and I would have gladly taken him home at a reasonable time in the morning, with keys, and it is not my fault the post office is closed or I would have mailed them, and ya done missed the boat on getting me to drive to Chattanooga, so too bad for you.

Yah, ok, I should just stop but.

Anyway, the fire department came to our Memorial Day cookout, so my predictions of "this is going to be the same thing that we have had for the last 15-odd years" were not entirely true.

Actually, the last time we had a fire at a barbecue was ?1991? when my Dad purchased a propane grill from a ?yard sale? and then we didn't know you had to clean some tubes inside or spiders would nest in there and the thing would blow up. His neighbour who built race cars came and put it out. There was a tremendous amount of flames.

This time, he had spilt something in the oven and the smoke detector called the fire department. I was impressed, particularly by one of the Firefighters. RHS liked him too. I shoulda told him that he needed a will (because of the provision I learnt about where they get a whole bunch of money if something happens in the line of duty under Georgia law) but I didn't have any cards. She was not happy that he was talking to me.

But it wasn't a real fire. O and people I am not supposed to mention in my blog? So we got into a debate, because she was in an argumentative mood, and I am- naturally argumentative- about how first- while the Cadillac, Moby Dick, was taking its lengthy visit with the Grouchy African- Can you adversely possess a car, by the way? Probably. I think it got a mousie in it which had shredded a plastic bag under the seat. Now, yes, I should take it to the swiffy and vacuum it and all but the Swiffy never takes either my card nor my cash, so I have given up on the Swiffy. And then, for some part of this week we also had - ugh. Disassembled the steering column to put a new ignition lock on it because I am putting one of those collars on it to keep it from getting stolen- and the lock that was in it was 19 years old and the car has 254?000 miles? A lot? The speedometer is wildly optimistic, a consequence, I believe, of the previous owner putting enormous wheels on it. So I thought, once the collar goes on, nothing is going to be replaceable inside the column so I went to Autozone and then borrowed all the necessary tools and we got the lock out/off fine.

We couldn't get it back on, and if you want the lengthy explanation, I can give it to you, but we couldn't get the lockplate to go back. Not even after Anthony and I kicked each other, hard. Then I fetched a guy from Autozone and he battled with it for a while, and he couldn't get it back. Then I called AAA and had to explain to the skeptical AAA operator why it needed to be towed.

"It needs to be towed," I said.

"Why, what's wrong with it?" asked the operator.

(embarassed- and also, I was concerned that AAA would decide that the car hadn't broken down, I had taken it apart, and then they might deny me my tow.) "well, the steering wheel is off."

"It came off?" Asked the operator.

"Well, - - Yes!" I decide. It is better than the full explanation, as you can see.

Rick is bemused by the Cadillac returning so soon. It recently got its air conditioner redone. Again.

I rather think he does not appreciate having to reassemble it. I personally do not care what he thinks, what with this many aging cars in my family and self-botched repairs, Rick is probably saving money to buy the pimpiest pimping gear you ever saw.

I bet he'll get a fur coat before I do.

So at any rate, the Cadillac has a few little shreds of plastic bag on the floor, and this person was Very Concerned. She had a dish, wrapped in a plastic bag, (is there a theme here? If a plastic bag had caught fire in the oven, probably) and was Very Concerned that shreds of plastic bag would somehow permeate the bag, into the dish, and we would all choke and die.

"A lot of people," she asserted, "choke on shreds of plastic bag just like that and die every year."

Seriously.

I tried to present how this scenario would work, but she was not having it. She wanted to put Newspaper on the floor of the car.

Now that is her solution to everything, and frankly, I think it is disgusting beyond anything to see filthy newspapers all over everything.

I was not having it, so that was controversial.

Then there was the Matter of the Corn. Of course, modern types no longer boil a large variety of vegetables, we roast them. But she was converted.

Also I went hiking with Amber, and Alex, and Amy, and her boyfriend Joey, and Joe! Much fun was had, and we saw a toad, and a few flowers!

You Are "Endearing!"

Said the lady who I am currently doing an internship in Wills and Trusts for.

This was the result of an exchange in which she commented that the low income housing near where she lives is being turned down and she was concerned about where they were going to go.

"Snellville," I said, "My friend lives out there and it is getting really bad!"

She then told me I was endearing.

Well Hell Yes, is what I say to that, as long as by "endearing" she means "cute and a little quirky" sort of like, Parker Posey? Maybe? I'm saying, that's a good thing to be, because although unprompted I don't think anyone would come up with "endearing" as a top quality they want to have in a coworker/subordinate, if given a list of things, then I think they would put that at the top.
Or close to it, as opposed to, say, "aggressive asshole," "anal-retentive shrew," "intimidatingly brilliant," "passive aggressive whiner," "control freak," "dithery idiot," (oo, I really hate the last one), you know the people you hate working with.

