Cruella Goes On and On

Cruella, what are you doing these days?

I am currently in Columbia, SC, working on a temporary project. This is ok. It is hideously boring but better than nothing. That is all I can say about it. What I can talk more about is I did find a cute place to stay, with a lady, and I am paying $500/month, which seems a little high- but- she agreed to do indefinite month to month. And I was leaving Friday night, and had I waited, I would have had to pay for the extended stay at least one more day, so - - - I'm still saving over the extended stay, and this is much nicer. Especially compared to that one place - - -

What one place?

Well, I found this on Craigslist, which freaked Black Rook out- - - he was all like, you should get their picture, and ask them what they are like, and is she straight, is she gay, meet up somewhere - - I'm like, that's a little intrusive- I'm not going to DATE my roommate, I don't care what they look like, or whatever. And I have no interest in pursuing anyone/thing outside of Black Rook, not to mention any energy, so he has nothing to fear. Like I'm going to mess it up NOW. And for what?

Anyhow, I'm too tired in the evening to do anything but nap. I haven't even really cooked yet.

But, Cruella, speaking of messing things up, what about Robin?

What I really want to know is what is up with all the bird names. Black Rook, Robin- -

Sigh. I haven't really written about this, also because they might read it. But- I shan't remember it if I don't write about it.

I met Black Rook with the understanding -- based on several conversations with Robin over time, and let's not forget, HE broke up with ME. Also, when he met someone in Nashville, I was happy for him. He was very vague about whether or not he wanted to move down here, he didn't want to live with me, and he never really renewed any kind of we're dating or committment thing so. I thought he would have been happy for me.

And he was not.

Then he came down for an interview. And I don't know if I would have felt comfortable doing this, especially since Black Rook was there- but he stayed in my house.

Now. Robin, I feel, is a good friend of mine. He has been a good friend for two years (how quickly time passes) and we had many good memories together and I suppose, it just didn't happen, largely because of distance. It could have, had he moved down here, but it didn't happen in time.

Robin will tell you that he meant to do this and he was looking for a job down here etc.

Well then he should have communicated that a little better. I got a whole lot of we'll see's which turned into We'll see? See ya later!

I am terrible.

Black Rook was extremely worked up about Robin coming to visit, which- I really

And then we went to the beach
and then I was accused of plotting to put a crab in Black Rook's bed
which was exactly what I was going to do, I am so sadly predictable.