And I'm nice to look at, and smell good, and have a chirpy personality and am full of Good Cheer.

She remarked upon this also.

"You seem like," she said, "if someone traveled with you, you would find the good in every situation."

This is true, and that is because, after one teaches at McNair, nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of your life.

So I am thinking, sooner or later, I HAVE to get a job out of this. I keep plugging away, and this morning someone told me that job is out there looking for me.

Well, she was running for office, but so why can't it find me already? Like I go anywhere, except for Autozone and Wal-Mart. Which- the other day, everyone-EVERYONE in the Autozone recognised me and the manager gave me a 10% discount.

I was thrilled, I would much rather be recognised by the manager of the autozone than the Detox supply store or- I dunno that it would be THAT bad to be recognised by the manager of the sex toy store, because that could mean that I am having lots and lots of interesting sex. By the way, which I am Not, because as previously mentioned, Men Are Stupid.

It would help had I met some but I haven't anyway so. Despite going to the Autozone a lot. Perhaps I should frequent a gay Autozone, if there is such a thing. And I don't go out to bars because that always seems to end in disaster.

I'm getting kinda ok with that. I am not happy, but I'm also not being desperate enough to make bad choices like chase after someone who doesn't care or just be with anyone to be with someone. So, if that has passed me by, I am not going to be happy about it, but I'm going to make the best of it.

Speaking of people who are NOT making the best of it, so A Certain Person rings me and is all whiny about how people are treating her badly, and yelling at her and such.

I am of two minds about this, which I try to meld. This is complicated, because I am trying to be Sympathetic yet Firm, because- Hi! People are being mean to you because you are being an Ass!

As in, how about you moved back in with your parents in your Thirties, aren't looking for a job, aren't helping out at home, and are being an alcoholic slut all over town and then getting into trouble, where your mom had to hire a lawyer to the tune of -many thousands of dollars, and then you aren't doing what the lawyer told you to do to get this off your record, so, yah, of course people aren't happy with you.

So I told her she needed to take some ownership, and she got mad, and I told her a good friend is there to help you walk tall.

Now this same girl- came over a couple of ? months ago? and brought some friend she met at a party, then we - you know- then she - after two days- claimed she had "fallen in love" and "mixed babies were so cute". (!) Really (!) Then in another two days she wasn't returning his phone calls, although he called her like 13 times in a row, because "he was too immature."

A) WTF?
B)WTF?
C)WTF?
Etc., etc.

Ima say, at least could you get to know someone, for more than a day, while you were moderately sober, before you make the conclusion to fall in love? And you're about as well equipped to take care of the baby as- Lindsey Lohan? or some other tramp. That baby gonna come out with three eyes from you drink so much. And you're living in your parents' house, no income, not looking for a job, and you want a baby from a man you don't know. Ok then.

So fine, don't have a baby, get married, you could get to know him, date, etc, and you have NO grounds to criticise someone because "he's too immature" for smoking weed every day when you are beet-red-drunk every day. You aren't any better.

And - return calls, people, it's just rude. If you can't be decently honest enough to say, "I think you are very nice but I just didn't feel the sparks," you can totally make up an excuse like, "My Sister's Cat is getting Married and I have to be Best Man/Bridesmaid at the Wedding."
Now I have been telling the guys who- yah, I am not that desperate dude- you are fugly and in your forties delivering pizzas- which, if you were off the charts in a good way on one or the other characteristics, like, you were a little fugly, but stupendously successful, or super hot, but a forty year old pizza delivery boy, that could work, but the combination, plus an asshole personality? No, I done told you! My boyfriend moved down here from Nashville. So stop.

But I told her, tell him you're trying to get your life together and you aren't really in the right place in your life for a relationship, that's a good way to solve that problem, right?

Not according to her. She's choosing the really mature (sarcasm here) means of - ignore him a good deal of the time.

Now I am not some shining example of how to live one's life and I make mistakes (lots of them) and bad choices and etc but I do try to stop and pick myself back up and work towards a goal in the future instead of just denying reality. I'm wondering if this alcoholism comes from being so self-centred that you deny reality and then get into these kinds of fixes. And the job thing, I told her, why don't you be an executive assistant? You're smart, and pretty, and - yah, that characteristic- and capable.

No, she says, I don't want to take orders from people.