New Jokes

Everyone is going on and on and on about the whole gay marriage thing before the Supreme Court . . . I should have a stronger feeling about this but I'd rather just make jokes about it. See, I don't know what the big deal is, because gay marriage is already legal. Gays can get married. In all states. I know of at least one person, who deliberately or inadvertently, married a gay. Gays can even marry each other. What they cannot do is get married to someone of the same sex, which is why I suppose it is why they are calling it same-sex marriage. Perhaps also they are calling it same sex marriage in order to make straight people not care. "Why, I've had a same sex marriage for years! Nothing weird about that! We've been having the same kind of sex for years! Twice a week, he says, roll over baby, I want some, and then we do it. Seven minutes. Each time. Just like the frosting." The states which have legalised gay marriage are Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington, and District of Columbia. . . Now I want to point something out. These are all states, particularly Iowa, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, . . . which have a high concentration of lesbians, and isn't the whole DOMA challenge being brought by a lesbian? I think lesbians are so unheralded in gay history. There are lots of famous gay men in history . . . michaelangelo, Socrates, all those fashion designers, movie stars and directors, you know . . . but the only famous lesbians I can think of are Gertrude Stein, who wrote unreadable books, and Eleanor Roosevelt, who started a long proud line of really ugly Democratic women, right on down to Amy Carter, Janet Reno, and Chelsea Clinton. Lesbians are just less noticeable, or go less out of their way to be noticed . . . sometimes . . . you go by someone in Home Depot and you think, hey, it's the Brawny man- plaid shirt, jeans, medium length hair, boots, a little "husky" they've cut back on his mustache a little- - - and it's ostensibly a chick. Perhaps this just goes to show you what all women can accomplish when they don't have to, or don't want to spend all their time getting pretty for a man. I mean, Condi Rice was an accomplished concert pianist, who managed to avoid getting nom nom nomed by Aretha Franklin, and Secretary of State and etc etc, and first American woman in space, Sally Ride, and, yah! Watch out for the lesbians, is what I say, and not just because they are easily mistaken for backhoes. I would like to know how you compliment a lesbian on her new love interest. Because to a dude, you can always say, s/he's hot! And the dude will generally appreciate it. Now if she isn't hot, and I'm thinking of someone in particular, you can say, she seems really nice, or smart, or (in contrast to your last girlfriend) really sane. . but like to a lesbian, they aren't what I would consider hot, cos I am not turned on by Drew Carrey, and I have not been an attorney long enough to convincingly lie. And they seldom come across as nice . . . more like, intense. Is that an appropriate compliment? Can you say, oh yes, your new lady friend, she seems really, intense? Or will they beat you with sporting equipment? I'm kinda looking forward to the whole gay marriage thing, also, because it is going to give a whole new meaning to the word "gay divorcee" and also the weddings and the bridezilla things are going to get so out of hand. The weddings are going to require a choreographer. Madonna is going to remix the wedding march for aging queens and I guess . . . Lady Gaga can remix it for the youngish folks? And the wedding planners are frequently gay, right, so there's lots of possibilities for much sleeping around excitement and drama. I say bring it on, because when you have people like Rush Limbaugh, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Newt Gingrich discussing marriage . . . Ima say you can safely go 180 degrees from it. And yes, I know, that Bill Clinton "recently reversed his position on gay marriage" or whatever. That man would eat a bug on live television if he thought it would get him attention. There is nothing too humiliating for him to do, including pretend to be married to Hillary, and screw really woofy chicks, in order to keep in the spotlight. Although, on the other hand, I'm not really sure why gay people are all that anxious to get married. They used to basically HAVE to get married a while ago, and then they fought not to do that, and then now they want to get married . . . but to another gay . . . of the same sex. I did used to want to get married. And then for a while, I thought I would end up like in musical chairs where everyone was married and I was the only one left . . . and now I am thinking, I am going to end up like in musical chairs, and the difference is I am going to be the only one left with an utterly unsuitable person that will be hella expensive to get rid of. If they make marriage legal, this could be unpleasantly complicated, and I could end up really stuck somehow, which I am thinking I do not want to do, because there seems to be thus far a huge and unbridgeable canyon between men who are sexually attractive and men who are great relationship material. Y'all, I tried with Mr. K. He is so hot! But he is also very moody and hateful, and after he had a fit at Anthony who came to install the dishwasher and disposal, and had a fit at Nathan, who came to have his taxes done, he gots to go. I can rather understand the whole . . . I don't want your exes coming over, but Mr. K. also, inexplicably to me, hates Sheridan, and he hates several other people he may not have met. And Nathan and I were doing taxes in the dining room. Not remotely suspicious or questionable. And Mr. K. - turned into the situation rather than being in a situation? So. Actually, have I met guys who seem to be good relationship material? Perhaps not. I have tried though. Certain people . . . one . . . that should have been, and I don't even know why it didn't work out. But o well. At least I tried, and I can say I've had an interesting life thus far.

More Fun with Mr. K.

A lot of things have happened since I last posted. I finally managed to get another house and am going to be moving as soon as the floors go in. This took forever. Mr. K. . . That has been going probably further than either of us thought possible. What is Mr. K like Cruella? Well, he talked me into buying a television (!?!?!!?) and such. Mr. K is . . . well. First of all, he is the first person I ever met who will not eat my cooking. He doesn't like your cooking, Cruella? No! He is very suspicious of it. Mr. K has a long list of things he will and will not eat. One day, I was making creamed spinach. Mr. K was unaware that you could cook that kind of spinach. He thought that the kind of spinach that is cooked and the leaf kind were different. He also experienced squash for the first time and declined to eat collard greens with fish, stating "That's how you put a spell on people." Mr. K did not know that crunchy peanut butter exists. Also, apparently it is bad luck to let a woman into your house first thing on the New Year so one year when his Auntie came to the house, they wouldn't let her in. Mr. K also has an aunt who lives in a treehouse in Macon. Interesting! Yes!