Well then. You don't want a job, you won't treat anyone around you decently, it's me me me all the time, and I don't know what she lives off of, I imagine her parents, so- it's not going to get any better, unless you work towards it.

Damn all these people who are "waiting on their ship to come in." It AIN'T COMIN' IN! YOU GOTTA GET OUT THERE AND BUILD THE DAMN THING!

Cruella Suffered an Attack of the Gout

Y'all look at the awesome cake I made for Alex! Isn't that - filthy? He was fairly emotionally distressed by this.

First of all, I was MAJORLY disappointed in the below link. I thought it would be much more interesting. Well, I think it would behttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif more impressive in person.

Also, I feel a little sad when I look at that, because I am like the world's stupidest looking dancer. There are photographs, even more damningly, on Facebook. White folks' bodies just do not do that.

O and y'all, I suffered from an Attack of the Gout, which - shut up, it wasn't funny, your big toes swell up and you can't walk. This was because of an unfortunate combination of Allergies, Alcohol, Aspirin, and Atkins.

First of all, I had/have whatever nastiness is going around now, be it a cold or allergies, I feel rotten. I had had salami and cream cheese for lunch, and then I still felt rotten, so I took my whole handful of pills and then drank some rum.

The next morning, my big toes were hugely swollen! This was TERRIBLE! Shut up, it's not funny. Really. Then I figured out that Salami has a large concentration of purines or whatever and then- that, plus alcohol, plus aspirin, = gout. Ow. And I had to hobble around like a gimp.

And more guy stupidity. So It was Amber's birthday, and my friend met us, and then he got something to eat (Taco Mac was apparently insufficient) and then he came over and I read a little more and finished my beer and went to bed.

Now Friend was in town for a funeral, so the next day he was to attend the funeral, and I was to go to work and then we were supposed to meet afterwards.

Never heard back from him. And this was a dude who made Sandi and Daniel a baby blanket for Isabella and fed-exed it to me. I didn't even have the time or opportunity to offend him.

Yes, I do realise he had other engagements but - you can't take 5 seconds to text and say, sorry, can't make it? or what?

Stupid boys.

Much to my astonishment, Amber LIKED her birthday present, even after repeated assurances by me that she didn't have to, and she didn't have to keep it.

Cruella, what did you do to Amber for her birthday?

It wasn't my doing! It was Girth-I-Tude's!

Your mink?

Yes, she did it. She also made Alex the naked lady cake.

Omg . . . what did Girth-I-Tude do?

She made Amber a piece of "conceptual art" with a mannequin head, feathers, and an empty bottle of gin.

Um. She LIKED this?

As far as I could tell! And we went to something called "FarmBurger" in Decatur which was really good, and not hugely expensive for Decatur. Here it is, so you can see a picture of it. I have been planting them in the yard, too. I have been using bottles of different heights; the intention is that they will appear to be rising out of the ground as they get closer to the street.



huh. That should help the lady across the street sell her house, and - aren't you slightly concerned that you are NEVER going to meet someone this way? It's kinda- you have a dead animal that you named and wear, and then mannequin heads coming out of the ground, now- that's just a little off putting there.

I kinda do not care. Maybe if I tried acting normal, that would work, but how long would that actually pan out?

Well, I have been planting a garden, although no rain= no plants growing, and then "Robin" came to visit for two and a half weeks, he couldn't go home because of the flooding in Nashville-

But he doesn't live in Nashville anymore?

No, he doesn't, he lives in Memphis, but he wanted to go home through Nashville.

O and let me also say, he was going on and on about being in "cheap" mode, and then he spent $180 for a pair of bicycle shorts.

Also, we went shopping, but not too much. He wanted the bicycle shorts, and then I looked around at all the bicycle stuff. They have some kind of gel and I was confused about whether you were supposed to eat it, as it was orange flavoured, or smear it on yourself, but it turned out you are supposed to eat it.

I clearly am not interested in doing anything that could involve eating gel. Yuck. Unless they are like, body shots, but that's different.

And I did finally get the Cadillac back from the Grouchy African, and it looks a right mess, because the paint doesn't match and the bumper isn't straight and he painted over the repeaters and the plastic trim bits on the bumper are primer gray and not silver-

But I have it back. Technically, since it is now visiting with Rick to get the A/C fixed- again-since all the refrigerant leaked out.

And then the last time I visited Rick, I think he was getting paid in, ah, "services" as in I went to go look for him, and he was aroudn the corner with a youngish- scantily dressed bewigged lady adjusting his fly.

Huh, I am thinking, I wonder would that work for me?