Halloween Costume Ideas

I'm threatening to have a Halloween party again, cos, I have like, lots of extra time, and space in my house to do this. Not. I am so sick of my "office" being all over the house. It is in the living room, dining room, and bedroom. Cruella, why don't you move? Cos I cannot get financing, which I think is stupid. I'm hoping, after I file taxes in 2013, I can get financing and then move, but the other problem is that all the houses are being bought up. Except yours. Except mine! So really, I just want to dress up and act up. So I was going to tell y'all about Halloween costume ideas; I already posted what I thought was cute to facebook which was the Ladies of Lichtenstein, Picasso, and Warhol. Then another idea is you could be an Allegory; I think Hope has pretty much been ruined . . . Cruella, what is an allegory? An allegory is the personification of an idea, more or less. I'm not going to even try to defend the precision of that definition, but you could dress up as Ambition, or Charity, or Faith, or . . . Cruelty or Wantonness would be fun. Why don't you cut straight to the point and dress up as Alcoholism? Cos then people would say "Where's your costume?!" Ha ha. Which leads me to another idea, which is you could be the personification of your favourite drink, like you could dress up as a Cosmopolitan, or a Martini, or bourbon, or kentucky moonshine . . . Huh. Or if you are really fat, and I know a couple of people like this, you could dress up as the Budget Deficit. I did the Masque of the Red Death several times so I'm ready for a new costume. But literary Characters are always good. And I haven't yet used that dead bird, and as far as I know I still have it, so . . . Or actually, what I think would be fun for People who are Not Very Witty, you could dress up as a Hair Metal Band. Dress up as Journey, especially if you are going to a party at which there will be a lot of white chicks. That's enough writing about Halloween costumes. How is it that all day while driving around, I think about interesting things to write, and then when I actually sit down to write them, cannot remember what I was supposed to write? I did want to write about my career and where all of this is right now. I have more or less given up actually "practicing" law and converted to full time doing these mobile closings. Naturally, I cannot just do something because it simply makes sense; I have to ponder everything in great detail. I love doing the closings because it's simple and it pays well. I get a call, make a couple of calls, print out documents, fed ex them back, and I'm done. I do not have to deal with all the hassle of clients, or billing, or follow up, or battling with anything I do not know, like the terror of depositions and service and . . . the whole practice of law. I think had I had more/better training, I would feel differently, but I don't. I have learnt how to do a lot on my own but . . . all in all, would rather not. And yes, you can make a good deal of money in solo/semi-solo practice, but honestly, to do it effectively, you probably need an office (see need to move, above) and an assistant, and you need to advertise, and time you do all that, you are grossing more but netting something comparable, with a lot more work. That Madame Iron Butterfly didn't seem to be rolling in it, however, she certainly didn't want to share it with anyone. I'm making 6 figures and I frequently get to come home and take naps, and sometimes, if Mr. K. is at home, other recreational activities. I never have to sit through idiot meetings. I don't have a boss. I don't have co-workers. I don't have to get up (usually) at some idiot hour. MC was complaining about her job and saying that she was having trouble with billable hours and there was interpersonal drama at work and I'm thinking, I am having none of that. I have a feeling she may have been somewhat responsible for the interpersonal drama at work . . then again, perhaps not . . and then they made her take the North Carolina Bar, and she failed, and I would just die. One concern is that I might be selling myself short; I have thought about that. The world is full of people who want to be Clarence Darrow and will change the world or make a difference in people's lives. I've done that teaching. This is certainly not the most challenging thing in the world, and in some ways, it might be a waste of a law degree, but on the other hand . . . I am thinking back to what I HONESTLY, in my blackened, shriveled up little heart of hearts went to law school to do, and it was to Make Money and do something Less Stressful. And I'm doing that. I have enjoyed (almost all of) the cases I've worked on, but this is a much happier niche for me. I'm also thinking, if I really get bored, I can always restart the law practice. I'm not seeing getting bored with this though. I am, however, concerned about the closings drying up. So the most sensible thing for right now, at least, is be fiscally prudent and save some money while trying to get another house. That means paying less on my debt than I optimally could. But I'm going for that laser gazelle intensity that Dave Ramsey is always talking about in getting a house. Mr. K. and I are still getting to know each other. It's funny how in both of these situations, I'm happy . . . and at the same time on my guard that both the career and new gentleman friend could be whisked away at any time. In many ways, we are different people, but we are very attracted to each other . . . Cruella, you're mistaking lust for love again! I might be, and then on the other hand, the people I should have had more in common with on paper, never worked out either, so why the heck not. Might as well try. Everyone has their issues and for whatever reason, I'm really not meeting people who are more similar, so why not try someone different. How different is he? Well, I did discuss he is . . . husky, shall we say. Not so big as "Where's my Bukkit?" He also likes rap "music." O, are you going to get all George Will on us? Yes, I am. "Rap music" if you ask me is an oxymoron. I know that has been said before and often but ima say it again anyway. And I do not know and could not tell you if what Mr. K. likes to listen to is Rap or hip hop, but it is all horrible. I am going to lump it under the label of Rap and tell you that it is like having the shingles, which is extremely painful and utterly preventable. I can understand, having been exposed to it, why so many of those kids I was teaching thought they could be rappers; it takes absolutely no talent whatsoever, from what I can tell, to be a rapper. All you have to do is shout banalities about how other (n-bad word) are jealous of you and you don't give a (f-bad word) and then you smoke weed and ho's want you and you have lots of them. Then you get one of those cheapo electronic keyboards, made in some place below China, like Bhutan, and tinker on it and then reloop it and shout over it. Mr. K. is fond of one song which insists, over and over, "I'm going to work!" Go to work then, and begone, I think. I suppose the concept of working is so novel to these people that it seemed an inspired subject for a song. Frankly, I am not one of those people who "likes all kinds of music." As if y'all didn't already know. My idea of diverse musical tastes is to like Eurythmics AND solo Annie Lennox and solo Dave Stewart. If I get really adventurous, I like '80's pop and hair metal and Van Halen and classical music and opera. There are a few other things I like, but . . . Oh, and I have a story I think is funny for you. So Mr. K. wanted me to say a word to him while . . . but the problem is that I cannot say this word with any sort of real conviction, not practicing it regularly, so I sound like Dora the Explorer while saying it. He hasn't asked me again.

In Which Alex Refuses to Admire my Hickey

So I had a lovely hickey this weekend and commanded Alex to admire it. "Look at my hickey!" I commanded. "Errrr," said Alex. You would think he would be happy for me, that I am having a nice time and all. Aforementioned hickey was brought to me by a gentleman I will call Mr. K. So Cruella, what happened to Gummi Bear and Robin and Trey? Well. I went on vacation with Gummi Bear, we had a lovely time, and he is determined to stay friends, which is fine with me. You cannot/should not force someone to do things they don't want to do. Although, my faith was sorely tested when, at a restaurant between Chichen Itza and the resort, I got a bug crawling out from underneath my rice. If God exists, surely He would have put it in Gummi Bear's food. That would have been a delightful spectacle, the restaurant would have been overturned. Sigh. Robin is in Memphis taking care of his Dad, and . . . I'm not waiting around. Trey and I cannot even be friends. It was time for him to go, and he did something while I was gone and got put out. As far as I know, he's in Asheville. I'll still talk to him, but . . . whatever there was, is dead and gone forever. I'm in a different place in my life now. So Mr. K. Now, Mr. K I am having a few doubts about, because he is in one of those Situations. I am trying to make sure that he is just IN a situation and is not THE situation. I just don't want to be involved with another Trey. That being said, it is unfair to carry baggage around. I hope to have learnt, grown, and then, be optimistic but careful. I'm certainly not perfect myself, right? Nobody is. Mr. K is a bus driver, and also has a, um, "traditional bus driver's physique." No he is not as fat as my friend the Lolrus! And Mr. K, unlike the Lolrus, hasn't yet kicked a hole in my bedroom wall! Mr. K says he loves me, which enthralls me, and we are getting on nicely. And Mr. K DOES have a job, and it's . . . ok, and he does have an apartment, and he does . .not have a car. Cruella, you have a whole bunch of cars! You should give him one! RRRRRK! NOTHING DOING! I have been encouraging him to make extra money with field trips. Mr. K has his heart set on one of those buy-here-pay-here Chargers, which I think is a terrible idea. Those cars are just as much as a new car. Also, if you don't have any money, a car payment is a terrible idea. I have been vociferous and persistent (imagine that) in advocating the Thousand Dollar Ciera. Well, think about it. They run forever, and for a little more than the down payment, you OWN the thing and no one can take it away. After a few months, get something better. Mr. K has thus far resisted the charms of the Thousand Dollar Ciera, but I am, as y'all know, vociferous and persistent. Oh. And Mr. K does not, as in Through the Looking Glass, rejoice in insects. Every time he sees one he stops eating. "It's an old house, it's in the South, there are bugs," I tell him. Mr. K is unconvinced. Mr. K is also trying to talk me into skydiving, which . . . is highly unlikely. That strikes me as a modern day witch trial sort of thing. If you die, you're a witch. I would not pay good money to fall out of a plane. I know better than this.

No More Whine!

Oooh, oooh! Many many things have happened since I last blogged, all of them (fairly) positive.

The biggest and best thing is that my business is beginning to take off. I have closings every day, and then I have been getting clients. I figured out that at $300/day over 265 days, I can pull down $79500. Then some days I make more, some days I make less, and then of course I have to pay taxes, and at some point health cover, and so forth, but that's . . . very nice. The closings pay well too for what I am doing. They're generally stress free and if I do two or three a day, my bills are paid and then some. Of course, I'm driving, but anything is better than document review.

Now in terms of my own business, I have been working with a number of clients. I'm not charging a whole lot of money, but it is coming in . . . bam! I do family law, civil litigation, business things . . . I think that things will expand until I have more to pick from and I can say, I don't do this. . . snort.

Or I kinda like general practice. I might actually not mind moving to some small place and being one of a couple of lawyers in the town and having an old fashioned office on the courthouse square.

The best part of this is I am being successful and have choices and am going to use my power for good, mostly.

Thus far, I did that business fraud thing and got those guys their business back . . . which has been interesting, as they resolutely have failed to listen to any of my advice thus far like, y'all should get your business license! Yes, you really do need it!

And I put together and ran the whole stolen dog thing. Yah I know that it ended up in criminal court, what a farce but still.

I still have the Vineyard case. Fascinating, and a great name-maker.

I have a couple of family law type cases . . . a child support enforcement, a hellish divorce, and then a weird 1st amendment deal.

I am working with my foreign Tahitian investor, the first guy having abandoned me.

Now something I am very proud of is that one lady who I have been working with her . . . some relative, she got let go from her job after something like 3 years and 364 days, and they were paying 2 weeks severance for every year, and then they only wanted to give her 6 weeks severance, so I said, give me $100. . . and I will do my best, and so I made one phone call and BAM she got what she wanted, I was so happy! She was too!

Then another good thing I did was Gummi Bear was in a car accident and they wanted- actually, were rather insistent- about repairing his old car. I said it didn't make sense to put that kind of money into an 11 year old car that was giving trouble so long story short, he got $1177 more for the car than he would have had I NOT negotiated with the Insurance company, and he also ended up with a new Charger, 2012, for 19,088, 1700 odd dollars cheaper than the least expensive non-disclosure car.

And also in this custody case - y'all, this doesn't have to make sense to you. All I need is so that when I go back and look at this, it makes sense to ME. Opposing counsel drags in his whole dog and pony show, carts of binders, and I just show up with my one folder. I ended up getting what we wanted! Yay for me!

So now I am on my way to being rich and like one of the 1% I think I should do what rich people are always being accused by liberals of doing, which is Oppressing the Poor. The only poor person I really know is Trey, and I have practiced on him, but he is resolutely unoppressible. He throws fits anyway. I dunno where all these poor people are that are oppressible but let me see can I find any so I can practice.

I know one thing for sure is Mrs. Rick is not oppressible. I made the mistake of agreeing to handle something for her - getting some unclaimed funds- and she now calls me EVERY DAY. Also you take one look at Mrs. Rick and she is not the kind of lady I would mess with. I cannot blame Rick for smoking I think. I would too. She's about to drive me to it. I sent in the paperwork, that's all I can do. Sigh.

And I have a new good joke for you. So Ford is creating a new division, sponsored by Ellen, to replace Mercury. They also want to revive flagging sales of the Taurus, so it's going to get its own division, called CLI . . .

And another one. Everyone's all worked up about Iran getting the nucular bomb, but . . . they cannot even get razors right. They're all like, SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE Achmed what the hell is this! This is a box grater! Fuck it, we'll never get it right, let's just put it in the religion, everyone has to wear big fuck off beards! The solution to this is the . . . nucular goat. Like it's late Friday night in the compound, the goat is looking good! Mohammed goes outside, gets close to the goat, is enjoying himself, and BLAM! problem solved.

Whom do you mourn?

Well, I got my bank statement in the mail today and had une crise de nerfs. . .

Yah, I know y'all are sick of hearing about that sort of thing. Y'all are all, "Dude, get it together!"

It's a little harder for me to "get it together" than it perhaps seems. I'm almost certainly doing better objectively than I was a year ago . . . and I do know that I'm starting over, back to square one, and starting a new career is always difficult. I think I'm happy I did this now. I don't think I could have done it over again 5 years from now. If I do keep making progress at this rate, probably in 3 years, I'll have an assistant, a real own firm . . . and the math hits me too. I'm not in the position to charge $200/hr, I can charge perhaps $75- so to make $75K a year- and to cover my expenses after taxes, and get health cover, I need to be making about 60-75K- that means that I need to be able to bill (and get) 1000 hours over the course of the year.

Well, that's 40 hrs/week, aren't you doing that?

Yes and no. I do have the closing thing, which is good, but I get very distracted working at home and probably manage 4 billable hours/day in addition to the closings. I don't have the systems in place right now to manage the full billable requirements- I still haven't sent the one French client a bill- it's a little overwhelming - - -

It will be, until you get things worked out-

I'm rather afraid of just- missing the metaphorical boat, I suppose. Suppose I never get it together?

But it's your first real year of law practice, and you have been- entirely successful at what you've put your hand to! Despite the terrors!

Yes, that's true. It will come together . . . I don't have much of a choice, do I?

The Job Fairy hasn't snuck anything under your pillow?

Not the last time I checked.

So then.

I did title this, "Whom do you mourn?"

Yes, you did. I suppose now you are going to tell us what that means.

Yes, I am. "Robin" and I had an argument- he was supposed to- is, in fact, coming down for New Year's, and I got a Groupon deal for Savannah- Tybee Island, and proposed it to him, and at one point he came back and asked me, "Do I have to pay for your meals," and I'm thinking- asshole. You know- I don't have any money, and your ass is making 6 figures, and this is to be debated? I have enough money worries on my own without someone else bringing them to me. It's MY goddamn turn to be spoilt a little bit. I don't ask for much, but- we've been- in one way or another- seeing each other for beyond three years- and you STILL don't have a passport? So we can go somewhere cheap? And then you cut short our trip, despite three weeks of vacation, because it must not cut into your vacation time, and then ' frankly, I want to be spoilt a little, and live it up a bit. Dammit, he has money. I will get there someday, I'm not there now, but everyone else has been more generous to me than he has. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, but part of going away and being on vacation is TOTAL RELAXATION. . . not worrying about money I don't have.

Is it time to close that door?

Well, this goes back to "Whom do you mourn?" I was a different person when I met him than I am now. I do think the more I learn- dude, if you can spend $700 - seven hundred dollars- on a pair of cycling glasses- then dammit, spend a little to make me happy. Even Trey- of all people- is willing to spend money to make me happy, on a bumper for the Cadillac. In some ways, I do mourn my old self, but it's time to move on. I need, and I do, see myself more as a successful person, and I need to carry confidence in myself instead of doubt, even if that means cutting people off.

Are you ready to do that?

I've always had relationships determined on someone else's terms. That hasn't been fair or right to me. . . I do know that whatever shape the relationship takes, Trey and I have an amazingly strong marriage- - - - something could come along to change that, but . . . here we are, and perhaps it can be an "open relationship" but we are, in some way, together forever. . .

Does that exclude "Robin?"

No . .. the day may come when I say,I'm completely done with this. . . but that hasn't happened yet. and I'm still taking care of that Vineyard controversy. So . . . if I wanted a husband to take care of me, I'm yet looking for him.

Yah, well, enough about me. Let's talk about She Who Must Not Be Named in the Blog.

Ooooh, let's!

So one day she came to Dad's house, and she had brought salad-

What's wrong with that?

She brought it in a frypan! A skillet! As though she doesn't have enough bowls! And then she proceeded to get VERY worked up because some neighbour had had the presumption to approach her on the street to talk to her and ask her "personal" questions such as, "What do you do?" and "Where do you work?" She was hugely offended by this. I found this extremely amusing.

Other things that have been happening: The VAN got stolen! I woke up one Saturday morning and looked out the window and the VAN was about 30 feet (I cannot estimate distance) down the street! I was puzzled by this but Trey was in process of recovering from an EPIC conniption, occasioned by a nasty cold, and so I was distracted by that- but I was thinking, why is it there? And I discovered that someone had jimmied the window and destroyed the ignition. It was still ON but not running. The police lady eventually- after a lot of calls- came- "There's no one available right now to respond to you." said the 911 lady. She was nice, and actually wore makeup, but completely indifferent. We had a lengthy argument about how the police report should have been written up. I wanted burglary and theft, but she didn't want to do it. "It's been moved out of the curtilage," I pointed out, and there's clear intent of depriving me of my property, and I have, in fact, been deprived of such, as with the ignition destroyed, I cannot use it. There was also- at least to me- a clear hand print on the sliding door on the driver's side.

The police lady wasn't hearing any of this. She figured out very quickly I was an attorney. "My father's an attorney," she said. But she claimed the handprint was smeared and they wouldn't be able to do anything with it.

My thinking was, eventually they might catch this person, and then they can tie a lot of things together, right? Not, apparently, according to Police Lady. She had a lot of questions about was the house for sale, which I parried with, do you know anyone who wants to buy a house? No, she did not. I said that we were really trying to make the neighbourhood better. She said Alston was a nice place. I did my best to encourage her to put as much as possible on the report but she did not, saying, "we don't stack charges." She had many questions about the yard. "Yes, it's art," I told her. "The short version is, my neighbours," and I pointed- - - "are assholes." This did not, apparently, satisfy her, but she didn't ask any further questions.

Bullshit, is what I say to the stacking charges point. I know that they do and can. I'm mad because they bother my parents about a goddamn tree, and one of my cars gets stolen and I meet with complete indifference.

Anyway, it cost $470 to have the VAN fixed at Rick's. I asked him about the driver's side sliding door, and he said it would cost ! $249! - for the latch- there apparently isn't one available in the junkyard yet, and I said no, I would wait on that. Dammit.

Lemons and Lots of Them

Well. Many things have happened since I last posted. I forgot most of the things I wanted to write about, but.

Alex's wedding was really nice. It was in the mountains. It was considerably - well, I might say, "enlivened." No- not enlivened. It was enawfuled (there's probably a real word for this) by Trey throwing an epic fit. And Sailor Moon tried to fight him.

Ma apparently behaved herself. They met Amber's parents for the first time just before the wedding.

The long and short of it is that we went up, stayed in a cabin, Trey had a conniption, Alex and Amber got married, and it was very nice.

Let's see, there have been a bunch of things that I wanted to talk about. Now, of course, that I actually have time to write them, I can't remember them.

How is the law practice going?

It's - - - going. I suppose I should be happy about this. I've pieced together a little bit of this and a little bit of that and hope to get somewhere. I'm doing mobile closings; at the moment the thing with the French real estate investor seems to have come to an end, I don't know why, and then the Tahitians, I don't know what's going on with that. I have been getting a few cases here and there and battling my way through them. Each thing I do, I am getting better and better at. So the breakthrough will come bit by bit, but the more I do this, the more I understand why they call it the "practice" of law.

Are you still looking for a job?

Sometimes. I am pretty wrapped up in what I am trying to do and then - I might take it more seriously had I gotten somewhere- anywhere- and even document review has dried up. I'm over it, I think over the last year and a half or so, I've sent out something like over 300 cover letters and resumes. And perhaps, some of them aren't very good but I don't know what to write. I have had probably 10? 20? interviews? Even applying to go back and teach French went nowhere. So here I am. Life gives you lemons . . .

And my one friend I know, Miss Cho, who has a job, is also having to take the NC bar and I don't think she's getting paid all that much. So there are disadvantages to having a job. My time and how I spend it is my own. That's good! I'm taking advantage of it as much as I can- I don't have to get up early, no stupid meetings, life is - ok. And it is interesting and challenging.

Well, you should be happy, you have a roof over your head, food to eat . . . bills are (mostly) paid . . .

Dammit, I do remind myself of that, and then on the other hand, I should be doing better. There's only so much one can lower one's expectations. I have two degrees and I don't ask THAT much out of life but the smallest things seem to have become unattainable. I was hoping for in house counsel at an international corporation in 07, then reduced that idea, and reduced it, and now I have this. It shouldn't have been too much to think I'm going to make 60-80 straight out of school. I did externships and tax clinic and worked hard (at least honestly) at a pretty good school. I speak several languages and have good experience prior to law school. Honestly, I should be doing better.

Well, it's the Obamalypse, so.

Suppose things DON'T get better?

Now I read a lot of old Car and Driver magazines, like the caretaker in The Moonstone turned to Robinson Crusoe when he was feeling out of sorts. I purchased a whole bunch of the things- boxes of them- and I read about all the doom and gloom in the late 70s. In 1978-1979, it really DID look like nothing would get better and everyone predicted that by 1984 we'd be driving three cylinder sub chevette cars. But things did get better. I'm hopeful, but what is it going to take? I don't have much faith that the Republicans who can do something about the economy will get elected. I am NOT voting for Romney, we just had the spoilt Daddy's boy as president, and although Bush handled a completely unprecedented crisis, and the WORST crisis of American history faultlessly, we cannot afford another Bush.

I dunno. I'm going to have to figure out, day by day, how I can be better. I suppose now I'm happy I didn't move a few years ago and am now paying a 120K note on a house that's worth 40.

But you're paying an $80K note on a house worth 30.

This, sadly, is true.

What about Trey? What's that whole situation about?

Well. Trey still does not have a job. He is in school for welding. I am seriously beginning to think that he probably won't ever really be self sufficient. His best shot at that was Masada and he messed that up. He is helping out by giving me food stamps. We are friends, although there really haven't been any benefits, I haven't been much in the mood. Now, Trey is dating/seeing other people. I haven't been seeing anyone much cos I've been too bizzy but "Robin" is supposed to visit at the end of the year.

"Robin" is still around?

Yes! I care about him but the whole Virginia thing- I know he had to go there for his job but . . . it is making things much harder. In Nashville, I could just pop up there.

In terms of Trey, honestly what I am hoping (however unlikely this might be) is that either he will get it together and move on- this was meant to be a temporary thing- or that someone will fall madly in love with him- (look now! I've seen worse!) and then that will at least temporarily solve that issue. Perhaps in some way or another, we will always be together, at least as friends. We are getting on well and he is keeping me from being lonely or climbing the walls. That being said, I think that we probably both know better than to try to date again. On the other hand, he really seems to have changed, but also, I'm just not in the place right now to devote a single bit of mental energy to trying to start a relationship with anyone other than my career. That's my whole focus right now.

Did you do anything for Halloween?

NO! I had Kaplan class the night of and have just been too wiped to really concentrate on that.

You didn't celebrate HALLOWEEN? That is nuts!

I know. This has been a bizarre year.

Well, what about Thanksgiving?

What about it? We had it, it was good, no epic arguments, but enjoyable, and then Trey was in Chattanooga doing community service for his DUI . . . Thanksgiving is fairly standard - - - You know Dad wants it done the exact same way, every year.

Then I dunno about Christmas. I wish there were more to look forward to in terms of $. I still want a fur coat. But not- for some time yet. We'll see. Eventually.